Does buc ee's allow semi trucks
Is how my former employer paying his driver's legal?
2023.06.09 16:42 IntroductionSmooth Is how my former employer paying his driver's legal?
I work in the business of overnight car parts delivery. The state of Wisconsin employers are exempt from paying driver's time and a half for overtime. Before we started our routes every night we had to sort out 3 semi loads of parts in the warehouse for 2-3 before scanning and loading our trucks before we do our routes.
There are employees that work in the the warehouse full time helping drivers sort parts and load trucks. When they are not sorting parts they sorting mail that is delivered on semi and from large hubs to our warehouse to be delivered to local post offices during the day. These warehouse works receive time and a half for their overtime because the employer is legally required to do so sometimes making more money than drivers.
There is roughly an average of 10 hours a week minimum that driver's sort parts in the warehouse before they do their route. Wouldn't the driver's also be considered warehouse workers also? This is more than simply loading and scanning parcels for leaving.
Is what this company doing legal? Would this company have to possibly pay workers back for this? Is it worth it for me to file a claim with a government agency? If so which agency?
Company is very unprofessional and have been in trouble for similar things. I work for a different company now that pays salary and does not require b Me to sort before my route.
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2023.06.09 16:30 khoafraelich789 2023 Chevrolet Tahoe Z71 First Test Review: The SUV That Does It All
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Need to do, well, just about anything? The Tahoe can handle it.
Aggressive approach and departure angles
Soft-touch interior details
Great versatility for family adventuring
5.3-liter V-8's lackluster performance/economy
20-inch wheels aren't practical for off-roading
Push-button gear selector is fussy for no good reason
In these SUV-crazed times, and when gas prices are a lesser concern, the Chevrolet Tahoe just might be the quintessential modern family vehicle. As a jack of all trades, it can tow toys, haul stuff, transport people, tackle a trail, and hold its own in the valet line. But as the saying continues, as a master of none, the 2023 Chevy Tahoe Z71 we tested isn't overwhelmingly excellent in any one category, instead aiming for a well-rounded, realistic target that it mostly nails for families (and businesses) with lots of things to do. For these customers, versatility beats being a master of one, as the saying sometimes ends. And hey, it's way more stylish than settling into minivan life.
Z71 Trim: What It Includes
The Z71 is the Tahoe's most off-road-oriented trim, falling below the Premier and High Country in terms of starting price. Exterior visual differences up front include a skidplate and a high-clearance fascia with red recovery hooks. Seasoned off-roaders know GM trucks have poor approach angles that often result in stuffing the front end into obstacles and ripping off valances, so this adapted front end is a definite positive for those who will actually take their Z71 on the trail. That fascia combines with the Z71's available air suspension (good for a 2-inch boost over normal ride height) to provide an approach angle of 34.5 degrees; the Z71's departure angle is 22.5 degrees, and both angles represent useful improvements over more road-oriented models.
The Z71 also features machined aluminum 20-inch wheels wrapped in 275/60 (33-inch) Goodyear Wrangler TrailRunner AT tires, black assist steps, and black roof-mounted side rails. The Z71 Off-Road package, available for another $6,000, bundles the Luxury, Max Trailering, Driver Alert, and Off-Road Capability packages, allowing buyers to pack on tons of features with one check mark. The last package specifically adds an electronically controlled limited-slip differential (eLSD), Magnetic Ride Control dampers, and adaptive air springs. You cannot order a Z71 with GM's excellent Super Cruise hands-free driving system, however.
The adaptive air suspension automatically adjusts for road conditions, lowering to improve aerodynamics and efficiency. You can also adjust it manually. Once in park, it kneels (lowers) for easier egress—though it's a rather slow process. The system is quiet with no loud air compressor sound and pretty seamless.
The setup offers nice ride quality, but does it make or break the Z71? Not really, as Tahoes on the regular suspension aren't uncomfortable. On the plus side, we used it to adjust heights when hooking and unhooking trailers. Why jump on the tailgate to disengage the ball when you can air down and lower the hitch?
Why We're Testing It
About that electronic limited-slip differential that we mentioned: When we previously tested a Chevy Tahoe Z71, the eLSD wasn't yet available; instead, that truck had a mechanical rear limited-slip diff. Again, this isn't a feature that's going to make or break the Z71 for the majority of customers; most of the time, you'd never know it was there. In certain low-range limited-traction circumstances, it could make a difference. That said, our colleagues at Four Wheeler put it to the test: "Our crew found that [the eLSD] wasn't tuned quite as well as the competition's. It's almost as if GM's engineers designed the Tahoe's eLSD to require a lot of wheelspin before engaging. An actual electronically controlled locking rear differential would make a world of difference." It becomes even less of a necessity considering most folks won't want to have our test SUV's 20-inch wheels if they're going to do regular trailwork.
Ain't So Peppy But Gets It Done
Our Radiant Red four-wheel-drive 2023 Chevy Tahoe Z71 housed the 5.3-liter V-8 making 355 hp and 383 lb-ft of torque. It gets the big SUV up to speed with little fanfare and works through a 10-speed automatic transmission that happily works away in the background. If you love the good ol' sounds and experience of a trusty V-8, the Tahoe's for you—your gas engine choices are this V-8 or a different V-8. (A torquey 3.0-liter turbodiesel is also available.) However, long gone are the days when V-8 automatically means quicker and faster than the rest.
Our Z71 accelerated from 0 to 60 mph in 7.3 seconds. Not bad, Jack, but the problem is that nearly all the four-wheel-drive full-size three-row competition betters that time. The Ford Expedition and Toyota Sequoia with their twin-turbo V-6s are both quicker, with the former reaching 60 mph a full two seconds ahead of the Z71. Rather than hanging with the zippy V-6s, the Z71 sandwiches nicely between its V-8 competitors, the Nissan Armada on top and the Wagoneer on the bottom. (Of course, the Wagoneer's V-8 Hemi is going bye-bye in favor of the excellent Hurricane twin-turbo inline-six.) The Z71 is the only one of these SUVs under 400 horsepower, and the fact that it's light—only the Expedition is lighter—doesn't make a difference. Maybe it's good there's a new sixth-gen small-block in the works.
Stick With The 5.3-Liter
The other available V-8, the 6.2-liter, is good for an additional 65 hp and 77 lb-ft of torque. Maybe more displacement delivers more awesome? Naturally, the 6.2-liter offers stronger foot-to-the-floor acceleration, but it also results in a heavier Tahoe that can tow and haul less than the 5.3-liter. Plus, the option tacks on an immediate $8,605 or so. And it requires premium gasoline.
Unless you absolutely insist on having the biggest V-8 you can get, we'd stick with the 5.3-liter. Any benefits of the 6.2-liter just don't outweigh the 5.3-liter. The 5.3-liter pulls the Tahoe around reasonably well in regular driving, and no one in the school drop-off line will really be the wiser.
All Those Trades This Jack Of An SUV Covers
Let's look at all the trades this jack covers. First, it's good for four people. The Chevy Tahoe Z71 can seat seven, even eight, but it's really in its element with four aboard. They each have their own captain's chair to stretch out, and the rear entertainment system with dual 12.6-inch screens now comes with built-in apps, making it more broadly useful. It's perfect for a family of four, with room in the third row for occasionally carrying grandparents or your kids' friends. Getting the whole crew out the door to dinner can be like herding cats; taking everyone in one car is a definite bonus. With the third row down, there's also enough room for all four folks to bring a decent load of luggage. If you plan to use the third row consistently, however, things get cramped very quickly. You gain people, but with the third row in use, you lose luggage room for those extra people. For families greater than four considering a Tahoe, we'd recommend a Suburban.
It can haul and tow. The Z71 has a payload of about 1,700 pounds and as equipped here can tow 8,200 pounds. Sans kids, we once flipped all but the driver and passenger seats down and hauled a metric ton of overlanding gear to install on another project. The enclosed, upright space handled everything like a boss, and it would have been much harder to secure the load in a pickup. Plus, the Z71 has automatic load-leveling thanks to that air suspension.
As for towing, we hitched an 8,000-pound 21-foot toy hauler to the Z71's cousin, the GMC Yukon AT4, and dragged it on a 2,400-mile road trip. We faced white-knuckle wind at the Bonneville Flats—the strongest we've ever experienced—steep grades, and everything in between. It did the job with confidence and stability. It's not all glowing, though. We averaged less than 9 mpg mpg while towing. Combined with the 24-gallon fuel tank, we were stopping for gas literally every time we could.
It's not miserable off-road. Short of "death-wheeling," proceed with confidence. The Z71 does not feel like it'll fall apart off-road. For sketchier trails, it has four-low, the eLSD, an Off-Road drive mode, 10 inches of ground clearance, a bumper made for moderate step-ups, and multiple camera angles for seeing obstacles. You probably won't go buy a Z71 specifically for off-roading—and if you do, again, you probably want to fit smaller wheels—but our colleagues at Four Wheeler named the GMC variant its SUV of the Year.
In The End …
The Chevrolet Tahoe Z71 isn't the most glamorous SUV going; even the GMC Yukon is perceived as more prestigious. But it can tow, it can take you far off the beaten path without shaking itself to death, it can swallow a ton of cargo, and it's as comfortable for long trips as almost anything you can buy. If you don't crave extra power or stout acceleration and aren't a fan of flashy SUVs, it's worth a look.
2023.06.09 16:08 nc845 Honest opinions?
2023.06.09 14:59 Srxq Euphoric City RP Public (Monday-Wednesday), Allowlisted (Thursday-Sunday), 18+
Website Discord Trailer
Euphoric City Roleplay is a semi-whitelisted FiveM server that focuses on quality roleplay and listening to community feedback. We maintain an active staff team and community, all of which work together to provide the best and most up-to-date FiveM server out there. We are currently whitelisted on Thursdays - Sundays, open Mondays - Wednesdays
Our team has various people from all different walks of life, allowing us to come together and create something bigger than ourselves and something that we believe welcomes people of all different creeds.
Our community is one of the friendliest and most welcoming you will ever meet! Scared to get involved in a new server? No need to worry, someone will always be willing to help and show you the ropes! We like to show appreciation to our community by listening to them and implementing new features that they have asked for.
We offer various jobs which require a small application to join, in order to ensure they are conducted at the highest level possible, these include:
- 🚓 Police Department
- 🚑 Emergency Medical Services
- ⚖ Department of Justice
- 🌐 Weazel
- 🏡 Real Estate
We offer many player-owned businesses, as well as the chance to create your own from absolute scratch, only costing in-game money that you have earnt throughout your time in the city! If you wish to work for one of these, simply ask a manager or an owner of the business in the city!
- 🍔 Burger Shot
- 👨🔧 Tuner Shop
- 🚗 PDM
- 🔧 Various Mechanics
- 💎 Diamond Casino
And more to find out in city!
We offer many civilian jobs that anyone can sign into can do in their free time for some cash on the side! These allow you to explore the city and are often a good first step for anybody new to the city!
- 🗑 Garbage Truck Job
- 🦌 Enhanced Hunting
- 🎣 Enhanced Fishing
- 🚚 Trucking
- 🌾 Farming
- 🪓 Logging
- 👷♂️ Quarry
- ⛏ Mining
Illegal Jobs & Heists
We offer many illegal jobs, with our new and custom-made criminal reputation system, allowing criminals to work their way up in the criminal underworld and unlock various things as their reputation increases. At the absolute basic level, this includes store and house robberies, but as you gain a name in the city, this expands to so much more that you must find out in the city!
We are regularly bringing in new heists for you to work your way towards and become the most notorious criminal in Los Santos!
Euphoric City offer a few activities to entertain you in your down time, these include:
- 🎾 Tennis
- ⛳ Golf
- 🎳 Bowling
On top of all of this, we have made almost 95% of our scripts from absolute scratch, as well as offering various elements not seen before in any other city!
- 💇♀️ Custom clothing & hair
- 🏢 Custom MLOs (All paid for & Up to date!)
- 🔨 Custom crafting system
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2023.06.09 14:01 Liberty-Prime76 Letter of Marque - A NoP Fanfic 12
As always, thank you to u/SpacePaladin15
for the wonderful universe that is NoP
Thank you to u/cruisingNW
for proof reading and helping me out of some hang ups, you're the man! Honestly LoM wouldn't have gone very far without him! If you haven't you should absolutely go read Foundations of Humanity
! It's very
good. First Prev.
--- Memory Transcription Subject: Christopher A. Dewey, Human Merchant Sailor, Venlil-Human Exchange Participant
Date [Standardized Human Time]: August 29th, 2136, Very Early Morning.
We got a message an hour ago from Videk, ordering us to report to Hangar-08 to start On-Stick training; and to bring our bags! I guess the guy had wanted to get as much out of the day as he could. That or he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
Videk met us at the doors to the hangar, a small travel bag sitting on the floor by his side, tail swaying slowly as he watched us approach. “Good Waking, Taisa. Good Waking… Christopher.” An improvement, I’ll have to ask Taisa about that talk they had.
“This,” He continued, motioning to the shuttle parked in the hangar behind him with his tail. “Is your training shuttle: registration C1-0V3R-HR-EX.Your first On-Stick training assignment will be to follow appropriate lift off and departure procedures, plot and follow a course to The Capitol on Venlil Prime, seek permission to land from the proper authorities, and land safely and legally following those permissions. All of this, while following proper procedure and regulations. All of this will be graded.
As he speaks the door behind him slides open, revealing a broad hangar bay, heavy clamshell doors dominate the far wall. At the center of the bay sits a stout craft painted white and black, a pair of stubby wings jutting from its sides flowing into a pair of engines flanking a singular tail. Venlil script is painted at the root of the tail and on the top of the rear ramp.
“Upon arrival in the Capitol you will have some paperwork to do at the U.N. offices with regards to your habitation. I will need to pick up some equipment from the training facility at the landing fields. After our respective errands, let’s say half a claw, we will meet up back at the shuttle and from there you will be plotting an in-atmosphere route to Shadetree, Sunward of the Capitol, to drop me off and wait for me to install and calibrate the remote instructing equipment. Once that is completed, you will plot another in-atmosphere course to Heartwood River, concluding this paws evaluations. Do you have any questions?”
I shook my head, and Taisa flicked her ears, in what I believed was a negative. “Very good, load your stuff and we’ll begin immediately.”
After a few minutes of finding places to tie off our belongings and get everything situated, I sat in the pilot’s seat and ran through the pre-flight check with Taisa. We caught a pair of faults in the starboard fuel delivery units. Videk seemed pleased we had caught them, and that he hadn’t had to tell us they were there. I could feel a slight smile tug at the corner of my mouth. Devious little bastard makes for a damn good instructor.
Once the preflight was complete I closed the rear ramp and hailed the flight control tower. “Tower this is shuttle C1-0V3R-HR-EX requesting clearance for departure, place us enroute to Venlil Prime with planned landing zone of Capitol Shuttle Field 13-Bravo.” A Human voice came back over the line, a bit of mirth in their voice. “Shuttle, Tower, you are clear for departure, opening bay doors now. Good luck and Godspeed.”
The doors to the station hangar yawned open, filling the viewport with the void and all its stars beyond as I slowly brought the shuttle off the hangar floor, easing it out through the opening. I reached over to the nearest display and opened the Nav-computer interface, plotting our course to VP, and then on to the Capitol landing fields. Once I was confident I had the proper navigation commands and sequences set I called over Videk to have him review my work.
He gave me a quick flick of his tail before saying “Looks good, Christopher. Feel free to spool and jump when you’re ready.”
Videk’s approval given, I reached over and pushed forward on the throttles, engaging the drive and hurtling the shuttle into subspace.
It. Was. Beautiful. Everything seemed to stretch, stars in the distance turning from pinpricks of light into brilliant colorful streaks, lengthening as we bounded through the void. Lines of light far off in my periphery zip past like tracers as the ones before me feel as if they’re pulling me in with their kaleidoscope of color. The hum of the shuttle fell into the background while I became entranced by the light show in front me, picturing myself on the set of one of those old sci-fi shows I would watch with Pa on the weekends. The Future my ancestors had imagined was Here, right before my eyes and at the tips of my fingers! This view was… Hypnotic.
The simulator couldn’t hope to do it justice.
Two hours. That was it.
Two hours to travel what, until very
recently, would have been considered an insurmountable distance for Humanity. Dropping from Sub-space into the proximity of Venlil Prime was another astoundingly brilliant view. Scorched white deserts flowing into massive swathes of golden sands cut by the occasional streak of blue before blending into a beautiful verdant mix of turquoise and green fields, with vast lakes and rivers dotting the forests, flowing into wide marshy wetlands. Before finally, the curve of the planet fell away from its star, allowing the fading sunlight to showcase glittering city lights dotting the countryside.
