Elf holy hydration spf 30 review

This is what my dermatologist told me in terms of what to look for in products:

• Water based moisturiser
• Mineral sunscreens
• and avoid oils that will clog pores

I considered buying these products because they have some of the criteria the dermatologist recommended but they are not cruelty free. These products and their brands test on animals so I will not be buying:

• Neutrogena
• EltaMD
• La Roche-Posay
• CeraVe

Instead I’m considering these products and would like to know if anyone has had any success:

• Paula’s Choice Clear Ultra-Light Daily Hydrating Fluid SPF 30+
  
• Supergoop! Unseen Sunscreen Broad Spectrum SPF 40
  
• Biossance Squalane + Zinc Sheer Mineral Sunscreen
  
• Pacifica Beauty Sea & C Sheer Face Serum
  
• Youth To The People Superfood Air-Whip Moisturizer
  
• Acure Incredibly Clear Mattifying Moisturizer
  

Hello,
So, I (29M) am taking a proper care of my skin for the last 3 months. I noticed a great, positive impact on my face - I was using this subreddit wiki as the guide.
My routine was pretty simple.
Morning:

1. CeraVe Cleanser
2. CeraVe Moisturising Creme with no. 3 OR Eucerin Hyaluron-Filler SPF 30 (if I stayed home)
3. SPF (50, when going outside)

Evening:

1. CeraVe Cleanser (double wash)
2. Nacomi Retinol + Bakuchiol + Trehalose (0.3% retinol, 1% bakuchiol, 3% Trehalose) -> every day except of Monday and Sunday (break day)Nacomi AHA + PHA 30% -> on Mondays
3. CeraVe Moisturising Creme

My skin tends to be dry, and as I'm gettting slowly to my 30s I noticed some wrinkles, especially around the mouth.
So, I have finished the Nacomi Retinol + Bakuchiol + Trehalose bottle. As I live in Spain, the sun will begin to be pretty intense soon. My questions are:
​

1. Would you be kind enough to review my routine? What can I modify?
2. What I can add to the routine to address my problem with aging?
3. Should I continue with retinoids?
4. If yes, should I drop the Namomi and just buy higher percentage of retinol?

​
Thank you so much <3 You're all wonderful! My face is sooo different thanks to all of you! <3

Full product name : Pilgrim Squalane Ultra Matte Cream Sunscreen SPF 50 PA+++ For Unisex With Omega Ceramides & Vitamin E, Broad Spectrum, Non-Greasy, No White Cast For All Skin Types, 50g
Product link : https://amzn.eu/d/gzqTWSV
Mrp : 489
Key ingredients: squalane, vitamin e and Omega ciramides
Product claims : Broad Spectrum Sunscreen That Delivers A Matte Finish: Broad Spectrum Sunscreen SPF 50 PA+++ Protects from UVA/UVB/IR Damage Offers An Ultra Matte Finish Hydrates & Nourishes Skin. Fragrance-free.
Iam always on the search for matte sunscreen and this one just popped on my ig. Hoping someone might have used it and are willing to share their review.