The thrusters burn to life, crackling and thrumming with power as they drive us forward through the void to the beautiful marble before us. I flip two switches on the overhead, tapping the leftmost display to call up the local channel list and place a hail to the Capitol’s landing fields to request clearance and pad assignment. A quick ping, signifying my hail had been acknowledged, chimed over the console speaker.
“Capitol Shuttle Field 13-Bravo this is Shuttle C1-0V3R-HR-EX requesting clearance for landing at an available pad of convenience.” “C1-0V3R-HR-EX, you are cleared for landing, 13-Bravo, direct to pad Charlie-5.”
The Flight through the Void may have had some feeling of familiarity and nostalgia to the old Sci-fi shows at home; but in-atmo had the far
better view! Rolling turquoise fields and towering thick trees, with their canopies tilted greedily towards that unmoving sun, falling away to a gargantuan metropolitan area, its architecture entirely alien yet still somehow familiar. Massive skyscrapers soar to touch the sky, reflecting light in brilliant angles and colors, the space below them populated by squat sturdy buildings and deep black roads. The Venlil going about their lives below look like ants as I ease off the throttle, taking the speed down to prepare for the final approach. The display on the viewport flags my landing area with a small pip guiding me in, slow and easy.
The cabin jostles slightly as the ship settles onto its landing gear. Videk seemed impressed; his ears up as he tapped away at his data pad! Taisa’s tail sways happily back and forth as she runs through the diagnostics of the landing, checking system status reports.
“Looks like we’re all clear. Videk do you have a time we should try and be back by?” Taisa beeps, showing the flight instructor the console in front of her.
“I just need to pick up the equipment and get it linked up, that should only take about a half a claw. Walking to and from the landing field and the U.N. Offices should put you at about the right time.” Videk turned away and made for the ramp; Taisa’s talk helped, and he was clearly trying, but he was still a bundle of nerves around me. His fur was so puffed out it looked like he was holding more static than a thunderhead.
As we stepped out of the artificial gravity of the shuttle I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. My first step faltered making me stumble down the ramp and bounce off the… soft pavement? “Oh, forgot about that.” Videk winced sympathetically, “Our gravity is about twenty percent more than earth’s, so be careful. Falls are likely to hurt a little bit more here.”
“Would’ve been nice to know first
, Videk.” I groaned, rolling myself over and sitting up, luckily the visor hadn’t fallen off; I would need to add one of those new back braces and some knee compressors to that order of stuff from home. “Do you know where the U.N. Offices are? Or should we just ask around to find our way there?”
“I do not, but you should be able to get directions on your pad. I trust the two of you can figure it out, so I’m going to go get the equipment I need. I will wait for the two of you with the shuttle once I am ready.” With a parting flap of his ears, Videk turned and walked away; flicking the tip of his tail back and forth as he did.
“Alright then,” I grumbled, forcing myself up off the pavement, swaying as I found my new equilibrium. “let’s get going. Can you pull up those directions?” She nodded slightly, flicking her ears forward. “Got them up already! You alright there?”
“I’m fine.” I grunted, rolling out my shoulder a little. “Feels like I weigh a quarter ton, but I’ll get over it with time. Lead the way.”
After a few minutes of walking we were off the landing fields and into the streets of the city. My boots sinking into the pavement a little with each step, just like on the landing field. “Taisa, what is this stuff? I figured it was just to make landings a little softer on shuttles but it’s everywhere! Looks like pavement but it gives like rubber; why are your roads like this?” “Anti-stampede concrete.” She stated, matter of factly, like that meant literally anything to me. My silence must have tipped her off that I wasn’t getting it as she focused one eye on my visor. “Oh… I guess Humans wouldn’t need that. It’s to help reduce stampede fatalities, it’s the same reason the roads and buildings have gentle curves, no sharp angles.” Looking around at the way the groups of Venlil flowed through the streets I realized she was right, what I had thought was a futuristic aesthetic design was just to keep people from killing each other against walls or trampling them into the ground when they got scared. How strange… and slightly worrying.
“Weird, that sounds like some crazy wonder material. Bet we’d have a bunch of uses for it back on earth.” My eyes watched the tips of skyscrapers towering above us, “How far out does it say we are?”
“Only a little further, about one and a half kilometers.” She responded, a slight pant in her voice. I wasn’t in the best shape, cardio wise, but I couldn’t imagine getting winded after 10 minutes of walking; guess all that talk about the Venlil having less stamina than us was right.
The U.N. Office complex was a series of giant flowing buildings built on a large park area. It wasn’t any design I had ever seen so I figured it had to have been an existing complex that just got turned over to the U.N. for their uses.
Passing through the heavy glass front doors we found a wide receptionist's desk, with several Humans sitting behind it, answering questions and directing people where they needed to go. One of the receptionists, a short dark haired woman with a visor obscuring her face, beckons us over. “Hello! How can I help you today?” “H-Hi!” Taisa beeps excitedly, her tail swaying behind her confidently as she takes a deep breath and straightens her back. “We’re part of the ‘integration’ experiments, we were told we need to fill out some forms for habitation. Where do we go to do that?” “Oh! Congratulations! That would be Suite 216-B” The receptionist answered, excitement in her voice as she pointed to a room on the map infront of her.
“Thank you!” Taisa responded, turning to head up the stairs behind the receptionist's desk. Halfway up the stairs she swiveled her ears over to me before saying. “Sorry, I figure if I’m probably going to have to work with Humans other than you for this I should try and at least work on being able to talk to them.” “It’s alright,” I chuckle, patting her shoulder. “That’s a great idea and you’re doing alright!” Walking down the hallways we saw prints of landscapes from Earth, Machu Picchu, the Uyuni Salt Flats, The Grand Canyon, YellowStone, Hạ Long Bay, The Zhangye Mountains and Plitvice Lakes. I pointed out the places I had been to as we walked past them, finally stopping at suite 216-B.
The door was open so we knocked, getting a quick ‘enter’, before stepping in. A man sits behind a desk, the top covered in organized files and folders, a placard on his desk declares his name as ‘Obediah Kamara’ with a small Liberian flag stamped beside it.
His visor obscures his face as he looks between the two of us before beginning. “I presume you are…” He sorts through a couple of the files and folders before stopping on one and opening it, pulling out a document packet. “Christopher Dewey and Taisa. Correct?”
We both respond in the affirmative as he gestures for us to take the seats across from him, sliding the documents across the table as Taisa’s pad pings on her belt. “These are agreements to ensure that you,” He starts, looking at me. “Understand the rules in regards to your habitation here on Venlil Prime. I understand that part of your integration will be taking you off world to and from Earth, these rules primarily apply to your time here. We ask that you remain considerate of the provided rules and guidelines on the ship if you are carrying Venlil passengers. Taisa, those are the terms, conditions, compensations and requirements for your family to house a human when the two of you are present. Virtual signature of that document is required within the next 3 of your ‘paws’.” Taisa stiffened a little bit, likely thinking about her Mother’s response to my arrival; that was something we were probably going to have to have a talk about later. I had an idea for the short term, at least. I ran through the paperwork real quick and it was all pretty simple: don’t be without the visor or some kind of face covering in settings where you couldn’t guarantee that an unprepared Venlil wouldn’t see you, avoid aggression, speak quietly, no eating meat, animal products or byproducts, no hunting local wildlife; bit odd considering I didn’t even have a bow or a gun but rules are rules, I suppose.
“Sounds good to me,” I said, signing the indicated portions of the document. “When are my items supposed to get here?”
“We don’t expect your requested items to arrive for another week or so, for now you’ll have to make do with what you brought with you.” Obediah responded, shuffling the packet of papers back into the folder they had come from. “With that complete you are free to go. I understand you have training to complete, so I wish you good luck with your endeavor. If you have any questions or needs with regards to your habitation you can contact Sam, their details will be forwarded to your communication devices.”
I caught Taisa’s tail twitching as her ears swiveled nervously out of the corner of my eye; even with her attempts to push through it I think the amount of Humans around was starting to get to her. Still, she was doing better than I think a lot of Venlil would be able to manage. I reached over, gently tapping my hand against her paw, trying to ground her a little before motioning to go, she nodded slightly as she flicked her ears.
“Thank you, Obediah, we’ll be sure to get into touch with them once we get their contact. Have a good day!”
Taisa and I stood, exiting the room and making our way out of the building, stopping to look at another picture or two along the way. Something needed to be done about possibly not having a place to stay to put my, and more so Taisa’s,
mind at ease. I figured I could sleep in the shuttle, if I had to. It wouldn’t be particularly comfortable but I could certainly do it; I’d need a mat, maybe a sleeping bag or some blankets and a pillow.
I had no clue where I was going to get my hands on those, or at least a set of them big enough for me to actually use.
Then I saw the temporary units in the field near the offices. Men and Women in U.N. fatigues were milling about the area. Barracks? That could solve the problem, if they’re willing to help out a man in need, of course.
“Hey, Taisa, I need to make a stop real quick.” I state, walking briskly towards the largest of the buildings. “What’s up?” She asks, ears focused on me as she tilts her head a little.
“Well, I was thinking, I don’t think your parents, your Mom especially, won’t, uh… won’t want me around
. At least not for a little while until she gets to know me better.”
“I think you can get past it, she’s not that
bad… It’ll just be tough.”
“Oh I’m sure I can get past it, but I’d rather not just sleep in the grass in the meantime.” “I don’t think she’d make you sleep in the grass…” “I like being prepared, if she doesn’t want me in her house I’m not going to push the issue.”
“I just… I hope it doesn’t come to that, I’m not going to let her toss you outside like an animal.” She sighs quietly as we push through the front door of the barrack building.
A desk manned by a napping U.N. Marine with Private ranks stuck to his shoulders filled the space beyond the doors. He stirs as the doors clank shut behind us before scrambling to throw on his Visor as he notices Taisa.
“Hello, Uh… Can I help you? This area is for active U.N. personnel only.” He starts, his voice finding its authority only about halfway through the statement.
I stand straight, trying to muster the stern demeanor I’d found in my father and his friends so often when they tried to get something on base after their retirements. “Easy, Private. It has come to my attention that my accommodations lack proper bedding.” “O-Oh, uh, I apologize…” He stammers out, searching for something to say, likely looking to find a way out of trouble for sleeping on duty.
“Sir.” I state. “What’s your name, Private?”
“Alvarez. I’ll remember that, Alvarez, how about we make this quick, you get me a wrap of blankets, 3 pillows and a bedroll and I don’t find your commander to report your… lack of enthusiasm
The private snaps to attention before firmly stating. “Yes Sir! I’ll be right back, Sir!”
As the private turns and walks away crisply I hear Taisa whistle with laughter a little beside me. “I’m surprised that worked.”
“You’d be surprised what a hard voice, straight back and the right slacking Private can get you if you just don’t go pushin' it too far in your story.” I whispered with a wink.
After a few minutes of waiting Private Alvarez returned with a duffle bag, stuffed full with blankets and pillows, as well as an inflatable bedroll under the other arm. “Here you go, Sir. Will this be ok?” He asked, passing the items over to me.
“Perfect, thank you Private.” I took the bundle of bedding and turned to the door, before turning my head back over my shoulder, “Oh, and Private? Do try and get proper rest before duty.”
A shaking “Y-Yes, Sir.” followed Taisa and I out of the door.
The first half of the walk back to the landing field was quiet, I was scanning the skyline again, I just couldn’t get over the fact that I was on another planet
. Taisa however had her ears pinned back, her paws lightly holding her tail tuft as we walked.
“What’s got ya down?” I asked, watching the herd of Venlil glide around us as we came, trying their best not to get too close to me.
“I’m… concerned.” She sighed, the tip of her tail twitching between her paws.
“My mother, what she’ll say… What she’ll do.
“I can’t exactly say I know what her reaction’ll be… But, whatever it is we’ll just have to deal with it. It’ll probably take time, but we’ll get by.” I soothed. She let go of her tail, placing the tip of it on my back, but her ears didn’t let up at all.
The rest of the walk to the shuttle was quiet as she fidgeted with her paws, trying to take her mind off of the subject. Videk was there waiting for us, a few crates secured to the cargo area of the shuttle that weren’t present before.
“You two ready?” He asked, flicking his tail at us.
“I think so.” I responded, stowing the bedding in an empty compartment as Taisa flicked her ears.
We ran through our preflight checklist again, finding another pre-placed failure from Videk waiting for us, this time in the starboard control surfaces. Once the check was done we radioed the tower for clearance to take off and set an in-atmo course for Shadetree to drop off Videk. It was a short hop, about a half hour of flying or so before I had to call ahead for clearance to land again.
Most of the flight from the Capitol to Shadetree had been rolling turquoise and green hills or open fields of produce growing in the everpresent light. A sudden dense forest rose from the fields, thick dark brown trees with fluttering golden leaves stretched as far as the eye could see in every direction. A sudden break in the forest revealed a clearing for the Landing field, much smaller than the one at the Capitol. The city was built under the canopy of the trees, giving it a constant filtered light casting down through the shifting leaves. It was certainly a beautiful town, I’d have to come back to visit some day. Maybe once Videk had warmed up to me a little bit more.
As the ramp fell ,a small cargo truck arrived alongside the shuttle to collect Videk and his equipment. I offered to help but the Venlil driver just about ran when I started talking so I figured it was probably best to just keep out of it. Once the cargo truck departed, Taisa came back up to the cockpit, plopping down in her seat, and looked through the viewscreen at the trees beyond. The soft hiss of the ramp closing marked the finality of Videk’s departure.
“So, how are you feeling about Venlil Prime so far?” She asked, one eye on my face as I finally slipped the visor off.
“I like it! Between the beautiful scenery, interesting architecture and hanging out with you and Shamrock, here I’m having a great time!” I responded, rubbing my hand on what amounted to the shuttle's dashboard.
” She asked, her tail swaying in what I figured for amusement.
“Yea! Remember how I told you Humans like looking for patterns? Well it works on words and numbers as well. The tail number for the shuttle could be taken to spell ‘Clover-HR-EX’, or just clover for short. Clovers are a type of plant on earth that a few cultures believed to be lucky, one way or another. One of the nicknames for them was a Shamrock!”
She laughed at me.
“You are such
a dork.” She said, wiping a tear from her eye as her tail whipped back and forth. “It’s a good name, usually shuttles don’t get one. I think it fits.”
I chuckled, a thought crossing my mind. “Think we could get any shuttle-grade paint? Preferably green, yellow and black?” She raised an eyebrow at me as her ears cocked at different elevations. “Oh? Someone feeling a little artistic?”
“Well, I could always paint a Shamro-” I was interrupted as the ping signifying we were being hailed sounded off. “We’ll finish this later.” I said, pointing at her as I accepted the hail.
Videk’s voice bled through the speakers. “Ok, looks like the connection is secure. Let’s go ahead and run through getting you familiar with the software, it should be quick and easy.”
It was not.
It took two hours. After a lot of trial and error, stop and go flights to test the connection and a few near misses with an especially tall tree we had gotten the system setup such that Videk was confident it would work in an emergency if he needed to step in. With that all squared away Taisa and I settled in to get on our way to Heartwood River. Sleeping on the blow up mattress or on a real bed hardly mattered at this point, I just wanted to sleep
The overall flight time was set to be about an hour and a half, not too bad and man
was the view beautiful: rolling fields, roaring rivers, pristine skies and alien forests abounded across the countryside. We had just passed over Hidden Plains when Taisa and I were just settling back into talking about her parents and our best route to try and handle them, when the hail system chimed and immediately spat out a harsh tone without acknowledgement, the same one the simulator used for distress calls.
“Mayday Mayday Mayday. Report of shots fired at residence housing humans. Need immediate medical evac at The Berrypatch Farm in The Grove, 11 minutes Night-ward from Hidden Plains. Hailing all airborn craft, we need a medical evac immediately!”
I immediately returned the hail. “This is cargo shuttle C1-0V3R-HR-EX. Responding to Mayday from the Grove. We are en-route to render aid. Hold tight, we’ll be there.”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Taisa tighten her flight harness as I reached for the throttle.
--- First Prev.