Hello and thank you for taking interest in my post.
I have been taking care of a stray cat for over 2 months. I have called her Pauline because when I first started seeing her, she was laying in my neighbor's kids' "trampoline" to sun herself. She is probably about a year old by my estimation.
Anyway on to my concern, on Monday June 5, I took her (and another stray) to the vet to both be spayed. Things appeared to go as expected and the spay was allegedly typical. I brought them back home in as good of spirits as I felt a cat would after having surgery. I set carriers outside afterwards and fed and provided water afterwards. They both obviously moved a little slower as I would anticipate, but eventually after getting their fill, they wondered off and did their own things.
For Tuesday and Wednesday, I saw both cats at regular expected intervals of when they commonly showed up. They appeared to be doing well; seemed back to themselves practically. I felt like everything was a raging success.
Thursday, Pauline was late to morning feed. Didn't think much of it at the time, but stayed vigilant looking for her. Finally looked out my window at about 10 am and saw her sitting in her carrier I left out. I initially thought that was adorable she was resting in the cage and went out to feed.
She was not her usual perky self or excited. She was lethargic and listless. I held a treat to her face, and was uninterested. She stood up, and walked away slowly (as if annoyed) and I was concerned enough at that point to call the vet. They asked me to bring her in at 2 pm. I said I would do so if I could catch her again. I went back outside and found her wondering aimlessly. I reached down and picked her up and she made a barely audible cry as I carried her over to the carrier. Her mammeries appeared very swollen. I was worried if she could have had a litter I didnt know about that could have been the cause of this? She put up one initial struggle, and then completely gave in to me placing her inside the carrier (it was much more of a struggle when I first caught her to be spayed).
Went to the vet. Different vet than who performed the surgery. Reviewed the tenderness and belly. Was baffled by swollen nipples. Gave her antibiotic, and some pain relief tablets to administer. Vet tech took temperature and it was 104, a fever. Tech also said she was hydrated. Vet administered an antibiotic and gave me some pills to mix with wet food that was supposed to offer pain relief.
Brought her home and she would not leave the carrier. Couldn't entice her with multiple food options. I set up a camera in her room to monitor all activity (she is isolated from my indoor cat).
She got up only to use the litter box (solid stool) and urinate. Then she immediately lays back down. Occassionally readjusts her orientation, but not moving.
Not much changed throughout the rest of the evening. 3 AM saw her take her first drink of water. Seen her drink a few more times that morning and afternoon (Friday).
I called the vet again in the morning and mentioned no eating. They prescribed some medicine to apply to her ear that is supposed to encourage appetite (and some canned food). I picked up the food and applied the appetite inducer at about 1:30 PM and, alas, still has no interest in eating. She still looked dejected, hunched, lethargic.
At one point she used the litterbox to urinate, and afterwards, went into the bathtub to lay down, further isolation. Went to check on her at about 4 and I saw some dried pink smudge where I assumed she had layed. I worried it came from her belly and then called the vet a third time at 5.
They vet requested I bring her in to be examined. She cried when I picked her up to move her to the cage, not audible. When I set her into the cage, did not even adjust, just dumpy and staring. I was really concerned at this point (still am)
They took her temperature again; this time 99.7...took it twice to be confident. Vet came in and again is surprised by the swollen mammeries. He ran some blood tests, and she had low white blood cells and platelets. He noted she was not anemic. No signs of bleeding. Basically I don't think the tests drew any conclusiveness to what is going on. Tested for feline lukemia, and came back negative. They attempted to do two tests for cat parvo (forget the name of the disease he tested for), unfortunately both test strips did not work and so this was inconclusive.
They administered an IV to give her fluids (she was dehydrated at this point) and they gave her a syringe by mouth of some antibiotic (which I am supposed to administer daily). The vet tech suggested I could syringe watered down food.
So after all that, the blood tests provided no indicators as to what was wrong. The vets conclusion was that she has a combination of swollen mammeries due to hormonal regulation, an infection, and (potentially) a virus?
I brought her home from the vet at 6:30PM. She left the cage at 2 AM Saturday morning to pee, and then went back to the cage. Has not ate or drank.
I am pretty exhausted, worried, and not sure what I can do. I haven't wanted to pull her out of the cage to force feed as I imagine that would be uncomfortable. I would do so if anyone thinks this could help restore her energy, but I feel like letting her rest for the evening.
Anyway, I am up late, concerned, and turning to reddit for any advice or suggestions for anything more I can do to care for this girl. I feel a lot of personal guilt for her suffering right now and am trying to do the right thing.
Tldr: Took two strays to the vet to be spayed Monday. Appeared to be doing well for first 2 days. Found cat listless and despondent in carrier two days later and took her to vet Thursday. Vet baffled by swollen nipples, administered antibiotic and gave me pain meds to administer in food. Cat refuses to eat. Haven't seen her eat since Wednesday. Has drank water occasionally and used bathroom (peed and solid poop). Called Vet Friday worried about food intake and continued lethargy. Prescribed medication to apply to ear to encourage eating. Applied and was still concerned with lack of energy. Saw her laying on towel and tub with some light thin red discharge. Called Vet again and went for another appointment Friday. Performed blood tests that were inconclusive. Tested for feline lukemia and was negative. Administered IV and gave antibiotic by syringe (I am supposed to administer for a week).
Cat has only left carrier to urinate once since afternoon visit.
Any additional consideration or advice is immensely appreciated.