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2023.06.09 13:21 IzanagiTheGod KOTOR 1 Fan’s First Time With KOTOR 2 (Review)
The first game is one of my favorite games for the majority of my life. The first time I beat it I was so young that my dumbass ran in circles throwing grenades at Malak since spamming flurry level 1 wasn’t cutting it (I just really liked the whoosh noises).
I give it a playthrough every 2 years or so and always have a blast, and now that I saw it was on switch alongside the sequel, I decided to try KOTOR 2 after doing a force only run with like 8 strength in KOTOR 1.
For variety’s sake (and a fear of soft locking myself due to the first game’s difficulty at times) I went full meat-head-muscle-guy-hit-stuff guardian with 16 or so strength. The beginning of the game was quite slow and I understand why as a teenager I could never get further than Telos.
I love world building as much as the next nerd but my lord the amount of log recordings and depth perceptionally challenged mining droids I had to wack while wearing tight fallout cosplay was definitely getting old after a couple hours. The majority of it is spent uncovering a sabotage conspiracy involving evil droids and miners trying to sell a wizard to the mafia, which isn’t particularly relevant aside from a set up of everyone trying to kidnap you and that the red lightsaber fellas are back once again. Too long for what it accomplishes.
Finally off that space hell and we’re dropped into Telos. I enjoyed the character interactions with everyone trying to bribe you alongside relaxing in a cantina and doing the mini games. Czerka starts off with logic but (as I found most themes in this game) end up being absurdly mustache twirling while spouting about making space walmart great again. So unless you just really hate plants you side with the other boys and eventually get shot onto the actual planet and meet Bao, who’s a great wingman to have around despite me having to crank up my volume when he speaks.
At this point I’m really loving the combat, it had a good sense of challenge and my team had nice variety once Bao showed up to do more skill monkey actions, since my exile smashed everything they touched. Not much more to say except meeting Atris briefly, who’s main personality trait is attitude. After telling her I don’t really care I was exiled and that my more pressing matter is being shot at, she begrudgingly let me leave while longingly staring at my behind.
Here the game opens more and I’ll give my thoughts more broadly. Our new thong toting albino handmaiden joins mister manslaughter Atton and myself on Dantooine, a very enjoyable planet with good fights and fun side quests that don’t derail the main goal too much. The politics are simple and brief with both sides being the ol’ good and evil. Unfortunately we’re blessed with the douchebag Jedi who is impressively able to contradict his own values every time he opens his mouth. “You saved me from this cage you damn idiot now they’re going to attack the settlements all because of you. Me being in this cage would have saved the day! You should’ve known!”. Yeah sounds like a needlessly risky plan that involves leaving the defenders completely out of the loop and pretending to know what these murderers are thinking, let’s not do that. He’s the most comical example of “jedi bad I wanna sit and think” and the game isn’t particularly subtle about it.
Regardless we move on as I’m ambushed by a toothless submissive in my ship that I promptly one shot. She then falls in love with me. As one does.
With my harem of submissives at the ready I leave the wizard choker Atton in the cockpit for the rest of the game and move on to the planet of crime Nar Shadaar, and begin to become very distracted by how every female can’t stop talking about how hot I am. Even the damn assassins are down bad.
I find this planet to be the most fun part of the game for me with a good blend of politics, exploration, combat, and overall atmosphere. It felt very “star ears underworld” like I remember from the old EU novels. Mira joins the crew as a bad bitch no nonsense bounty hunter who makes god awful decisions, firmly securing her place in my party for the rest of the game despite her asmr voice forcing my tinnitus ass to read the subtitles.
It’s of note that I built my lightsaber after Dantooine and essentially one shot everything in the game with force speed and flurry, with Brianna also hitting like a truck while the third member buffs/shoots. I love that the guns are far more valid in this game and Mira felt great to use as the party leader due to her high skills and ignoring mines, while my other two members force jumped into battles. This lasted the entire game and made the combat far less engaging however, as it was a rinse and repeat of extremely fast battles, where I two shotted Sion on Korriban before Kreia told me to piss off.
I disliked Onderon and it brought the game down quite a bit for me, due to its politics undermining the writing focus of the game, which I’ll get into here to finish off my review.
This games writing is pretty damn good. The biggest thing that made me sad while playing was that I couldn’t bring all my party members with me at all times as I thought each one was super engaging. Unfortunately in a regular blind playthrough you miss A LOT due to the influence system blue balling some extremely well written dialogue. This hit the hardest with Kreia in my playthrough, which is a shame as I knew she was the one with the best acted/written lines. With the dialogue I did receive however, I can definitely see what they were going for but I don’t find it remotely as thought provoking as the game’s reputation would have you think. Kreia “teaches” you some conceptually interesting ideas, but they end up being hypocritical in their own sense and at the end of the day she really is just spiteful about her failures along with everyone else’s.
You gave that man 5 dollars, now you’ve effectively made him a target to others where he wouldn’t otherwise be one, making his life considerably worse due to your quick and simple act of kindness. This is certainly thought provoking, but for kind of idiotic reasons. Can an individual even rise up and better their lives without given the chance to do so? Should all be cast into poverty and homelessness without aid as they are too weak to fully pull themselves up in a selfish society? This is some metal gear rising senator armstrong “strong eat the weak” shit and here’s it’s being compared to the force.
She claims I’m only as strong as I am due to the unfortunate circumstances of being hunted, but I was born with a gift and kidnapped from birth to be a fighter, unlike this beggar in the slums. That lesson is essentially the “challenge breeds excellence” poster that was in your elementary school classroom and it cannot be applied to all situations/people accurately due to several varying circumstances. This is decent stuff honestly when not taken at face value, as it can be interpreted that Kreia is just wrong, so I disagreed with her but also told her that I saw value in what she was trying to teach me then. I suppose the main criticism I have with her writing is she’s VERY blatantly evil, which ended up being a distraction to me instead of being a fresh look at the force.
Then comes Onderon. Every dispute in this game is insanely obvious who the good/bad guys are, with the latter typically trying to murder babies to achieve their goals. Then I land on this planet and see desperate families begging on the street to be allowed to leave, a man being held in custody with no evidence about to be executed as the authorities are too lazy, and the sworn beast rider enemies of the city casually attempting to murder people inside its own walls due to some dumbass blood truce.
This queen sucks ass honestly, and this civil unrest and negligence wouldn’t last another 6 months. Then the other side shows up, a bunch of fascists going for a power grab when the republic is recovering from a war effort, claiming its due to war mongering when they’d obviously all be dead if they werent protected from the mandalorians. So they suck ass too. And I decide to not get too involved as the entire game has a “I don’t really care, I’m not a Jedi anymore and I’m trying to learn more about myself and defeat the Sith that hunt me” option for the vast majority of dialogue.
I decide to take Kreia’s lesson to heart and don’t decline Tobin’s offer in the cantina, as I wanted to see both sides of the conflict in full before making a decision instead of just the “good guy” option as that could have irresponsible consequences, as she said. It’s a shame that once I agreed to help them by saying I really only wanted to speak to the Jedi master, my exile suddenly gained a thirst for genocide and was commited to become a terrorist without giving me the option of informing the queen of the attack this dipshit just briefed me on.
And thus I spent the next hour or so being called a Sith as I helplessly murdered the entire queen’s army without a single moment that lets me say “I didn’t agree to be the damn general of your terrorist regime”. I’m forced to kill the Jedi master as all the options say “muwhaha my revenge at last”, and all the other Jedi at Dantooine I had pleasant conversations with in the past decide my trial of life has expired. Then Kreia, who called me a failure the entire game for not doing the selfish choices, then calls me a failure for selfishly taking revenge.
The worst part about this situation? I literally pulled the exact same tactic earlier in the SAME game. When the invaders at Dantooine asked me to help them, I agreed so they’d tell me their plan then immediately snitched to the settlers and set up a defense with this information. Brianne wasn’t happy with this method but tough, it’s called using your brain and saving little baby lives. But here it’s bafflingly not an option and it really hurt my overall experience of this game, changing my ending which all in all seems rushed/unfinished as well, which is truly a real shame once you learn of its forced early release.
Those of you who know the game very well may find this critique my own fault, and I’ll certainly take a degree of blame for it, but it left a bad taste overall. Despite that, the story in general was such a great time with realistic portrayals of rebuilding in post-war time, and ptsd affecting multiple people differently. I don’t regret playing it and while I do prefer the first game slightly I do look forward to a dark side playthrough one day in the future, as the vast majority of the game really improved on the overall flow that the first had established, despite some pacing issues here and there.
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2023.06.09 13:00 superkilometerfilter What Is Good Mileage On A Used Car?
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Knowing what is good mileage on a used car is a principal question that many people ask. Whether you are considering either to sell or to buy a used automobile, it is crucial to know what is good mileage on a car. Multiple factors influence the overall distance traveled by your automobile. However, it is not the sole factor that you can use to determine the condition of your car.
IS MILEAGE SO IMPORTANT?
Whether The mileage is an important factor for determining the condition of the vehicle will always be debatable. Car producers always provide data that states how many miles will your automobile last. Does this mean that it is truly the main determinant criterion to access the condition of an automobile? Not really, as some car makers exaggerate not only mileage but also all the other performance stats.
If you look at two different cases of vehicle owners, you will notice that despite the similar mileage their cars can be in thoroughly different conditions. For instance, if one person uses an automobile on a daily basis to get to work in the city and takes good care of it, it is highly likely that the car will have a long lifespan.
However, if another person recently bought the same automobile but uses it for racing and does not take good care of it, it might have half-life expectancy than the car from the previous example. The mileage is simply the indicator of the number of miles you have driven. However, it’s not only the number of miles that you have to take into consideration but also how you cover this distance.
Besides mileage, there are many crucial factors that affect the life expectancy of your car. For instance, driving habits, frequency of maintenance, weather conditions, road system, and many other factors will determine whether a car is in optimal condition or not.
WHAT FACTORS INFLUENCE THE MILEAGE OF THE CAR?
As you have seen, many factors influence the condition of the car. However, the mileage is still a vital criterion as it is used to access the life expectancy of an automobile by the buyers. This is why so many people seek to find out what is good mileage on a car. Similarly, Insurance companies use this factor to determine the payments that you have to make annually. Hence, it is vital to know what affects this seemingly useless indicator and how to keep it at a reasonable level.
In order to know what is good mileage on a used car, it is essential to know the factors that will affect it. These factors are also essential to determine what good mileage on a car in general. The main factors that influence the mileage of the automobile are location, age, gender, income level, lifestyle, cultural traits, etc.
If you are one of those individuals who has to drive each day to work long distance you will know the importance of this factor. Such people tend to travel more than average (13,476 Miles / 21688 Km) and reach the expected life expectancy of their car sooner than average drivers.
As it appears the driving habits are noticeably different when we use age as a determinant factor. Based on Federal Highway Administration of the US, the drivers between 20-54 are more prone to long-distance traveling as they drive around 15,000 miles (24,000 Km) per year that is almost twice more than the drivers from other age groups (see table 1).
Gender also has a significant impact on driving habits. The male drivers seem to be more prone to driving long distances. According to the Federal Highway Administration of the US on average male drivers cover around 60% more distance than female drivers (see table 1).
Income Level Parkinson’s Law
suggests that more we make more we spend. This rule applies to the mileage as well. Our income highly influences our behavior when we consider different methods of transportation. For instance, high-income makes us more willing to use our car for transportation on a daily basis even for significantly longer distances. On the other hand, if the income doesn’t allow us such luxury, we are more likely to use public transport.
Consider two different individuals. One person who admires traveling and covers long distances with an automobile each month and another person who lives close to work and uses car once in a while. You may have guessed that the mileage of these two cars will be significantly different. This example indicates the role of the lifestyle while determining the mileage of the automobile.
The culture that we are born in influences our character and lifestyle in general. For instance, in the Netherlands people use cars solely for certain situations and prefer bicycles for everyday life. On the other hand, In the US many towns are situated close to megalopolises and automobiles are the main method of transportation. Citizens of this towns will have to use an automobile on a daily basis if they work in the megalopolises.
The purpose of the car
Every automobile has its own purpose in the family especially when there are many families with more than one car. It is difficult to find an automobile that will offer all the advantages at once. Therefore, the purpose might vary from family transportation to speedy driving. Similarly, sometimes the car might even have several owners in the family that will significantly affect the mileage.
WHAT IS THE AVERAGE YEARLY MILEAGE?
In order to determine what is good mileage on a used car, it is vital to know the average distance that we can use as a baseline. The average mileage
around the world is 12,400 miles (20,000 Km) per year. However, these statistics differ depending on the country. For instance, as indicated in the table above, the average distance traveled in the US is 13,476 miles (21,688 Km).
Usually the appropriate department of each country states these statistics specifically for their country. Therefore, you can always check the relevant website that will provide the most up-to-date data for your country.
THE CARMAKERS WITH THE HIGHEST REPORTED LIFE SPANS
To understand what is good mileage on a used car it is vital to know the differences among the carmakers. The mileage is an important differentiating factor that automobile producers state when they introduce a new model. Despite the complex nature of a car’s life expectancy, the mileage still represents the decisive factor for car buyers.
To determine the life span of different automobile makers we cannot simply rely on the statistics that they provide. Most of the time they tend to overstate such characteristics to boost the sales in the short-term, hoping that after 10 years of car exploitation the owners will not be able to recall the misleading characteristics. Here are automobile manufacturers that truly meet or exceed the expectations and have proven to have superior life expectancy:
- Toyota: Automobiles of this amazing car maker can sometimes exceed 250,000 miles (400,000 Km);
- Mazda: Can go up to 200,000 miles (320,000 Km);
- Ford: Even though Ford has a noticeable place in this list, it only applies to trucks and SUVs models;
- Chevrolet: Similarly to Ford, long-lasting nature applies to trucks and SUVs only;
HOW MANY MILES IS TOO MANY?
Let’s look at the limit that you have to keep in mind when buying a used car. Imagine buying a used automobile that you have to keep under maintenance each month. This is quite common when a car has already reached its limits. Therefore, it is crucial to know the margin of the automobile’s life span that you have to observe.
150,000 miles (241,000 Km) is a limit that applies to most of the carmakers. The most vital takeaway is to keep the expected life expectancy of your car model in mind. Let’s look at the example that will show the importance of this criterion when you make a buying decision. However, as we have seen in most cases it can be irrelevant figure.
Let’s take the example of the US. if you buy 10 years old average Toyota car in the US, it will have mileage around 130,000 miles (217,000 Km). As we have mentioned Toyota Automobiles can go up to and even exceed 250,000 miles (402,000 Km). Hence, you will be left with 120,000 miles (185,000 Km) driving that also means almost 9 years of life span.
On the other hand, there are a plethora of cars that cannot go up to 100,000 miles. Therefore, buying such automobiles with the mileage as low as 70,000 miles will mean around 2 years of life span left.
WHAT IS GOOD MILEAGE ON A USED CAR? Any mileage below 110,000 miles is a reasonable mileage
that you would not like to exceed when purchasing a used automobile. As you have seen there are many factors that you have to consider while determining the lifespan of your car or a car that you intend to buy. However, as we have discussed in the previous paragraph, some automobiles cannot even last more than 100,000 miles. It is essential to make in-depth research before you decide to consider any offers.
If you intend to buy second-hand automobile firstly use the optimal mileage suggestions that we provided to find the most reasonable options. Secondly, look for reviews online related to the longevity of those cars. I would not suggest relying solely on the statistics that manufacturers state on the official websites.
This information will be enough to estimate the remaining life expectancy of the automobile in terms of mileage. Simply devide this number by the average yearly mileage (12,400 Miles worldwide, 13,476 Miles in the US) and you will get the approximate number of years that the car will serve you. For more precise results you can take into account your driving habits or usage data from experience and determine your average early mileage.
Don’t expect to get the precise assumptions. Whether the previous owner took good care of the car or not will highly impact these presumptions. There is always a risk when you buy a second-hand automobile.
Keep your car’s mileage reasonable
If you would like to sell your second-hand car or just keep your car mileage reasonable you have to make sure that the health of your automobile is in optimal condition. Even though it might even be a useless indicator in certain cases, you may find it problematic to sell an automobile with high mileage. Therefore, it is essential to keep it at a reasonable level.
If you find this step unnecessary you may have to think again. It will also help your automobile last longer as wear and tear significantly affects the condition of the car. Even if you don’t consider selling your automobile in the near future, avoiding unnecessary journeys with your car will save you time and money required for its annual maintenance.
HOW TO AVOID MISLEADING MILEAGE DATA?