Headphones come in 3 basic tier - Budget(0-100$) , Mid (100-300$) , High (300+$ ). How much difference of audio clearity and separation difference is between these price ranges ? Score these 3 tier on scale of 1-100 as if 100 is real life .
For example- Percentage of uv light blocked by different spf sunscreen. SPF 15-( 93% ) , SPF 30-(97%) , SPF 50-(98% ) SPF 100 - (99%).
SPF 30 and SPF 100 have a difference of only (2%) but SPF 100 is way more greasy and thick . It’s like diminishing return .
Which is the least expensive headphone that, after using it, you won't feel that the XM 5 or Apple's Max or other expensive Sennheiser headphones are significantly better ?
Score these model on scale of 1-100 as if (100 is real life )and h5 is phonecall on 2g dumb phone) .
Apple wired earphones,
Salnotes Zero ,
Airpods 2 ,
Marshal major IV ,
Sony xb910 ,
Skullcandy crusher evo ,
Airpods pro ,
Sony - xm 4 ,
Sony- xm 5 ,
Sennheiser momentum 4 ,
Airpods Max ,
Audio-Technica ATH-DSR9BT .
These are most reviewed and highly rated 4+ on amazon india , sorted according to price .

● Age range: female in early 20s
●Current issues: Extremely dry lips with hyperpigmentation.
● Climatic condition : Hot and humid(coastal TN)
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 💫MY REVIEWS💫 

1. NIVEA LIP BALM( ORIGINAL CARE ):https://amzn.eu/d/7SLqg0B- Rs.119 in amazon.

https://www.nykaa.com/nivea-essential-care/p/2219?se=0 Rs.112 in nykaa now
🕑🕑Usage time: 3months. Used both AM and PM🕑🕑.
This was the first ever lip balm I tried and it did nothing. Didn't hydrate my lip did nothing to my lip, neither good nor bad. -WNRP ❌️
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1. SEBA MED LIP DEFENSE SPF 30: https://amzn.eu/d/99LtnbU- Rs. 499 in amazon right now. I used to buy for Rs.410 .

https://www.nykaa.com/sebamed-lip-defense-with-spf30/p/4742?se=0- Rs.387 in nykaa right now.
🕑🕑Usage time: > 2 yrs ( not using right now since I switched to minimalist).🕑🕑
I used this both AM and PM🤡( Yes I used spf lip balm even in PM🤡 because I couldn't afford another better lipbalm at PM since this itself emptied my pocket🤡) This was the 2nd lip balm I got after switching from nivea. This was my hg....I loved this lip balm soo much❤️. It helped me protect my lips and also it helped to heal my dry lips. On continuous reapplication I could see fading of tan on my lips to some extent but it recurred if I forget to apply lipbalm for some long time.Moisture retained for about an hour and its kinda lightweight and not heavy on my lips. Didn't give any white cast too. I used this until minimalist lipbalms were launched .I stopped this only since I found minimalist lipbalm quite affordable, other than that its one of the best lip balm I had ever tried.- Hg WRP💖✨️
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 💫CURRENT LIP ROUTINE💫 

3.SUGAR Tipsy lips moisturizing lipbalm-02 cosmopolitan-Rs.185 https://www.nykaa.com/sugar-tipsy-lips-moisturizing-balm/p/886175?skuId=886169&se=0
🕑🕑Usage period: just a week.🕑🕑
I always wanted to wear tinted lipbalm when I go out since I'm not much into makeup and I decided to try this. This is moisturizing and the tint is also beautiful it worked well for me for a week and later I don't know what happened I got tiny little bumps on my lips and my lips got swollen suddenly. This had never happened to me before on my lips. I don't know if its due to sunexposure or this lipbalm since I used this on my vaccation and at that time I had similar bumps on my face which gave burning sensation but my face wasn't swollen like my lips. I had those tiny bumps, later became swollen within a day and skin on my lips started burning and peeling and that was a nightmare for me. This lasted for around 10days and it healed completely only by continuous use of minimalist spf 30 lip balm. I'm sacred to try this lipbalm now . I just saw cherry and strawberry variant in sebamed lipdefense in amazon. May be I may buy those in future for tinted lip balm and never this.- HF WNRP❌️.
[I was using this lip balm in may 2023 , it was nearly 42°C in my city . So I don't know if this lipbalm is the culprit here or the Sun🌞. and I also didn't use any spf lipbalm beneath that since I felt the tint was lighter when used on top of spf lipbalm)
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1. MINIMALIST SPF 30 LIP BALM:Rs 284 https://www.nykaa.com/minimalist-spf-30-lip-balm/p/7898705?se=0