As you have already seen the mileage of your car is an important characteristic that you have to be cautious about. However, sometimes this data might be misleading if your automobile is not functioning as it has to. For instance, even the slightest changes in the tire size can significantly affect the mileage in the long run.
The mileage is calculated by multiplying the number of wheel rotations on the circumference of the wheel that came with an original automobile. Any changes to the size of the tire to enhance the appearance of your car or even wear and tear will affect the mileage that will be recorded in the memory of your automobile.
To solve this issue, you can always be proactive and make sure your tires are of optimal size. It would be almost impossible to prove buyers of your second-hand car that the mileage is significantly exaggerated.
HOW TO TEST THE PERFORMANCE OF YOUR CAR?
How to check the performance of the car if mileage is so useless indicator? The best way to check your automobile’s performance is to find an optimal testing environment and compare this data with the performance statistics provided by the manufacturer. However, you would like to avoid recording unnecessary mileage that will even worsen these stats.
You can purchase a premium-quality Mileage Stopper, install it on your own in less than half-hour, and test the performance of your car. This module is useful for multiple purposes and you can always find good use for it later.
Now you have all the information that you might need to determine what is good mileage on a used car. Multiple factors affect the performance of the automobile. However, the mileage is used to portray the whole picture of your automobile’s condition. Calculating the optimal amount of distance traveled by the used automobile is not as easy as it might seem. Many underlying factors influence the overall life expectancy and you have to make required assumptions.
2023.06.09 12:08 AimA3 I cannot comprehend the stupidity
So Adriel last couple lives I have not been able to keep my mouth shut and have commented and gotten blocked repeatedly. She has no concept of how the world works nor does she understand people at all. She think Bus stupid stuff is such a big deal for saying bless you when someone sneezes walking by the neighbors fighting because someone cheated laughed her ass off about it but what has really boggled my mind is that two young men in a truck drove by saw someone on a porch, so they hoot and hollered And she has turned it into a scary mystery and been on live for hours and hours dissecting every inch of her camera. This idiot should not be allowed to video record. She has no common sense no logic and no idea what is normal because her behavior is so abnormal. the fact that she keeps sharing personal screenshot of conversation is illegal somehow someway somewhere I promise you
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2023.06.09 10:03 jacqueifer Seventh Heaven - How I Finally Passed the Dubai RTA Test (Parking + Road) - A Few Tips, Tricks and Myths I Learned The Hard Way
Learning to drive - something perhaps I should have done at 18 (ample time but no car or money to learn) and at now at 36 you have the money to learn but no time. Like most working professionals in Dubai, our jobs are demanding so carving time out to learn needs to be well planned and fruitful.
If this post could do anything, I hope you can learn from my mistakes, so here goes:
Failures Driving Test Failures
- Picking Finance If you are a new driver (having never driven back home either) - take the unlimited/contract option with your driving school. It will cost nearly double the normal package but is worth it because you don't have the financial stress of paying more if you fail - I didn't think it would be this difficult to pass and I was wrong. In Dubai you need to complete 40 hours to take the test (split between parking and on road), for a new new driver this is simply not enough hours to build confidence (this is why you hear of so many stories of people repeating the test - in particular new drivers). To compare, in a Melbourne, Australia the minimum hours needed is 120.
- Picking a Driving Institution, pick wisely. Most people review the online comments to gauge how good a school is. The tip here is to talk to friends, family or colleagues that have passed out a particular branch/location. The opinion of the brands (EDI, DDC, Belhasa, Galadari) vary among people and I didn't find it an accurate measure but the branch is more important. I used Dubai Driving Institute in Al Quoz. Nice range of instructors but the location is a challenge. I will explain later in the post.
- Selecting a Driving Instructor in most cases you will be assigned a driving instructor. As a first time driver, you aren't going to know if your instructor is good or bad. What you should ask yourself after the four classes is - does this person spend a lot of time on their phone? Does this person stop my mistakes or does this person teach me how to do it correctly? The latter is more important. If you aren't learning, request for a change and don't be worried about what people will think - you are paying to be thought.
- Driving Institution Location - this is an important factor in where you learn to drive. Al Quoz is an industrial area filled with large trucks, commercial buses, vehicles and in general traffic at all times. To add to this you have drivers who aren't as courteous, will cut, will not signal, you have pedestrians crossing at undesignated areas, road cleaners and people moving on the wrong side of the road with their little scooters, cycles and mopeds. As a learning area, it reminds one a little of driving in India / Egypt. For a first time driver, perhaps there are easier routes to train in like the Dry Docks or DIP.
- Passing the Theory Test - really straight forward, complete the course and practice the mock exams theory + video scenario. There are a pool of about 300 odd questions, from which you get 40 (35 theory + 5 video scenarios) on your RTA exam. Only when you can consistently secure 90% plus on the mock exams, you should attempt the RTA Theory Test.
- Passing the Parking Test - the first tip is to practice this in the location you are doing the test. I practiced it at the Al Quoz Branch but did the test at the Al Khail branch - the reason behind this is the automated testing facility is here and you need to familiarize yourself with the automated vehicle. The second tip, which I learned from one of the senior trainers is - parking is mathematics, if you get the basics right you'll be able to park consistently. Watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTeIdxINoO8&t=524s it will greatly benefit you. I passed the hill park, emergency breaking, parallel parking and angle parking on the first go. Failing only garage because I have a problem with the method from the training school.
- Garage Parking - at the school, they train you to use the sticker indication on the rear passenger window which is bonkers (its apparently a trick to help students pass you can see this in 12:06 of the video shared above). The challenge with this method is depending on your height, seat location, backrest location or whether you wear glasses all affect the angle. For the longest time I couldn't crack this as I kept getting or failing by small margins. The easiest way to pass this is to angle the car in and readjust it in front of you (the RTA allows you to do this in the test) before parking. Again here only attempt the parking when you have cleared the internal mock tests.
- RTA Myth - they have a quota of people to fail everyday, this is not true - you can either drive or not it's that simple.
- RTA Instructors - have different temperaments, if you are nervous it will reflect when you drive and they can pick up on that. Test when only when confident.
- Mental Pressure - it took me seven attempts, I remember distinctly when I failed the third time, I wanted to give up. Instead I reframed my thinking to accept that failing the test simply meant the RTA was keeping me safe by telling me I didn't have sufficient knowledge to be on the road. The second change I made was to stop comparing myself and telling people about my test - failing stopped becoming a burden.
- all my failures where down to one key thing - situational awareness
. I was thought what to do on the road but not how to think on the road
. This his impacted my decision making/confidence. You can only gain situational awareness when you have been on the road long enough and hence why I would encourage new drivers to get at least 60 to 80
hours before they take the test. Most people won't talk about their failures, I will tell you about mine with the hope you can learn from it.
- Failure 1 - attempted to cross the T junction without sufficient gap (I couldn't assess distance vs speed). What I should have done is let the speeding car pass and then cross.
- Failure 2 - this is the only one I was unhappy with the judgement. I waited 'too long' to move into a lane to overtake, I was told during the test I was failing because I will cause a traffic jam. All I wanted was a clear road to be able to safely take the car. Debatable.
- Failure 3 - turned into the second lane instead of the third lane at the U-turn. Correct thing to have done would have been to turn into the third lane.
- Failure 4 - attempted to merge on to a road without sufficient gap. I was thought to take the gap, the correct thing for a driving school car to do is to wait for a clear road where there is not debate on the distance x speed.
- Failure 5 - there was a cleaner on the road at the before signal turn (this happened in the afternoon), I slowed down and moved to the left but the correct thing to have done was slow down, blow horn, indicate to move to the left (even though the line is being cut).
- Failure 6 - I made an assumption that a taxi to my left would wait/allow me to pass but he was in a hurry and entered the round about a second before I could. I should have just waited, allowed him to pass.
Through all my tests - vehicle control, lane changes and general observance of rules was good. The lack of situational awareness cost me, especially judging distance x speed. Tips to Pass the Test
Besides the normal things, here's ten things I wish I knew before I started:
- You are likely to test in a Nissan Sunny, the steering wheel has a notch below it to adjust it. Adjust it to the top most position position, this will build familiarity in your mind and the position is always the same. An internal examiner showed me this - after five months.
- Build a routine when you get into the car - adjust seat, adjust mirrors, then seat belt, then check for passenger seat belts. This routine becomes habit and habit will give you confidence.
- When you drive, check your rear view mirror every 5-8 seconds. Improves situational awareness.
- If you turn anywhere, just indicate. Make it a habit.
- In Al Quoz, indicate about 10 meters before the turn as there are lots of little garages/shops and drivers behind might think you are going there instead.
- Assume everyone on the road is unpredictable, it will train you to be a better defensive driver.
- If you are testing in Al Quoz, I recommend to test in the morning.
- Examiners are there to test basics and observe your understanding of the road. They're never going to ask you to try a lane change when the situation doesn't permit - what they will check is your judgement of the situation.
- Don't compare yourself to others.
- The vehicle on the left has priority.
- If you finish your internal classes, test within three days.
- Know where your pedestrian crossings are. Pedestrians in Al Quoz take this space for granted.
- If you are in the left lane at a pedestrian crossing, you are expected to indicate and cross at the right - the examiner won't ask you but its expected (have seen people on the test fail for this).
- If you happen to fail, try and book classes to learn immediately - don't be dejected or give up, everyone goes through it. The quicker you learn, the quicker you are able to test again. The momentum of wanting to learn and taking the test is what will drive you.
- At a round about, learn to exit and enter from every direction. Have seen other test members in the car who are so used to doing one thing, they forget when the examiner takes them to a new route.
- Know your area you are testing in - you'll be able to anticipate the roads you are connecting and the environment before you get there.
- If testing Al Quoz, use your horn - trust me you'll need it.
- Learn to start the car (most cars are already started when you enter). Occasionally if you go first, you might be asked to start the car.
- If you're asked to lane change, don't forget to check your blind spot.
- On the day of the test, arrive a minimum 30 minutes early and say a small prayer - both of these will soothe you.
- Given how busy Al Quoz is, some of the Stop lines have faded or are covered with dust, don't let this fool you - know these spots, look for the boards and stop.
- If you don't have the confidence, don't test.
- Assuming you have practiced 80 hours thats a total of 4,800 minutes, your test is 10 minutes - you got this.
- Always remember, the RTA is out to keep you safe. If they fail you, they are saving you.
- Unlike the Parking Test where there are 5 things you are tested on, there's not menu of items you have for the Driving Test but here's the top 5 things you definitely need to know: Situational Awareness, Lane Change, U-Turns into 2 & 3 lanes, Merging, Entering/Exiting Roundabouts
Finally, seventh heaven - aced the test on this attempt. Unlike before I was confident and calm
. I arrived early, said a small prayer, did the same routine I always do when I enter the car, drove confidently - on the day had to enteexit a round about, do a u-turn, a couple of t-junctions and lane change twice - entire thing lasted ten minutes.
If you have found this post it's probably either you have failed and you are looking for some hope and guidance, I hope the above is of some use to you. To conclude, you need two key things going into the test experience and confidence. Experience comes from repetition, repetition builds confidence.
All the best.
submitted by jacqueifer
to dubai [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 09:16 TheShadowspawn Chapter Fifty-Three - Abduction
Human Dave wakes up on the ground; his head throbbing and bleeding from the cut on the side.
Human Dave, groggily: "Ugh. Did someone get the license plate of that truck?"
Human Dave scans his surroundings and finds them unfamiliar.
A small metal room painted grey, and a grate far above him, allowing light to stream into the room; not much, but just enough to show the walls and floor.
Human Dave finds himself without clothes, but without anyone around, he makes no attempt at hiding his body.
Human Dave tries to access his implant, but finds it somehow deactivated. Disabled of all functions except for basic translation protocols and emergency recording functions.
HD: "The Hell? How is that even possible?"
Human Dave keeps looking around, taking in his surroundings, and looking for any weak points or possible escape routes.
Finding nothing, Human Dave tries the first thing humans do in such situations.
His laughter echoes throughout the room; bouncing off the walls and going up through the grate.
Human Dave notes that the walls and floor are solid metal; thick enough to withstand any attempts at breaking through physical means.
A loud 'CLANG'
interrupts his assessment of his new living conditions as a voice calls down from above.
Unknown Voice: "BE SILENT!"
HD: "I won't, and you can't make me!"
Another voice speaks loudly enough for Human Dave to hear, but it sounds as though it it speaking to the other person.
Unknown Voice 2: "He will be silent soon enough. Prepare the arena!"
Clanging footfalls sound out as the two figures walk off, and Human Dave has a moment to register what he has heard.
HD: "Arena? Have I been kidnapped? No, wait. I've been abducted!"
Human Dave begins to laugh uncontrollably at the irony of his situation and tries to recall the circumstances that led to his current predicament.
Alien Captain: "Human Dave, what is the hold-up?"
HD: "Well, Captain, this dock worker has been interrupting my attempts at unloading the cargo to ask me questions."
AC: "I see. Well, I fear we must hurry. We have received another client, and they have requested we make haste."
Alien Dock Worker: "You must understand my confusion. I have never seen an Alora capable of communicating with anyone before."
HD: "And I keep on telling you, I'm not an Alora! I'm a human! You know, very new species to the Galactic Community? Currently in an alliance with the Keltiss? Category X deathworlder? Do none of these words mean anything to you?"
ADW: "Ah, so the Alora are capable of exaggeration. Who would have known? And with a thieving Cradelian, no less. I have half a mind to detain both of you on suspicion of theft of cargo."
HD: "And here, Captain, is a shining example of just how stupid a speciesist can be. No care for anyone or anything other than the size of his non-existent reproductive organs."
ADW: "Some random primitive monkey dares to insult -"
Alien Dock Master: "What is going on here?"
ADW: "I am detaining this thief and his pet Alora from stealing cargo, Dock Master."
AC: "Dock Master, we are offloading cargo, and your dock worker is obstructing us from doing so."
ADM: "Ah, Captain. I trust you have been well since last we spoke?"
AC: "Quite, Dock Master. But your worker is spreading lies and throwing accusations at us for simply existing."
ADW: "It's just some thieving Cradelian! They are always up to no good!"
The Dock Master glares at the Dock Worker, and says something to him fast enough that the universal translator cannot decipher it.
The dock worker stalks off muttering to himself.
ADM: "I apologise for his misconduct, Captain. I have received many complaints in regards to his behaviour, and reprimanding him has little to no effect."
HD: "You might want to consider something a bit more... meaningful. Maybe something with lasting consequences?"
ADM: "I fear I will have to, soon enough. Regardless, I shall not keep you from performing your duties, Captain."
AC: "I thank you, Dock Master. Just a few more crates, and we shall be on our way."
Human Dave becomes confused by this point, as his memories abruptly cut off from this point.
HD: "Huh? Is that it? Why don't I remember anything else?"
Human Dave strains his mind, trying to remember what happened next, but comes up short.
The silence within the room is deafening to Human Dave, so he starts humming to himself.
Not loud enough for anyone above to hear him, but loud enough that it breaks the monotony of being detained like some dangerous beast.
He isn't left waiting for too long, as a voice calls down to him.
Unknown Voice: "Lay on back!"
HD: "... what?"
UV: "LAY ON BACK!"
Human Dave complies, if only to take advantage of it as a means of escape once the voice comes to get him.
There is a shuddering sensation, as what was a wall now registers as the floor, and Human Dave slides down and crashes into what is now the floor.
Human Dave would assume that there was some form of artificial gravity manipulation utilised to keep him where he was, but had fallen partly on his head, and had no intention of focusing on anything other than the pain that had been added to his already throbbing head.
Rough, clawed hands grab Human Dave by the arms and drag him from the room. Through hallways and corridors, while Human Dave does nothing but clutch at his head, unable to focus on where he was being taken.
The clawed hands drop Human Dave harshly on the ground of a darkened antechamber, where a creature sits, glaring at the one who brought Human Dave.
Unknown Creature: "... you were supposed to bring it here unharmed!"
UV: "You said bring here; I bring here. Now, my payment!"
UC: "No payment until it earns it back!"
UV: "YOU DARE CHEAT ME?!
UC: "I CHEAT NO ONE! IT FIGHTS, AND EARNS! YOU GET PAID IF AND WHEN IT WINS!"
UV: "THAT NOT DEAL!"
UC: "THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE DEAL! YOU BROUGHT IT HERE!"
UV: "TO GET PAID!"
UC: "THIS IS NOT A CHARITY! YOU WANT YOUR MONEY, IT WILL FIGHT FOR IT! RIGHT NOW, IT IS WORTHLESS! NOT WORTH BUYING FROM YOU! WHEN IT FIGHTS AND WINS, THEN I BUY! NOT BEFORE, ONLY AFTER!"
The two figures glare at each other before the first relents.
UV: "You fight and win. I get paid."
Human Dave slowly lets go of his head and glares at both figures in the darkness.
HD: "Like Hell I will. Go fight for your own money!"
UV: "YOU FIGHT NOW OR DIE!"
HD: "Then go ahead and kill me. You'll still be without a fighter!"
The Unknown Creature makes a rasping sound, which very vaguely resembles laughter.
UC: "This one has spirit! I will buy it once it has won a battle!"
Human Dave glares at the silhouette of the Unknown Creature, thinking about how he could still escape from his captors, and also wondering about where Captain and everyone else was.
Meaty scale-covered hands grab at Human Dave while he is thinking, and drag him away from the unknown pair.
HD, thinking: "Where am I going now?" First Previous
submitted by TheShadowspawn
to u/TheShadowspawn [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 08:45 tooprolix Neighbour wants to convert/rebuild shed as bedroom for family member
This is in England.
- My semi-detached neighbour owns a ground floor flat with a garden, within which there is a shed.
- They intend to convert or replace that shed so a member of their household can sleep there.
- They have an easement allowing access through my garden, and intend to use that as an access route for their family member.
- I suspect they won't plumb the building, with the family member using the main flat facilities, but it will be used as the family member's living quarters and place to sleep.
- They indicated they are looking to start the work this summer.
Are they allowed to do this? Does it require planning permission (there is no application at present)? I tried googling and it indicated that "dwellings" need planning permission - what constitutes a dwelling?
submitted by tooprolix
to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 08:43 Jagdges I ran a mechanized infantry squad, here were my results
A few days ago on Goro I made an infantry squad with just a typical 6x6 truck. Only a quarter of our armored assets were even crewed with seconds to go, so I let my guys take a BMP2. Our opposition were militia forces. I wanted to share my results and maybe get some feedback, see what other people think. I will keep it short. ish.
First point logi and I went south with squad in tow. BMP2 initially did not support us, but our platoon on north side of attack. He was able to secure north flank on first point (Fruit Farm) early while our infantry pushed from west.
At second point, I loaded all troops into the BMP. We advanced to a point about 350 meters northwest of the point (Shipping Yard), set a rally, and pressed forward. We were early and able to push hard quickly, and not allow the enemy to reinforce in place. This gave us a lot of anti-infantry and also anti-vehicle firepower that an infantry squad does not normally have, and allowed the infantry to be sustained off his supply. The squad was heavily damaged by the end of capping Shipping Yard, but we were able to bounce back quickly with a BTR, which was left uncrewed at main.
We were defeated with the rest of the platoon en route to third point River Fort when a mine disabled our vehicle and crippled our momentum. Our platoon failed to take River Fort by siege.
I feel as though this setup has a lot of firepower, and between riflemen and the vehicles supply, the squad can sustain medical, ammunition, rockets and grenades for quite a time, and we used this to good effect in game for the first two points. Rallies are insufficient for sustained spawning but being so mobile, having one a safe distance is easier to do.
submitted by Jagdges
to joinsquad [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 06:32 StringfellowHawkes The cruelest of dreams
For the past 6 years or so, I have had one dream. I remember it well as it is the only one I have. It always proceeds the same way. The ending may change slightly, as well as the setting, but it is always the same. Today however, I had a different one. The cruelest of dreams.
You see, I look forward to that same dreary and desolate place my mind would find every night after consciousness finally leaves me so very much. It is simple and will not take long to describe.
I walk. That is all I do. I walk in fields of freshly bloomed flowers. I walk on the warm sand. I walk on a plain of white. I walk in the dark with nothing but the light from far away stars. I walk as everything blurs around me. I walk while all else is still. I walk in silence. I walk with a barely audible murmur. I walk over the softest fabric. I walk over ancient rock. I walk to wonders. I walk past history, past the now, toward whatever each step is leading to in the future. I walk clothed. I walk naked. I walk and I feel the air brush by me with a caress. I walk and feel nothing. I walk through storms. I walk through wars. I walk past births. I walk past deaths. I walk through memories. I walk alone though. Always. And all I feel is happiness, joy, peace, freedom. And whole.
The ending comes one of a few ways. I just stop and the dream ends. Consciousness returns as does the pain. Or, suddenly there is a mirror appearing in front of me. My own visage howling and cackling with the most evil of laughs. Then my doppelganger suddenly stops his taunt and smiles. The consciousness returns as does the pain. There are a few others but I won’t subject you to those.
And so the day begins. A blur like my dream. Only now the happiness and freedom have gone. Now it is just the pain that rules my reality. I cannot hide from it. Cannot stop it. It blinds me. I can dull it briefly sometimes but it always returns. As it always will, every second in my reality, until the day my heart stops and my brain dies. The pain is the last thing I will feel in that instant. And each day it gets worse.
As in my dream I just walk. From here to there. From there to here. Walking to do this thing I must in a world I wish to escape for that one reason. Walking so someone else doesn’t have to. It is what we all do. We all take each step with some type of pain, somewhere. I go through my day in a fog. Every movement brings more pain. And with each step the weight presses down harder. Tiring me to the point that I start to look forward to when my body gives up and I am back in my dream.
So it was last night as I made that unaware transition from one reality to another. In that semi-conscious fugue between awake and asleep, I think I smiled as I usually do knowing what I may get to experience.
I was myself but at a different time and place. That immediate urge to start walking and get to those feelings I usually have was not there. I was in a world my mind had put together that I was familiar but it was different. It was concentrated. I could see my pasts. So many of them. I could see them so clearly. Not as some vaguely obscure thing I would usually see as I began my walk. Or as I walked past. Not this time. All connected. As if a tour had been arranged for only me.
It wasn’t just the places that were clear. The faces. I actually could see their faces. Friends, family, loves. They weren’t smudges on a camera lens here. They were laughing, talking, living their lives. I could hear words, though I cannot recall them now. I could hear their conversations, crying, yelling, kind encouragement, singing and all those moments each of us hold onto. I could see all this in that moment. This place my mind had made for me this time.
Then I moved. I walked from each little bubble of remembrance to the next. To some of the happiest times in my life to some of the saddest. But in all of them. they were there with me. I can even remember what it was like to shake their hands or hug them or bump into them as you do when you are standing about. I can see the smiles I have such fond memories of. Hear the tone of their voices. See the way they carried themselves. All as I had remembered it in my past. Before I knew it, I wasn’t just walking to walk in peace but living. Or reliving to be more apt. The warmth growing in my chest was indescribable.
I spent eons there last night. All the highs and lows of my life were open to me, even if it was just in this one brief moment I allowed myself. Happiness and joy accompanied by sorrow and pain. But all of this was ok because I wasn’t alone on this journey this time. To be able to see their faces, hear their voices and see their life was buoyant.
I was running through one of my favorite times. It was somewhat controlled chaos on a weekend night. I could feel the bass pumping from the DJ. The crowd was frenzied and joyous as it always was. My family was there. We were all working as one. Not one of us hid the smile on our faces. We all knew those times were something special. That even in the worst parts, we all had each other. I had never, nor to this day, been a part of that. It truly was unique. And I had been a part of it.
This was the last part I want to remember. When I said all those people were there, it was not an exaggeration. Everyone who has been a part of my life. They were all there but there were no differences, no motives, no reason for this, since it was a dream. But that’s how my mind presented it to me. Everyone who I cared about, learned from, chaste or chastised by, friend or foe, those I loved and those I have lost. They were all there. No enmity, no anger, no hate. Just all there enjoying this false moment my mind had built.
I remember the end clearly. In fact it is the only thing I can still see in detail. I remember a voice starting to yell from the other room. I was in a back stockroom taking a break and having a beer. The floor was that kind of polished well worn concrete that is as smooth as polished granite. It is grayish brown. It was cool and the shelves were stocked. I remember being fixated on the floor for some reason because there was nothing in the middle of the room.
The yell turned to a scream. The rest took place in a sort of slow motion. I was moving like normal but with each step, that world my mind had created started to change with each panicked stride I took. Edges became duller and duller, less defined. The Modello bottle I had tossed was sliding and spinning across that floor but had not broken. I watched as the concoction inside foamed out but could see time slow the spread of the spill. I can see each bubble start to form. I see the color of the floor change as the now glacially moving spill became just a blur along with the now colorless floor. I tried to move as fast as I could to the door. Each step slowing and obscuring more and more. I reach the door and open it. It seems to take longer than the eons I have been here already. The scream had become a banshee's wail.
Nothing happens when I open the door. I am in an empty room, I think. There is a purplish light that. Everything has returned to the normal dream. The DJ beat has been replaced by some indistinguishable white noise. There is no definition to this world anymore. And they are all gone.
All the faces. The voices. The laughs. They have all gone. And so I started walking. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I just walked.
The pain woke me and the tears were already there. They had been for some time. They flowed for a long time until I could bring myself to move. And now I wait until the exhaustion takes over later so maybe, just maybe, I can get back to that place. Something tells me I never will though, that I will end up as normal. Just walking. This time however with a small bit of pain to accompany the happiness, joy, peace, freedom and whole. I hope though that I can smile a bit at my new companion. As it means that for one brief instant in whatever passes for my mind, I was with all of the people I have known. For each one meant something. And I thank you for letting me in.
submitted by StringfellowHawkes
to Dreams [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 05:48 Big_Oof_02 Under my bed
My puppy is wild. She has never liked her crate, i’ve tried all the crate games i’ve tried so many suggestions both from online and a trainer and my puppy just doesn’t go for it. I worked on it with her daily for months and the progress never seemed to happen. I feel like some dogs just aren’t built for crates. So much to my dismay I gave up. She’s now almost 11 months old and the last month or so she’s been whining at my bed like she wants to crawl under it. the problem is my bed is too low to the ground so she just sits there and cries. It’s really sad and I feel so bad.
I’m kinda thinking she wants to feel like safe in a confined area so i’m tempted to try bringing out the crate again. But i’m also a little nervous cause i think she has a little bit of separation anxiety. Nothing crazy mainly when there’s a baby gate up and i’m home or she was in her crate. She does okay when i leave the house as long as she’s allowed to roam around semi freely (i should note i put a gate up when i’m not home to keep her in a specific puppy proofed room and she does really good then).
idk what do you guys think i can do to make her feel more comfortable when i can’t let her under my bed. She eventually gives up and climbs into my bed but If there’s a better idea please lmk
submitted by Big_Oof_02
to puppy101 [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 05:24 TheHomeBizSeeker rpm
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It’sWhat?It's Been a TRAP submitted by TheHomeBizSeeker to u/TheHomeBizSeeker [link] [comments]
ThisToday's trap is the biggest and most common pitfall of would be entrepreneurs today. It'sMost sometimes called "Analysis Paralysis", but I like to call it what it is. FEAR Fear of failing Fear of being judged Fear of not being able to handle success Fear of offending people Fear of wasting time and effort Fear of (INSERT YOUR EXCUSE HERE) We all have fear, but it’s the successful people who feel the fear and do it anyway. They don't let fear stop them, and they use the fear to push them to do greater and greater things. My mentor is a living example of what you can achieve when you take action in spite of fear.
ItSureThat wasn’t luck that catapulted him from suicide to success. It was a lot of hard work, struggle, embarrassment… And a whole lot of sucking at things at first. But because he didn’t quit, it allowed him to become a 7 figure earner in under 5 years from trying to take his own life… He did have one thing going for me though. He had time. He worked online day and night for up to 16 hours a day. He struggled for months trying to make my first commission. There were many days that he wanted to quit, wanted to give it all up. But hedidn’t… He pushed through and today he is in the 1% of earners online. It would have been so much EASIER if he had a proven path to follow and he doesn't want you to have to struggle like he did. That’s why James created the RPM training and group. This is the system, training and support James wishes someone had given him back in 2017. I’ve combined EVERYTHING I spent years learning into this system and created something never done before thanks to a new technology you will discover in the fr-ee group. It really does make it so simple a 3 year old could do it… Prove us wrong. Get started today.
Jump in today, you’ll be glad you did. Kind regards, Patrick
2023.06.09 04:57 calmthanever Self Loading Concrete Mixer Truck Is The Best Choice for Construction
| || | submitted by calmthanever to u/calmthanever [link] [comments]
TheFrom The Bunch
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It is possible to certainly trust high-capacity portability, too. And you don't have to drive that wet mix to employment site. You may hold back until you're at the job site after which mix the concrete. The mixer does everything to suit your needs. The computerized functions in the mixer mean you will get high quality concrete each and every time. And you're going so as to end up volume, that is necessary if you have lots of projects going as well.
Drive your brand new self loading mixer from job site to job site. Rely on the automated functions, including both feeding and measuring. The mixing and final discharge are also fairly simple, and therefore means there is the whole package when you purchase this type of mixer truck. This sort of machine is the most powerful mixer in the marketplace. Get more mixers details here: https://concretemixerwithpump.com/self-loading-concrete-mixer-indonesia/
It is an enormous mixer truck, too. Which means you do not only obtain the equipment you want for large jobs, but you create a statement to clients as well as your competition. You can depend on the powerful engine, too. This sort of truck is going to be one which works hard to your company for many years. You're planning to love this four wheel drive monster of any truck.
When you haven't seen one of those mixers face-to-face yet, then you definitely haven't seen anything yet. They dwarf the other mixer trucks, and they make mixing concrete look like a cake walk. Take all your raw materials for the job site, and allow the mixer to accomplish everything. You create the concrete at will, so you trust the flexibility that you need. Can you imagine developing a workhorse of a machine like this providing concrete for your projects on a daily basis?
That's what exactly you're getting should you buy a self loading concrete mixer UK
. There are many factors why you would like to make this decision, but of course the purchase price tag must match what you're expecting to pay for. There are many other great options, but this kind of mixer truck is the perfect regarding quality and dependability. Price them and discover what you believe before you make one last decision.
2023.06.09 01:54 SputnikSK Anesthesia Specialist and Developer: My Journey Crafting an Anesthesia Simulator Game - Part 3!"
Part 3: Reflections on Developing an Anesthesia Sim Game
A hearty thank you to everyone who tested and played the game – your support has been incredible! ❤️
I won't be posting the game link here anymore, since I got a lot of views 👀 and productive comments before, but the trailer is available below for anyone interested in a deeper dive or analysis.
Let's journey back to why I created this Anesthesia simulation game. Prior to starting my anesthesia residency, I scoured the internet for an anesthesia game to give me a headstart on the mountainous clinical preparation ahead, but to no avail. With a plethora of simulators available, from trucks 🛻, to cities 🏙️, surgeons 🧑⚕️, sharks 🦈 , and even a friggin goat 🐐 sim, I found none designed specifically for anesthesia. This gap inspired me to create my own sim during my residency.
I used the open source Godot Game Engine for coding, a platform very similar to Python, which introduced me to programming. Later I learned Python 🐍was an important programming language in the world of science 🧪.
What began as a tool for anesthesia residents evolved into a puzzle game accessible to anyone curious about what an anesthesiologist does(Except for orthopedic surgeons 🍖 🦴)
This venture enabled my transition from basic coding to developing AI algorithms in 2018, culminating in my current role as a full-time developeanesthesiologist.
While my project, Doctor Anesthesia, is now complete and won't be updated further, I'm eager to hear from fellow colleagues who are exploring the world of coding.
I also extend my sincere gratitude to the moderators of this subreddit. For your encouragement in allowing doctors to share our ideas, thoughts, and projects!
Take care, everyone! https://youtu.be/cV4goZRQO6U
submitted by SputnikSK
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2023.06.09 01:26 AuthorInHell Hindsight's a Bitch (Color Me Black CH2)
After they left, I locked the front door and carried on cleaning. Normally I wouldn't worry about locking the door until I left, but even if those strangers were two of the most attractive men I had the pleasure of looking upon, I didn't know them, and therefore, I didn't trust them.
Small town charm, indeed.
As I grabbed the last few bottles from by the pool table, the jukebox cut out. I rolled my eyes and made a mental note to call Jerry tomorrow about it. It was too late now, after I started bartending for him, Jerry took full advantage of not having to be here 24/7. He was likely already asleep.
The lights flickered as I pulled the trash bag out and threw it over my shoulder, but I shrugged it off, even as chills spread across my arms. The place was old, and probably haunted, and it wasn't the first time weird shit had happened here. I threw open the back door, crinkling my nose at the smell, and tossed the bag in the dumpster before locking up and heading to my car.