🕑🕑Usage time: from nov 2022 till now- only in AM🕑🕑
I kinda have love hate relationship with this lip balm. I bought this along with l ascorbic lip balm . I used this replacing my sebamed lip defense. It has thick consistency, is hydrating for quite long time until you have food but give slight white cast. So I thought I would buy sebamed again once this gets over . To be honest I didn't use this regularly like I used sebamed. Because I felt sebamed was convinient to reapply everytime but this wasn't because I feel I need to wash my hands everytime to use this. BUT THEN CAME THE TWIST, I decided to experiment with sugar lip balm and I had explained that disastrous event happened before...THIS BECAME MY SAVIOUR💖 ..for those 10 days I only used this lipbalm both AM and PM and I reapplied this lipbalm continously for every 1 hr and it literally healed my lips and gave a soothing feel when applied....and from that moment I decided NOT TO REPLACE THIS LIPBALM and this became my hg💖....now I use this continuously and regularly with l ascorbic acid lip balm and helped to fade my hyperpigmentation to a greater extent. I don't know if that's because of this or l ascorbic acid but i will definitely repurchase this lip balm. - WRP💖💖💖💖💖HG✨️✨️✨️
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1. MINIMALIST L- ASCORBIC ACID 8% LIPBALM- Rs.399 https://www.nykaa.com/minimalist-8percent-l-ascorbic-acid-lip-treatment-balm/p/7898706?se=0

🕑🕑Usage period: from nov 2022 till now- only in PM🕑🕑
I have been using this along side spf 30 lipbalm from minimalist only in PM . It's not too hydrating like spf 30 variant but its decently hydrating. It did help to fade my hyperpigmentation on my lips. I use this regularly everynight before sleeping. Texture is like balm and easy to apply when it's in normal room temp or if the temp is cool but I noticed in summer that this lip balm's texture became like ghee and was difficult to use. I kept in my refrigerator that time and it came back to its original balm kind of texture - HG WRP💖✨️
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UPDATE: I had pigmentation on my lips for a very long time. Initially I only used l ascorbic lip balm from nov 2022 religiously in PM. I was too lazy to apply minimalist spf lip balm in my AM routine as I mentioned in my review above. I did this for nearly 4 months. At that time I didn't notice much of changes...few days when i wake up I feel my lip has lightened a bit and later at the end of the day it feels like I had got all my hyperpigmentation back.
I was religiously using minimalist spf lip balm (AM) with minimalist l ascorbic acid lip balm(PM) only from this march and that is when I noticed improvement in my hyperpigmentation. I'm still in the process to get rid of the hyperpigmentation I acquired for years.
So what I learnt from this is if you're using l-ascorbic acid lip balm from minimalist kindly use any spf lip balm of your choice and reapply regularly. It takes longer time to fade years of hyperpigmentation.
( All these don't apply if you have any medical conditions. Kindly treat your underlying medical conditions first by approaching a doctor in that case).

To remove my make up I've been using the Elf Holy Hydration cleansing balm and love it but I've found nothing that actually helps get all of the mascara and lash glue that gets smushed into my lash line. I figure I may also need micellar water for that area too as my cleanser doesn't fully remove it either. I've tried the blue and pink Garnier micellar water and they turn the corners of my eyes and eyelids red and puffy make them sting. I also don't use waterproof mascara.