My car was technically Jim's old truck, but after he passed, Doris said I should have it. I tried to insist that it go to Polly when she was old enough to drive, but Doris just said I had helped him work on it enough that it should go to me. Polly wasn't one for trucks anyway, she had claimed. It was only when Polly put the keys in my hand herself that I actually accepted it. Seven years later, and the old, ugly thing still ran great.
God, I've been overly sentimental today. Let's move on.
The thing about hindsight, they say it's 20/20. After this day, I'd say it's a bitch. All it does is make you think about every single thing you did wrong, over and over again, until it drives you crazy. And crazy people don't tend to see all that clearly.
The house was dark when I pulled up, the only light coming from the moon. Which you'd think would be normal, it being ten something at night, but the porch light was always left on for me, and Polly doesn't normally go to bed this early. Doris doesn't either, but she may have gone to sleep earlier than usual if I had woken her up last night. She probably just forgot the porch light.
I walked up the steps and found the front door slightly open. Now THAT was not normal. I paused at the threshold long enough to pull out my Glock. I checked the sled and loaded the magazine before slowly pushing the door open with my foot. I longed to call out to Doris and Polly, to make sure they were okay, if they were even here (holding out hope that they aren't), but instinct and years of hunting kept my mouth shut.
I tried to keep my footsteps silent, avoiding the spots in the floor I know creak and groan. An overwhelming smell, like rotting eggs, filled the air. It triggered something in the corner of my brain, but I couldn't focus on it right now. The kitchen and living room were clear, and so was the downstairs bathroom.
I walked towards the stairs and the smell intensified. You know when people say they felt like lead was in the pit of their stomach? Turns out, they weren't overexaggerating.
There was no noise, save for my own breathing, as I crept up. Room by room, I cleared the house. No one was here. No sign of Doris, or Polly. I wanted to feel relieved, I really did, but life has taught me that relief is often a feeling followed by dread.
Sentimental has flown out the window.
I checked the windows upstairs, making sure they were all closed and locked, before going downstairs to do the same. I stopped short at the sight of Lenny and Barry. In my living room. Normally, this would constitute as a dream come true, but the guns in their hands definitely gave me pause on the horny fantasy.
They hadn't noticed me yet, so I slowly raised my gun and watched as they made their way into the kitchen. I followed them silently, keeping my gun level, until they reached the table.
"I'm gonna need you to drop the weapons and explain what, exactly, you're doing in my house."
They whirled around, both going to aim at me, but I was quicker. I shot a warning round into the floor by their feet. (Doris was seriously going to kill me for that.) They both jumped back, hands raised in the air.
"I didn't say wave them around, I said drop them."
"Drop the goddamn guns!" I said, as I cocked my own back.
"Fine, fine," Barry said, slowly bending at the knees to place his gun on the floor. "Just calm down, alright?"
Lenny looked irritated but followed suit, putting his weapon on the ground gently.
"Kick them aside."
Sighs of absolute exasperation floated through the air. (Seriously? Breaking into my house and then getting annoyed at me? Get a load of these guys.)
"Where are Doris and Polly?"
"Who?" Lenny asked, irritation coloring the word.
"Don't play stupid, I'm really not in the mood."
"Lady, I don't know who those people are." He snapped.
"Doris and Polly," I repeated slowly. "The two women who live in this house with me. The house you just broke into, with loaded weapons. After I come home to find them missing."
"Look, we can explain," Barry started.
"I would hope so, considering the alternative." I gestured with my head at the gun in my hand.
"Just lower your gun, and we'll tell you everything."
"Listen, Bare, may I call you Bare?" I continued without waiting for permission, "You seem to not understand how this works. Your weapons are out of reach, mine is in hand, you're in MY house, and my family is missing. I'll lower the gun if I decide your explanation is good enough. Which seems unlikely."
My voice, somehow, was holding completely steady, but inwardly, panic was filling every empty part of my body. My brain was screaming at me to stop wasting time, but I forced that voice aside. At this point, the only people who could tell me anything were standing in front of me, one looking pissed off and the other looking very concerned. About me or the imminent death he faced, I couldn't be sure.
"Winsley, your family, they've been taken by-"
"Dean, she deserves to know. She's in this, whether we like it or not."
I blinked at the sudden identity change, although I have to say, I was kind of grateful that two dudes who looked this good didn't have names like Lenny and Barry. Even if they were possible kidnappers.
Dean, previously Lenny, clenched his jaw, but didn't say anything when Sammy, previously Barry, started again. "They've been taken by what we think is a demon. We're not sure why yet, but that's why we're here. It's what we do. We, we save people from things like this."
"Things like demons." I deadpanned. "So you're story is, a demon has, for some unknown reason, kidnapped my family, and you two just happen to be here at the same time as this thing, because life is all just one big coininky dink?"
"We tracked it here," Lenny/Dean spoke up. "It's been traveling through Wyoming, ripping through small towns. It's killed before, but it's never kidnapped anyone. Until now. So whatever this thing wants, your family has it. And you're not exactly helping us save 'em."
"And your plan was to shoot this demon full of lead? Do demons bleed? Can they even die?"
"They're full of rock salt," Barry/Sammy said. "Salt doesn't kill them, but it hurts them. Slows 'em down. We slow them down enough, we can get them wrapped in rope soaked in holy water and get the answers we all want."
Hysterical laughter bubbled up in my throat. I've been a bartender for 7 years, in a small ass town in the middle of nowhere, and before that, well, that's a backstory for another chapter, but let's just conclude that I know crazy. I've delt with crazy, but this was above and beyond.
"This is either some elaborate scheme to distract me, or you're both having a psychotic break at the same time."
"Okay, enough," Dean snapped. Faster than I could track, he whipped out yet another gun from behind him and aimed it at me.
"Am I now a demon in this illusion of yours? Rock salt isn't gonna do shit to me."
"Well, actually, it hurts like a bitch." He said, shrugging. "Curiosity got the best of me. But this ain't no rock salt, sweetheart. So why don't you put the gun down, because I guarantee you I can pull this trigger faster than you."
I paused, considering, before twisting and aiming my gun at Sammy's head. "You wanna test that theory?"
They both went deathly still. Apparently, they decided to finally take my threat seriously.
"Fine, you know what? You want your family to die, that's on you, lady. We can leave you to it," Dean put his gun down and went to grab the other one from the floor. "But don't say we didn't warn you."
He went to walk out the back door, Sammy hesitantly grabbing his own gun before following Dean out.
"Wait. Fine. But I want some of those rock salt thingies."
Dean glanced back. "No."
Sammy ignored him and handed me his pistol. "Aim for the heart."
I slowly holstered my gun, replacing it with his.
"I think she can handle herself, Dean."
Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed so hard I was surprised it didn't propel him backwards.
"Are there any other buildings around here that might be abandoned or empty? Somewhere used for storage?"
"Yeah, we have a barn. Jim used to keep some of his old junk in there."
"Okay, full offense, for someone supposedly trying to help, you are extremely rude."
"Yes, and I look good doing it."
I narrowed my eyes at him but lead them out the backdoor. Before you start yelling at me, I'm not believing this bullshit. They're clearly insane, and they probably have my family locked in the barn, and I figure once they go inside to "scope the place out", I'll call Sherrif Bereta and get these beautiful loonies locked up.
That plan went dark, literally, as a sharp pain cracked through my skull and I crumbled to the ground.
I'm sure we've all heard the term "spitting mad". Well, whatever that means, I was even angrier when I came to, back in the kitchen, surrounded by a ring of salt and tied up with, sure enough, a soggy rope. It itched.
Okay, yes. I got, well, got. I spent the past ten years of my life hunting animals, not fighting crime, okay? Give me a break. I thought my plan had been pretty solid.
I glanced around, trying to get my bearings through the bulldozer that had made its home in my head. Two major headaches in one day. If the tequila didn't kill my braincells, that hit certainly did.
"Bastards," I muttered to myself. I wiggled against the ropes, but all that managed to do was chafe. I attempted to stand, but they had tied my ankles together and to my bound wrists, so not only did I fail, I looked ridiculous doing it.
The panic I was ignoring earlier came back with renewed strength, and I had to stop all movement and focus on my breathing. I haven't had a panic attack in years, and I really didn't think this was a smart time to start again.
The silence broke with a screech that sounded, as much as I loathe to admit it, demonic. I'm not a religious person, if you couldn't tell, working a Sunday morning instead of attending church, so I didn't break out in prayer. I did, however, look around for any kind of weapon that I could try to get my hands on. My gun was sitting on the table, just out of reach.
"Bastards!" I announced again.
"That's no way to talk about the people who saved your ass."
Dean was standing in the doorway, a light coat of sweat shining across his forehead. His breathing was quick, but all in all, he seemed steady.
"You pistol whipped me, hog tied me, and seasoned me, dude. I wouldn't constitute that as 'saving'."
"Yeah, well. Difference of opinion," he said, a small smile playing across his lips.
"Where's your future cellmate?"
"He's finishing up with the demon. Should be here any minute."
"Ah, yes. The demon. Did you get any answers? Did you find Polly and Doris? Did you develop the sudden need to enroll yourself into a mental institution?"
Before Dean could answer, Sam came into view behind him, and on his arm was Polly. My breath caught in my throat as I looked her over, bruised, bleeding from a cut on her forehead, but alive. On her feet.
"Polly thank god, I was so worried-" I went to stand up, forgetting about the ropes, and promptly fell over. "Can you get these goddamn things off of me?"
Dean glanced over at his brother, and Sammy nodded. He lead Polly to a chair and positioned himself in front of her.
"Do you think I'm going to attack my own family? I'm not the one suffering from some kind of breakdown." I said, watching Dean pull out a knife and ever so slowly cut through the ropes. As soon as they fell off, I stood, rubbing my raw wrists, and went to make my way to Polly.
"Where's Doris?" I asked, kneeling in front of her. "Is she okay? Did she get caught up at bible study or did these two lunatics tie her up, too?"
Polly lifted her tear soaked eyes, grief overflowing in them.
There's something you should know about Big Traumatic Events, and it's that time moves differently in them. You know when you were a kid, swimming in a pool, and you sunk down to the bottom? The world was quiet, and your limbs were heavy and light at the same time, moving through the water as if time had slowed.
That's what it's like.
I rocked back on my heels.
I stood and whipped towards Sam.
I lunged for the gun.
Sammy caught my arms, pushing me back as I fought against him.
There was a sound trying to pierce through the overwhelming emptiness in my head. A sound that sounded a lot like a wounded animal. It's a sound I know well.
When Polly swam into view, putting my face between her hands, I realized that I was that sound. Something between a scream and a sob was falling out of me, and I couldn't stop it.
"Winnie. It's okay. It's gonna be okay," she sobbed with me.
I wrenched myself away from her. I couldn't, wouldn't, allow myself to be calmed down.
"What did you do to her?!" I screamed.
"She was possessed, Winnie."
"Don't call me that."
"By the time we got to her, it was too late. The demon had destroyed her body, and it was the only thing holding her together."
"STOP USING YOUR INSANE THEORIES AS AN EXCUSE FOR WHY YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!"
My chest heaved, and the two murdering bastards just stood there. They had the gall to even look sad. What did they have to be sad about? They're the ones going around killing people, claiming it's in the name of- of what? God? I didn't care.
"It's true, Winnie."
My breath came up short as I turned to look at Polly. Tears still streamed down her face, mingling with the blood. I noticed her lip was split, too, and added another tally to the scoreboard. I'd kill them.
"She was, she was different. She wasn't mom. She hit me. She tied me up. She tried to torture me, asking me questions that I didn't understand."
"No, Polly. These lunatics probably drugged you or something. THEY tortured you. They're feeding you their delusions."
"No, they aren't!" She shouted. "I saw it, okay? I saw her become that thing. I saw her eyes turn black. And I felt every moment she laid her hands on me. She was MY mom, Winnie. I knew her better than anyone, and I know that wasn't her."
Those words broke something deep inside of me, deeper than even Doris's death. Polly was right. Doris was her mother. Not mine. I looked at Dean, at Sammy, at the gun, my gun, that he was now holding in his hands, probably to keep me from putting a few rounds in the two of them.
I took a deep breath and simply said, "Fine."
And I left.
Yeah I made myself sad. I also feel like I used the word "Gun" so much. But really what else do I call it? Anyway. Supernatural ripped my heart out like twenty thousand times, so it's only fair I add some heartbreak to this story. Hope you like it!
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2023.06.09 01:08 SweatySleeping Question about yielding on a heavy warehouse street.
I was driving down a business dead end street today. One where there’s a bunch of semi trucks going to a dozen different warehouses. And I had a stop allllll the way at the end.
Well. Halfway down there’s a semi literally parked across the street perpendicular to the flow of traffic. It looks like he’s having a little bit of trouble maneuvering to his dock… taking his time and he stops completely for the 5-10 seconds I’m driving up to him. There’s just enough space for me to squeeze by on the left and I shoot on through. This asshat jumps the truck at me right when I pass him. I give home a friendly honk and I make my delivery
Now on my way back out this guy runs out into the middle of the street… flags me down and says. Something like you know that was a real dick move what you did back there I just wanted to let you know you should wait for me to clear the street before you pass.
I kindly responded with a single question “how much money do you make”. … “more than you” is the response
And yah know what I said next? I said exactly! I got places to be and stops to make. You wait for me dick.” And then I drove off as he asked me to get out and fight lol
Like does anyone here really think we should be yielding to semi truck drivers making twice as much money as us? Like if dudes gonna sit in the middle of the street not moving I’m going to drive around you. Why do I feel in the wrong now?
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2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry
NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
- What do you think he makes? BARRY:
- Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry:
- Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE:
- Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM:
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
- It's like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA:
- Maybe I'll try that. (A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the table) CUSTODIAN:
- You all right, ma'am? VANESSA:
- Oh, yeah. Fine. : Just having two cups of coffee! BARRY: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. VANESSA== Yeah, it's no trouble. BARRY: Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. (Barry points towards the rum cake) : Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry) BARRY:
- Thanks! VANESSA:
- Yeah. BARRY: All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
: Or not. VANESSA: OK, Barry... BARRY: And thank you so much again... for before. VANESSA: Oh, that? That was nothing. BARRY: Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... (Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because her hands is to big and Barry holds that) (The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off the ladder) (Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute in a Honex wind tunnel) BEE SCIENTIST #1: This can't possibly work. BEE SCIENTIST #2: He's all set to go. We may as well try it. : OK, Dave, pull the chute. (Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking together) ADAM:
- Sounds amazing. BARRY:
- It was amazing! : It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
- We're all jammed in. : It's a close community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. BARRY:
- What if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD:
- You a mosquito, you in trouble. : Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY: At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. : Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it) You got to be kidding me! : Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! (Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there are other mosquito's hanging out) :
- Hey, guys! OTHER MOSQUITO:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
- And I'm Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, : intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, : packaging it and profiting from it illegally! JEANETTE CHUNG: Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, : we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, : Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry) BEE LARRY KING: Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. : Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? BARRY: Bees have never been afraid to change the world. : What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? BEE LARRY KING: Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
: We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. BARRY: How old are you? BEE LARRY KING: The bee community is supporting you in this case, : which will be the trial of the bee century. BARRY: You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. BEE LARRY KING: It's a common name. Next week... BARRY: He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... BEE LARRY KING: Next week... BARRY: Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. BEE LARRY KING: Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live. (Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen) BARRY: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. (Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing)
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case) (Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa) BARRY: I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. VANESSA: I think the jury's on our side. BARRY: Are we doing everything right,you know, legally? VANESSA: I'm a florist. BARRY: Right. Well, here's to a great team. VANESSA: To a great team! (Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa) KEN: Well, hello. VANESSA:
- Oh, Ken! BARRY:
- Hello! VANESSA: I didn't think you were coming. : No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... (Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge) ...the battery... VANESSA:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
- You got the tweezers? LAWYER:
- Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only to losing, son. Only to losing. : Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. : What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) : to that woman? BARRY: We're friends. MONTGOMERY:
- Good friends? BARRY:
- Yes. MONTGOMERY: How good? Do you live together? ADAM: Wait a minute... : MONTGOMERY: Are you her little... : ...bedbug? (Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated) I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,
: doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? BARRY:
- Yeah, but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing at Janet and Martin)
- So those aren't your real parents! JANET:
- Oh, Barry... BARRY:
- Yes, they are! ADAM: Hold me back! (Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? ADAM: He's denouncing bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't y'all date your cousins? (Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam) VANESSA:
- Objection! (Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery) =ADAM:
- I'm going to pincushion this guy! BARRY: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! (Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
- No! : No one's flying the plane! BUD DITCHWATER: (Through radio on plane) This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? VANESSA: This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. BUD: Where's the pilot? VANESSA: He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. BUD: Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? BARRY: As a matter of fact, there is. BUD:
- Who's that? BARRY:
- Barry Benson. BUD: From the honey trial?! Oh, great. BARRY: Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. : It's got giant wings, huge engines.