I pulled her card from my lockbox today. I couldn’t bring myself to remove it from its wrapping though. I’ll explain the card in a little while. Even in just that briefest of moments though, the tears became too thick. I so wanted to see her name. Instead I decided to only go back to the memories. They bring enough tears. So I put the card back but need to tell my story of that memory. So thank you for your time in letting me indulge dear Reader. I know your time is precious and I am loquacious of a sort.
The place I used to work at a long, long time ago, Croc’s, was an odd duck. It was a Transformer of sorts. During the day and early evening it was a damn good Mexican restaurant. One of the best in town. Lunch was insane. Dinner was a respite. But on Friday, Saturdays, some Thursdays, and almost every holiday eve, it was… I don’t even have words. Nothing like what went on in those walls had been seen in Denver at the time. We had lines around blocks. The plural is not a mistake. On those nights, Croc’s was THE place to be in Denver. The owners got there before everyone else and had hit a jackpot with the place. The Rockies were starting over at Mile High and moving to LoDo soon. LoDo was booming and we were in the middle of it partying like no tomorrow every night.
But this isn’t about that amazing place, that’s for another day. Nope. This is about her, her son and I. Or rather, about loss and memories. But it all started at Croc’s and you needed to know what a breath of a moment in time we shared there. Not on one of those crazy nights but one lazy Sunday when we were pretty slow.
I mentioned the restaurant was an odd duck. See, it was designed so that from breakfast through dinner and into very early evening, it was a purposeful, full-fledged, extremely popular, and well reviewed dining establishment. But after that, it was designed so we could remove every table, chair, stool and booth. We essentially turned the whole restaurant into a giant dance floor with a bar that spanned half the distance of the long wall topped with massive tequila and booze pyramids. The wells were at either end with a plant potter behind them for storage. It was split level(ish) with a few VIP areas squirreled away. State of the art DJ booth on the south end of the bar. Oh and did I mention we had a 28 foot replica of a Nile croc suspended from the roof named “Hal”.
The owners were a group of friends who had grown up in the business. One of them was from the family that started Senior Frogs and the like down in Mexico. They had all met and worked at some of the hottest places in the state and been to some of the craziest places around the Americas. So when I say no one had seen anything like it, they hadn’t. We had a person that would blow tequila from a custom bong into a partier's mouth from 30 feet away. Our DJ’s were the best in town. We poached the absolute best in talent from every bar in a 4000 mile radius. That movie “Cocktail”? Yeah, that was this place on steroids. Hell, beside myself and 1 or 2 other guys, our security eventually turned into off duty SWAT cops. All these places around Denver and, hell, around the country you see now? Yeah these guys started it right there in LoDo.
It was the paper and crayons we would put on every table though where my memory begins.
There had been other places that had done what we did with the butcher block paper. It went on every table with crayons. It wasn’t the most innovative thing there but it was fun and the patrons enjoyed it. Many great artists out there! And of course the kids loved it. A lot of the folks who lived around there would bring their kids with them for lunch or dinner. I worked a lot of Sunday day shifts because a) everyone was hung over and never wanted to work and b) it was usually a nice bit of quiet after two nights that would make Caligula jealous. Plus the people who did come in were usually pretty cool and just out for a good meal. It was pretty chill after all that joyous chaos.
My section was usually the front lifted area just in front of the potters and a few tables in the middle. I was splitting with the other server that day since it was more dead than usual. A beautiful Colorado day back then. Blue sky with puffy clouds. Perfect temperature with no wind so the front doors to the small little patio were open. You could smell the flowers from across the street. The other server let me know she had sat a couple of people at one of my four tops. Sounded good so I headed out to say hello.
It was customary for us to write our name on the paper when we showed up. It was hokie but everyone loved it. It was our way of saying welcome and have fun! Some servers could do it upside down but I could never get the hang of that.
I headed down the bar toward the front, preoccupied with getting my marker out for the intro. I remember coming around the corner of the potter and just kind of coming to a juddering stop at the top step, tripping and almost falling on my face. Luckily she was a little preoccupied with her son and getting him situated so she missed seeing me make a gobsmacked fool out of myself.