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
- Sure is. BARRY: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. (Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being) [--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard talking over the credits--] You have got to start thinking bee, my friend! :
- Thinking bee!
- Me? BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, BarryBARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
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2023.06.09 00:17 beenoc [Combat Robotics] Riptide: How one Battlebots team managed to just be the worst in every way
This drama is mainly about the events of Season 7/World Championship 7 (WC7), the season of Battlebots that aired in 2023. Big spoilers for the season inbound, including the overall winner
, along with spoilers of the outcomes and winners of previous seasons.
I will try my hardest to be unbiased which is hard because I am extremely biased and any attempt to be unbiased could only come across as enlightened centrism. I will simply try to keep the bias to a manageable level.
In case you don't know, Battlebots (well, combat robotics, but Battlebots is the most well-known and publicized event by an order of magnitude) is a... sport? Game? Hobby? Lifestyle? Where the goal is to throw two robots of a comparable weight against each other, with the goal to destroy each other. Battlebots itself is in the heavyweight category, with a 250 lb weight limit per robot. Other popular weight classes (relatively popular - heavyweight is the only televised one) are antweight (1 lb), beetleweight (3 lb), hobbyweight (12 lb), and lightweight (30 lb.) Battlebots itself airs on Discovery, generally with a main season and a spinoff season each year.
If you watched Battlebots back in the late 90s when it was on Comedy Central, you might remember robots that were basically big wedges pushing each other around a square and maybe occasionally taking a bit of armor off. That's not how it is anymore
. Bots are destructive, powerful, and great spectacles to watch fight. Seriously, you should watch Battlebots. It's on Discovery+ and
Max. If you don't want to spend the money,
Norwalk National Havoc Robotics League (NHRL)
has competitions every few months that are livestreamed for free on Youtube in the smaller weight classes.
In case it's not clear from the write-up, Battlebots is filmed usually in the fall, and the season airs spring the next year. So all of the events in this write-up occurred over a 2-week period in OctobeNovember 2022, but only were public drama as the episodes aired January-May 2023. Much like any reality/game show, all the builders, production, etc. knew the outcome of the season before anything aired, there's just millions of dollars of NDAs.
Something interesting about Battlebots that might surprise those unfamiliar with it is the culture. While teams work as hard as they can to reduce the other robot to splintered scrap in the box, back in the pits everyone is super awesome and nice and kind and helpful - a frequent occurrence is going to the pit of the bot you just took apart and seeing if there is any way you can help with the rebuild.
The classic example
is in the 2021 season, when the iconic Witch Doctor
's weapon disk kept breaking due to poor quality steel. They were scrambling to find material and resources to machine a new disk, when a ton of teams came together to save their season.
(yes, that's a trans Battlebot) lent them their pickup truck, to go pick up steel from a nearby supplier who was found by the captain of Team Blacksmith
They needed to recreate the failure to figure out was wrong, so Team Shatter
(the biggest, strongest hammer-bot in the competition) took their robot to the test box to try and break a disk.
They took the steel to the nearby build space of Team Chomp
, who stayed up all night on their waterjet to cut new disks (the new disks worked well, by the way.)
After the season, they still didn't know for sure what the cause was, so they worked with Team Hypershock
to create a dummy test robot, modeled after the very durable robot (and future 2022 champs) Tantrum
, they could test the old disks on. They then sent the broken disks to a materials science lab run by a friend of the captain of Team Tantrum to perform materials analysis.
Many of these teams had fought Witch Doctor in the past, others would fight them in the future. But that doesn't matter - in robot combat, everyone is friends outside the box.
Every year there are of course rookie bots competing for the first time. Sometimes from veteran teams and builders, such as last year's Blip
(from the creators of Tantrum), or this year's RIPperoni
, from former members of the teams behind Uppercut
, but just as often from new builders, at least new to heavyweight (almost nobody starts out with with the robots that can cost as much as a new car.)
One of these 'new-to-heavyweight' rookies last year was Riptide
, captained by Ethan Kurtz (the guy with the "you know I had to do it to em" pose.) Ethan had found a good amount of success previously with the beetleweight Rival
, and Riptide was basically Rival writ 80 times bigger. Riptide had a pretty good first season, winning 2 out of their 3 qualifying fights and making it to the quarterfinals before losing to the extremely good SawBlaze
No real controversy, aside from a false start and early hit on HUGE
in their first fight - written off as "I'm fighting a heavyweight on Battlebots for the first time" nerves, no hard feelings from anyone, not even HUGE. They also gave fan-favorite (formerly) indestructible brick Duck!
such a bad thrashing that Duck! permanently retired after that fight (Duck! was having a bad year anyway, that fight was just the icing on the cake.)
Their success led to them co-winning Rookie of the Year alongside Glitch
, who won an amazing 7 fights in a row, a feat only done before by 3-time championship winner and undisputed GOAT Bite Force
(Glitch had to bow out of the tournament because their bot had taken irreparable damage despite the victories, but it's possible they could have extended it even further.) Riptide became well known for Ethan screaming "LET'S GO!" (or sometimes, "LET'S F------ GO"!", giving the censors a bit of a workout and annoying production) after big wins.
So coming into season 8, their sophomore year, hopes are high for Riptide and people want to see this breakout star do well, right? After all, there's no big controversy in their funding or anything, is there?
Stan is the bald dude next to Ethan in the team picture. He's Ethan's dad, and also one of the main sponsors for the team through his company BeCourageous. Where did Stan Kurtz get his money to sponsor a big team? Well, he once had a company named RevitaPOP. RevitaPOP made vitamin B12 lollipops. If you know anything about 'alternative medicine,' this is where you say "oh no."
Stan Kurtz was once upon a time the president of Generation Rescue. Yes, that Generation Rescue
, the Jenny McCarthy 'vaccines-cause-autism' one. He was instrumental in getting the 'movement' off the ground in the first place - I even seem to recall seeing a link to a talk he did where he said he was backstage for McCarthy's interview with Larry King, but I'm not about to sift through hours of his horrid talks and speeches to find it.
Stan Kurtz sold lollipops that he claimed cured autism, autism that he and his organization claimed was caused by vaccines. In fact, he claimed they even cured his son Ethan's autism! Remember this when you read about Ethan's behavior - it's not an excuse, but "autistic but prevented from going to any kind of therapy or anything because it would make his dad look like a liar" is certainly an explanation.
Let me divest into opinion for a sec. Stan Kurtz is evil. There is a direct line between the actions of Stan Kurtz promoting vaccine denalism and snake oil cures, and dead children. Fuck Stan Kurtz. Every other problem with Team Riptide could be overlooked if they did not have this dude as their primary sponsor (which necessarily would require replacing Ethan as captain, because you can't separate him from his dad financially.) Okay, back to the writeup.
But put a pin in "Riptide's captain and his dad are antivaxxers" - it's a surprise tool that will help us later.
Riptide in WC7
Fight 1: Glitch
Aside from that, people didn't have that much of an opinion on Riptide going in to WC7 (and even that wasn't too widely known until partway through the season.) Generally, there was a feeling of "let's see if they can keep it up" - often a lot of very promising rookie bots have weak second seasons. They started the season fighting Glitch, to see who was truly better. One hit, weapon-on-weapon, and Glitch fucking died. Upside down, weapon not spinning, no way to self-right.
Team Glitch asked Riptide to hit them again try to flip them back over, maybe knock some life back into the bot. Not an uncommon thing, but sometimes it backfires. Riptide did, launched Glitch across the box, and now Glitch was super
-dead. Instant, extremely decisive knockout for Riptide. No drama yet.
Fight 2: MaD CatTer
Now on to the second fight. This one was against MaD CatTer
, consisting of community college professor Martin Mason (goatee in the middle) and his students. Martin Mason is known for his intentionally cheesebally and over-the-top Macho Man imitation/homage, with lots of pointing at the camera and saying "Oh yeah!" Also by all regards the nicest man on planet Earth and one of the most beloved figures in combat robotics.
Of note is MaD CatTer's driver, Calvin Iba (guy beneath Martin's pointing hand.) Calvin Iba is one of the few builders better known for his smaller robot - his robot Lynx
is the winningest beetleweight of all time, with an incredible 11
tournament wins, 8 undefeated, and an overall record of 86-11 as of December 2022 (and several events since then, but I can't find overall fight records of those events.) Now, Lynx is a very similar design to Rival (and therefore Riptide) - Lynx predates Rival by a few months, but the design is relatively generic and common at lower weight classes so it's not exactly plagarism.
This is relevant because Battlebots production tried to stir up drama, painting Calvin as angry that Ethan copied his bot and scaled it up to 250lb before Calvin could himself. For what it's worth Calvin did play into it a bit (he brought Lynx to the fight), but by all regards there aren't really any serious hard feelings about that. "Beater bars" (the weapon style of Riptide/Lynx/Rival) predate all three bots. Worth noting that Rival lost to Lynx
in a brutal slugfest in the semifinals match of NHRL a few years ago, so maybe Ethan had a bit of a revenge arc more than anything.
On to the fight. MaD CatTer is a pretty serious bot - not most people's favorite to win it all, but a 'serious contender for semifinals' kind of bot - so nobody knew how this would go. It was back and forth for... about 10 seconds, then Riptide got one good hit and did not let up. MaD CatTer got taken apart like they never had before, left a smoking mess, stuck sideways against the arena wall
, knocked out within a minute. Riptide then drove around a bit and punted pieces of MaD CatTer around the box, which got them a warning from the ref for being unsafe and for doing unnecessary damage to perfectly salvageable components of MaD CatTer. The team apologized later for that, saying they wouldn't do it again. Remember that.
Okay, two rapid knockouts against serious bots. Riptide is definitely not suffering from the sophomore curse. But in the post-fight interview, we did get a little taste of Ethan being a bit of a jerk - basically dismissed Calvin/Lynx as worse Riptide, and put his hand over Martin's mouth
(without Martin's permission) as a way of saying "shut up wrestler man!" Could have been funny, but it came across as somewhat mean-spirited and Martin clearly was not cool with it (and Martin Mason is not a sore loser - he spends almost every post-fight interview gushing about how good the other robot is, even if MaD CatTer loses.) Production asked Calvin what he thought, and he said (while holding Lynx) "well, I designed this robot to be unbeatable, it's a great robot to base it off of. Good job." Good comeback.
Fight 3: Captain Shrederator Captain Shrederator
is a longtime veteran, being one of the few robots (alongside Witch Doctor, Hypershock, and Lock-Jaw
) who has competed in all 7 seasons of the reboot. And they've competed for even longer - under various names and throughout various small tweaks, Captain Shrederator is basically the same robot as Phrizbee
, from original Battlebots Season 3.0 in 2001. They're not exactly good
by any modern standard, to be honest, but they're fun and an institution of the show. Worth noting that leading up to this fight, Nick Nave (son of Shrederator captain Brian Nave and a member of the team) had been hinting at possible controversy around this fight for a few weeks beforehand on the subreddit, so people were ready for some shit.
So going in, everyone expects Riptide to win. Here's a bot that made MaD CatTer look like a middleweight, versus a team with, at the time, a 6-18 career record. Riptide can't be complacent because even Shrederator can do some damage if you let it (by some metrics, Shrederator may have the most powerful weapon in the competition), but it's their fight to lose. Ethan Kurtz explains his strategy in an interview before the fight - get some big hits that flip Shrederator over. Once they're upside-down, they can't self-right and they'll be counted out. Makes sense, a solid, quick, safe, easy way to win. Well, watch the fight here if you can
If you can't, I will summarize: It starts off with Shrederator dodging Riptide and spinning up, until eventually Riptide gets a solid hit that breaks a piece of Shrederator's shell off and destabilizes them. One more big hit from Riptide and Shrederator lands upside-down - it's over. Well, no. Riptide then goes in and hits them again before they can be counted out. And again. And again. And again. At this point Shrederator is basically completely dead, but it's still able to spin. Shrederator's team calls over to Riptide "yo, stop it we're dead already." Riptide hits Shrederator again. Riptide's weapon operator tells Ethan to hit him again. And so he does. And one more time, as sparks fly out of Shrederator's pulverized electronics. Riptide leaves Shrederator dead on the floor, as they go and, you guessed it, punt shrapnel around the box. At this point the referee has to physically take the controller from Ethan (while the rest of team Riptide tries to stop the ref.)
Of course this is a KO for Riptide, but in doing so they did around $10,000 worth of extra, unnecessary damage to Shrederator, and almost the entire bot had to be thrown out and rebuilt from spares. Riptide was not apologetic (and in fact later Ethan would gloat to the camera over how Team Shrederator hadn't even tried to rebuild their bot.) No members of Team Riptide helped Shrederator rebuild either, though one did offer. (It wasn't Ethan, Stan, or the weapon operator Sid.)
To say this was controversial to the community would be lying. Controversy requires some argument or debate. There was none - everyone
thought Riptide went way too far. Riptide later tried to say "we interpreted their spinning as intent to keep fighting, and we couldn't hear them asking us to stop." Which was seen by most of the community as a load of crap, since Ethan had said to the camera that he didn't need to do those late hits just before the fight, and teams are bantering with each other in fights all the time. Riptide was formally warned by the ref again for this fight.
At this point, the editors I guess realized that controversy sells. In almost every remaining episode of the season, even ones where Riptide didn't fight, they had some clip of Riptide, or Ethan, or something else to rub in "these guys are really mean and have a good bot, wHaT iF tHeY wIn???" Very much a 'whenver Riptide's not on screen, all the other robots should be asking "Where's Riptide?"
' situation. It got old very fast (read: instantly.)
Fight 4: Black Dragon
You want to talk about beloved teams, you have to mention Black Dragon
. This Brazilian team is known for two things - their plush duck, which they won in a claw machine the first time they came to the US for a competition and have kept as a good luck charm ever since, and their durability - they had gone a near-record 24 matches without ever getting knocked out, winning all of those fights or losing by judge's decision. Leading up to this fight, Battlebots kept having segments showing how Black Dragon had almost surpassed Bite Force for the "most fights without a KO" streak (Bite Force was never KO'd in its entire 4-season career, going 26-1 with 1 lost JD.) Of course, then they had to fight Riptide.
This fight was probably the least controversial Riptide fight of the season - you can watch it here
. Riptide went in and did not let up, unrelenting, leading to the Brazilian bot suffering their first ever KO in under a minute. Riptide was actually pretty chill in the post-fight interview, very respectful towards Black Dragon - I guess that ref warning stuck. For now. With that, Riptide advanced to 4-0 in the qualifiers, and ended up securing themselves the #2 overall seed (behind the undefeated Brazilian monster Minotaur
, a favorite to win it all every season and the season 3 runner-up.)
Round of 32: Shatter
For those who don't know, Battlebots has a series of qualifying fights (this year, 4 fights per bot) to determine, out of the contenders (50 this year), which 32 get to compete in the tournament for the Giant Nut, and where they will be seeded. As the #2 seed, Riptide got to fight the #31 seed - hammer-bot Shatter, who you saw earlier helping Witch Doctor. Now, let me not mince words - Shatter was fucked. To paraphrase a comment I saw, "If Shatter drives like a god, gets the most perfect hammer shots ever, and in general is the best a hammer has ever looked in the history of hammers... they will still lose." There was no way Shatter could ever, ever
win, barring some kind of catastrophic self-induced failure from Riptide. But damn it, Shatter captain Adam Wrigley was sure as hell going to try.
Now, for more info, the bots have rules that govern what you can do. There's a lot, but 2 are relevant - strict 250 lb weight limit, and the tip speed of a spinning weapon cannot exceed 250 mph. Bots are weighed before each fight to confirm the weight limit, and all bots with spinners have to do tip speed tests in the test box. After the weigh-in, you cannot modify or work on your bot in any way without the approval of production and safety. Not for anything. Maybe a sticker if you want.
So when a Shatter team member found Riptide working on their bot
in the tunnel leading from the pits just before the fight, questions were had, and team Shatter demanded Riptide be reweighed and tip speed retested (there were rumors in the pits that they were spinning faster than 250mph.) The team later explained they were attaching a plastic hammer to the robot to mimic Shatter (teams doing funny decorative mods to their bot to mimic the other bot is a longstanding tradition.) All evidence seemed to point to that being the case, so nobody thinks they were lying about it, but it still warranted a reweigh. My opinion - that's fine, but tell production. If people think you're going to do something illegal, and you do something legal but in a way that looks illegal, don't be surprised when people think you're doing something illegal.
I will note that the show made a big deal out of how when Riptide was weighed before they were 'caught,' they weighed in at 250 lb, and the re-weighing said they were 248. There was some concern from Shatter about that, not helped by Stan Kurtz being kind of smug back to them. In response to one Shatter member asking "Why is it 248 now and 250 before?", Stan responded "You're right, there's something wrong. We made it lighter." Now, the thing with this is that there are multiple scales, they're not extremely precise, and if anyone has ever worked with industrial scales before you know how easily they come out of calibration. Some builders have said that whether or not the AC was on could add a pound of weight from the airflow. The "250lb" scale was not the same as the "248lb" scale as well. Generally, nobody really
thinks there is something up with the weight, but working on the bot post-weigh-in absolutely warrants a reweigh, no matter who it is.
Riptide complained a lot about it, to the point where the word "whiney" comes to mind. You messed up, teams are meant to tell production before they add decorative stuff and you didn't, so you need to be reweighed. You've already pissed people off in the past so don't be surprised when they give you a bit more scrutiny. Take your lumps, apologize, act like adults, and maybe people will give you the benefit of the doubt next time. Instead, there was a lot of "oh boo is me, we're being discriminated against" - a direct quote from Ethan is "their paranoia is affecting our performance, I think it's really uncool that they did this." Granted, if the scale drifted the other way and they had to lose 2lb of armor to satisfy the arbitrary scale drift, I would get it more, but as it is they just look, well, whiney.
At this time, unbeknownst to anyone until they revealed it on a livestream, Team Whyachi (the team behind the powerful flipper Hydra
, engine of (self-)destruction Fusion
, and Comedy Central-era legend Son of Whyachi
, who had the pit next to Riptide, was asked by production to put a spy camera up to make sure everything was above board. Allegedly they also began doing analysis of the audio and video of the actual fights, to make sure teams (read: one team) weren't cheating and spinning faster than the "maximum speed" they did in the test box.
However, aside from the (explainable, acceptable) scale drift, Riptide was not found to be cheating with tip speed or anything else. Shatter accepted this without complaint - they just wanted to be sure. So, that's out of the way. Ethan basically said "they are paranoid and are trying to ruin us so we will crush them" - fair enough, I suppose. Here's the fight
(note: this video includes the entire 'weigh-in' drama before the fight if you want to watch it instead of just reading about it.) For what it's worth, Shatter lasted longer than anyone yet against Riptide - almost 2 minutes - but it went the way everyone expected. The most unexpected thing was in the post-fight, where Ethan basically said "Adam is a paranoid loser" (alongside, allegedly, some more personal insults that got cut), then went in for a "sporting" handshake. Unsurprisingly, Adam refused it.
Now, Adam is basically the "union rep" for the builders - he's the guy chosen (by the builders) to represent them when Battlebots is thinking about changing the rules. He is a very widely respected guy and is by all accounts very sporting and nice. So when you've pissed him off enough that he refuses the handshake (only the second refused handshake in modern Battlebots history, as far as I am aware), you know you fucked up. But either way, Riptide is on to the round of 16.
Round of 16: Hypershock
You saw Hypershock earlier. They're quite good - definitely a contender, though generally not going to be anyone's main pick to win it all. This year, they were the #18 seed after a rough set of qualifiers, fighting 2021 champs End Game
, 2021 runner-up Whiplash
, perennial contender SawBlaze, and the confusingly fast Claw Viper
(seriously watch this
, look how fast that boy is.) But after a solid win over #15 seed Lucky
, they were on to the round of 16.
When I say Hypershock is a fan favorite, I mean they are the
fan favorite - between their iconic style, aggressive driving, and captain Will Bales's humor and charisma, it's probably not wrong to say Hypershock is the most popular bot and team around. People love Hypershock, and people don't love Riptide, so this fight had a lot of "save us, O-Will Bales Kenobi, you're our only hope" energy with the community. Leading up to this, Will said in an interview that Riptide was good, but every team can't be good forever, and that someday Ethan will experience, in Will's words, a "humbling event."
But Hypershock wasn't the odds-on favorite here - Will Bales's flashy driving tends to lead to errors, and against something as nasty as Riptide, any error is death. The full fight isn't uploaded, but here's a clip
of the post-fight highlight reel. Will started out doing a 'box rush' (charging straight at the other bot as soon as the fight starts), only to attempt to dodge to the side. Unfortunately, this led to him powersliding directly into Riptide's weapon, losing a wheel, and getting flipped over.
Now, the thing with vertical spinners in Battlebots is they spin 'up' - this means that the outer side goes up and the inner side goes down, so you can brace your own bot against the floor and send the other one flying. Now Hypershock is upside down, effectively spinning 'down,' so the energy from hits pushes the other bot down and themselves up. Riptide is spinning 'up' as normal. Both of these are extremely powerful weapons. Both want to send Hypershock into the air. So what happens when they collide? The energy of both weapons goes into sending Hypershock flying
up over 25 feet and slamming into the ceiling of the Battlebox. Remember that that thing weighs 250 pounds. To quote Will in the post-fight interview, "nobody has ever been hit like that before." Much to the chagrin of Hydra captain Jake Ewert, who had the goal of being the first-ever bot to send another bot into the ceiling (and came within inches in their fight against Deathroll
), Riptide made Battlebots history here.
The rest of the fight goes as expected at this point and Hypershock is KO'd, with Riptide moving into the quarterfinals. Sorry Will, you aren't the humbling event this time.
It's the final episode of the season - the quarterfinals, semifinals, and finals are all in one episode. People are spooked because Riptide is a incredible, powerful bot built and driven by shitty people, and nobody wants them to win but they might. But to go any further, they have to beat Copperhead.
. This snake-themed bot is probably best known for getting a new captain almost every year, and this year it's Luke Quintal in charge for his first time. They just came off of an insanely dominant upset
over 2021 champs End Game.
Luke has said that he was too focused on Copperhead to pay attention to the controversy, so he became aware of it when, leading up to this fight, builders kept coming up to him and whispering in his hear "dude, you have to beat Riptide. You have
to beat them. You might be our last hope." He's just a first-year captain/driver, with the oldest bot in the competition (Copperhead has had the same two frames for its entire 4-year career - this is the longest any frame has competed in the history of modern Battlebots without replacement), who's had to have back-to-back fights against rookie of the year Ripperoni, 2018 Most Destructive winner ROTATOЯ
, and End Game. No pressure.
Now, people have tried ways to beat Riptide. You can't just tank their hits with a durable bot (Black Dragon.) You can't outdrive them with fancy footwork (Hypershock.) But something nobody has been
insane enough to try is to go weapon-to-weapon on purpose
to break Riptide's weapon. Copperhead just went weapon-to-weapon with End Game and broke theirs. Copperhead is durable enough to take those huge hits Riptide deals out. So their strategy is to just go berserk until something breaks. But there's one major plot twist left.
Remember how I said the Kurtzes are anti-vaxxers? Well, the pandemic is still going on. In order to get into the pits, you either had to be double-vaxxed or
test negative every day. Well, there's no confirmation that Ethan was or was not vaxxed (but let's be real), but guess what? In the greatest Chekhov's gun in Battlebots history, he tested positive for COVID the day of the Copperhead fight. Riptide is out their driver for their biggest fight ever.
Other builders have confirmed that this was not the first or only time that team members had to miss days due to testing positive, but previous times either 1) did not involve the drivers, or 2) were in the qualifying rounds where fights could be postponed to following days. But neither was the case this time. Now, this is really a shitty situation for Riptide, and I do feel some degree of pity for them - what a thing to happen. But at the same time, lmao.
Riptide has to spend most of the day deciding who would drive the robot in the fight. The first person they ask? Jack Barker, driver of End Game and 2021 world champion. Jack agreed - can you blame him? Riptide is a hell of a bot, probably super fun to drive, and who knows, maybe he could win another Giant Nut. This got as far as Jack driving Riptide around the test box, before Luke found out and was like "hang on, no. He's not on your team. It's not fair that you can just go to the best driver in the pits and ask them to drive for you." Production agreed and hastily made a new rule where the driver has to be a member of the team. This all was not in the episode, and was only revealed by Luke Quintal after the season aired.
Team Riptide then deliberated between the several members of the team who might stand a chance. They eventually decide on team member Felix Jing, who's an award-winning Vex Robotics driver but has never driven a heavyweight before. Felix seemed to be a nice enough guy, and pretty humble. However, in the deliberations over who would drive, they lose time and are unable to replace their damaged weapon from the Hypershock fight.
So the fight. Riptide box rushes Copperhead, and the first weapon-to-weapon sends Copperhead flying. Luke's bot is still going, though, and goes in for another clash. This goes on for a few hits, until a massive hit sends Copperhead flying up and Riptide flying back - but when they come to, Copperhead's weapon is spinning... and Riptide's weapon is cracked down the middle
, exactly what Copperhead was aiming for.
Copperhead does not let up and keeps hitting, eventually ripping about a quarter of Riptide's weapon off completely
. However, the damage from the last 4 years of fighting added up. Those big hits from Riptide were the final straw - one of Copperhead's two wheels just falls off
. Copperhead can still move, just about, on just one wheel, but suddenly this fight got a lot closer. They keep hitting Riptide, but it goes to the judges after the full 3 minutes.
It's a split decision. Battlebots is scored on an 11-point system - 5 points for damage, and 3 each for aggression and control.
All three judges gave Copperhead three damage points to Riptide's two and Riptide two control points to Copperhead's one.
The first judge scored aggression 2-1 for Copperhead. 6-5 Copperhead.
The second judge scored aggression 2-1 for Riptide. 6-5 Riptide.
The third judge scored aggression 2-1 for the winner... Copperhead!
They did it, they saved the goddamn universe. We will not have to live in a world where the ur-anti-vaxxer and his dickhead kid win Battlebots. Everyone is fucking ecstatic. I cheered. The audience cheered. God probably cheered. And boy, did the pits cheer
- some builders have said this was the biggest celebration in the pits they had ever seen. Tim Rackley of Monsoon
(big lad with the flag) apparently was picking Luke up and carrying him around the pits cheering. Riptide is out
It's a pity Ethan wasn't there to experience his 'humbling event' in person, but it happened. He was there on a video call on a tablet - apparently, production did ask him how he felt and he went on a 5-minute rant about how the team was being forced to face jealousy and adversity because they had to get reweighed. The entire rant was cut from the episode that aired. I've seen conflicting reports if he said "if I was there we would have won," but it would be in character if he did.
Team Riptide used their appeal (each team gets one) to ask the judges to re-review the fight - they did (absolutely fair - you have nothing to lose, anyone should appeal in this situation), and as though to rub it in even more, the sole judge who ruled for Riptide changed his mind
about Riptide's aggression, giving Copperhead a unanimous JD. The saga of Riptide in WC7 ends here.
There was zero drama of any kind for the rest of the season (all 3 fights of it.) All the fights were great, clean fights between respected and respectful teams and robots. Copperhead ended up losing to HUGE
in the semi-finals - no surprise or shame there, HUGE
is designed to be invincible to bots like Copperhead. HUGE
ended up facing the mighty SawBlaze
in the finals, and in probably the best finals match in combat robotics history, SawBlaze
managed to win a unanimous JD, giving SawBlaze captain Jamison Go
the Giant Nut.
Literally zero people were unhappy with this - both Jamison
and HUGE captain Jonathan Schultz
are some of the nicest, most genuine, humble builders in the sport, and going into the finals it was very much a "no matter who wins we all win" kind of thing. Both bots are also "non-meta" - "meta" being the general form of bot that Hypershock, Riptide, Witch Doctor, Copperhead, etc. are, a compact vertical spinner - seasons 3-6 saw meta bots win both first place and runner-up, so people were excited to see a finals match with something new on both sides.
This was very recent, so no news if Riptide will be invited back next year. I would be shocked if they weren't, though - controversy sells, and regardless of how bad the team is, the robot is a killing machine that makes for incredible spectacles. There is allegedly a "sportsmanship rule" being added next year - it's a pity that something that has gone unspoken for decades has to codified in rules because of the actions of one team, but hopefully it will help. Between unethical sponsors, destroying fan favorite bots, being rude both inside and outside the box, cheating allegations, and a stunning lack of humility, Riptide really checked all the boxes in the 'bad guys' field this year.
I could say "the viewing community is willing to give Riptide one more chance to apologize and redeem themselves" but that would be a lie. For the most part, the subreddit, main Discord, etc. are all sick and tired of ever seeing the team again, and would love nothing more than for some cool, nice builder to hijack the bot so we can have cool robots and
cool people. I don't know how the builders feel - I imagine that they're probably not quite as vehemently opposed to the team on average, but there's probably no love lost.
I enjoyed writing this up quite a lot, because it really was a classic "villain defeats the main good guys, but then the underdog comes out of nowhere and saves the day" story. Also Battlebots rules. Feel free to ask me anything about the show, or any bots, or if you want to see some cool bots that I didn't include. And seriously, watch Battlebots, it's so good. Check out /battlebots
- it's the off-season, so the shitposts are about to get real good. I'm running out of characters so the collection of miscellaneous facts I originally had stuck on the end of this writeup is going to be in the comments.
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2023.06.09 00:13 countryrevalution AITJ for giving my girlfriend a “I told you so” after her weight loss surgery backfired
I (19M) and my girlfriend, soon to be fiancé (20F) have known each other for 4 ish years, and started dating about 2 years ago. She’s always struggled with weight but I didn’t care as I love her for who she is and how we are as a couple. When we got together, she worked in health care (and still does) and was making good money. I, on the other hand made next to nothing as a supervisor at a BBQ restaurant. Flash forward to 7 ish months ago, the hospital that she is working at gave her a MAJOR pay cut, whereas her father helped me get a really good paying job in a pipe yard. So I made more money than her, and since I don’t have a car payment like she does (I own my 2 trucks outright), and don’t have as many expenses as she does, I help her out. She’s been trying to lose weight for years now, and I help pay for a lot of it. I even buy her the KETO friendly food (which is absolutely expensive) so she can meal prep. I don’t mind doing this, as I make a good living and don’t have many expenses. Well 4 months ago she heard about a surgery that costs roughly $3,000 called a gastric sleeve. Now personally I don’t like the idea of her having a surgery that would remove a portion of her stomach, and place her on short term disability at work, and I vocalized that I think it would be a enormous financial strain on her, especially since I was leaving for basic training around that time and couldn’t help out with her other expenses. Well this is where things got dicey. Her mother agreed with her about the surgery, as well as her friends, but her father and I were in agreement that at very least she should wait until she has a better paying job (Her parents and I have a great relationship and they consider me family, and still do after all this). I ended up getting tired of everyone trying to convince me to be ok with the surgery, and to which I finally said “Look, I don’t care about how you look. I think your beautiful no matter what. If you want to have the surgery than f***ing do it.” Well she went to the clinic and was told it would take away 20% of her stomach. Ok fine. I even allowed her to use my CARE credit with the agreement that she would pay it off monthly, without delay. Flash forward again to 2 months ago. Basic training was kicking my ass, and all of a sudden, I got sent to the on base hospital where I was eventually told I was being sent home for a liver issue. I was devastated, but it meant I would be home a few days after the surgery to help take care of her. Well come to find out, the doctor lied to her and actually took 80% of her stomach and the surgery costed more than we were told, but that’s not even to most messed up part. My girlfriend still has a car payment, insurance, animal expenses, ect. And her short term disability would pay her just enough to cover these things for the 2 months she’s out of work. Well in order for the short term disability to kick in, the doctor that preformed the surgery needs to send some kind of documentation to her work. We found out today that they did not in fact do that. So her car payment is next week, and she can’t receive a disability check, and I don’t get paid for another week so I cannot help her out. She called me, absolutely pissed, saying “I should have never gotten that surgery. How am I going to pay for my car now?!” To which I responded “I knew that place was shady and I told you this would become a financial nightmare and that you shouldn’t do it. I told you just to get another gym membership with me” which she pretty much said she agreed. AITJ
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