I luckily regained what little balance I could alongside some composure quick enough to walk up and say hi. She said hi and then kind of waited. “Oh yeah dumbass” I said to myself as I told her, or rather flubbed, my name as I wrote it in the corner so they could read it right side up. She giggled a little bit as most people did with my nickname at the time. I hadn’t noticed but her son had been waiting the whole time for that moment. He grabbed his crayon and wrote his name and her name in front of them. “That’s a good name isn’t it?” I asked him. I told him it was the same as mine but the longer version. He was a little surprised by this as I went by “Scooter” back then. It took a second but he quickly realized it was a nickname. He had signed the long version of our name and said that’s what he liked. Right on man, you got it. Damn smart kid. You can tell, ya know?
After that briefest of moments, I shook myself a little and introduced myself for, I think the fourth time now. She tells me her name but it is instantly gone. Not only because of the effect this moment is having on me, but just because I am bad with names on the first go around. I don’t think we heard what either was saying anyway. Our eyes were locked and in that moment, it was all that mattered somehow. I can remember how deeply they shined. Her hair was a little damp and unkempt like someone in a hurry but has that respect for herself. Dark like her eyes but shining from the light outside. A simple blue/light purple and white striped shirt. Slightly damp around the shoulders. Worn jeans. Not the designer type but jeans aged with a good strong life. Blue canvas deck shoes with the white souls if I remember that part right. Maybe black canvas. I saw all this without ever breaking her gaze.
It was as if in the same moment we both realized we were in the same place together but not there alone. A moment later we both found ourselves apologizing for talking over the other. Sheepishly, like teens on their first date. Giggling a bit. Not knowing what was happening but knowing that something most definitely was. I apologized for the awkwardness and I think I cracked a joke or something but neither of us knew what to do. There was a calm panic and, I dare to say, a longing that was unknown?
It was her son who brought us both back to reality. He had asked if we had Coke or Pepsi. I shook myself internally again and told him we had Coke but could find some Pepsi if he really wanted it. Luckily he was not a Pepsi kid. I also told him that, yes, I would be happy to add a cherry to it. This time though when I met his eyes, I looked at myself when I was that age, as I answered that question. I hadn’t noticed it. Like a mirror as they say. Dark brown hair full of cowlicks. Round face with a big smile. Getting that cherry meant the world to him. I remembered that same feeling again through him. It was like looking at a version of myself I only saw in pictures.
At this very second in time I remember being terrified. Not “scared” terrified. It was more like, holy shite is this happening? What is going on? I wanted to turn and run and hide but somehow regained what little composure was left in that split second. I turned back to her and saw that she had just seen what I had seen. I could see wonder, joy, confusion, happiness, peace, thrill, fear and hope that I am sure were being reflected in my own eyes. We both needed a few minutes. We each could see it. It was overwhelming. Again, not a bad overwhelming but one of those moments where you need to put your hands on your knees and take some big, deep breaths.
The whole 3 or 4 minutes were surreal. And I will never forget them. I will fight as hard as I can to hold onto the others I have of both of them.
Somehow I managed to Charlie Chaplin myself away to get their drink order. I believe hers was a Sprite with a lemon. Normally I would go right around the corner of the plant potter and get the sodas from the guns there. Instead I went all the way to the back station. I needed to breathe. It seemed like an hour but I headed back. By this time the son was going to town. He had talent and it showed. It seemed like we had regained ourselves somewhat but the whole meal was kind of like an episode out of a teen comedy. We giggled, laughed, blushed, and did all the other things you would expect to see from two teenagers who discover they like each other. It wasn’t like I was trying to stay with them, or they tried to keep me there. It just kind of happened. I’d start to go away and she would ask me back for something simple. I would bring something I had forgotten in case they needed it. The whole meal went that way.
When they were done and ready to go, I was dreading it. Should I ask her out? She had mentioned she was single. It felt like I should ask her out. Like I said, the whole visit was surreal. There was no ring or even a suntan line of one (Don’t judge me, it was a different time). I wasn’t seeing anyone either. We seemed to get along amazingly, both her and her son. Even my fellow server noticed and was egging me on. It was obvious. Doing something like that with a client back then happened. Not usually in the first 30 seconds but you never know. I made up my mind to walk them out as I had no other tables and see what happened. I took the check to the table. She was packing her bag. I had gotten a refill for his togo cup and handed it to him. He said thank you and said he drew something for me. They had carefully torn it from the paper and he handed it to me. It was the three of us holding hands. How I held the tears then I do not know. I was a different person there at that precise point in time. At this moment those tears are here though.
I bent down to his level and thanked him sincerely. He said he was glad I liked it and he hugged me. I heard her try to stifle her gasp. Thank any or no gods or whoever for him. He let go, grabbed his Mom’s hand and said he was ready to go. As I stood up I could see tears welling in her eyes. He hadn’t done that to another man in, what she said, was a very long time she would tell me in a quiet voice as we started to walk toward the door. That was it. I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t even noticed that when we got to the big double doors, he had grabbed my hand. It just was there.
By this time I do not think either of us really knew what to do or what was going on. I mean, this was an impromptu outing to a place her son had liked because of the paper. It was a cheap and good lunch and then off to wherever for them and another table for me while I rolled silverware in the back or stocked the empty quicks from the previous night. But it seemed like it had been years together but only moments, if that makes sense? I certainly did not know what to do at this point. I think I mumbled what a delight it was to be able to spend time with them and I hoped they had enjoyed themselves or something like that. I honestly could not tell you. By this time she had regained herself somewhat. That girlishness turned into an elegance, beauty and strength that I had not seen before. But those same feelings exchanged in that momentary glance were still there. As was still a bit of moisture along the bottom of her eyes. We made a bit of small talk till he got a bit antsy and wanted to head off.
As we said our goodbyes that day, almost at the same time, we asked our questions. I asked if she would like to come by again soon with her son. His birthday was coming up I think and I could get the guys in back to make him something special. At least I think that was it. Her’s was if it would be ok if they came back soon. You know because the little guy liked drawing and the food. More childish giggling and laughing. And before she left she gave me her card and said to call if I was going to be working again on a Sunday or just whenever. As they walked together, hand in hand down and around the corner, I just stared at them and then the card over and over.
That very card I put back in a safe place tonight.
She was a designer as it turned out. I didn’t pry into her past as it sounded like it wasn’t all that great at times. She came by the restaurant a few more times after that. I then called once or twice to say hi and how they were doing and to let her know to come by. Eventually she asked me out. We spent some time together and it started to get a little more serious. She was a few years older but not by much. She was driven and forthright. Quick witted and compassionate. And such a good Mom with a massive heart. I was young then, somewhat good looking, fairly well paid and worked at the hottest spot in the state. And I had this woman I couldn’t get out of my head. Even my coworkers knew and could see what was going on whenever we were together. Either just the two of us or all three of us. Walking on clouds was an apt statement. At this point I want to point out that while I am no saint whatsoever, I do consider myself a decent person. At least I was back then and for the most part today. Things have changed as they always do but I digress.
Eventually the moment came. The serious date. She had a small but fantastic apartment downtown and wanted to make me dinner for once. I don’t think she was done asking before I said yes. We set a date for later that week. I remember it was a Saturday because me taking a night off from that place, with all its amazing moments each night to the amount of money you walked out with each night to leaving one of the other bouncers with one of the other guys he wasn’t used to, was a pretty big deal. Had to call in favors but everyone just said go. No one there batted an eye. They all seemed to know what a big deal this was somehow.
We set it for a little later in the evening so I could get things in proper working fashion up front of the house and then head over. Any of you who have worked in a restaurant know that smell you get. Kind of need to have worked in that environment to know I guess. So that night, I didn’t have time to head home then come back. So I had a change of clothes and a vanity bag so I could clean up in the back. Wouldn’t be the first time I got sprayed down by the dishwasher but probably a first for this reason. Cleaned up pretty well, freshly shaved and quaffed, walking so far above Cloud 9 I lost track of which one I was on. Headed out to put the work kit and bag in the truck. On the way out a few who knew what had been going on smiled or waved.
And off I went. I was a little late but she said she had expected it given the night of the week. Back then, downtown Denver was different. Colorado was different. I guess everywhere was different back then. But in this instance, I mean in an architectural way. You didn’t have the towers all around LoDo as you do now. From some rooftops you could still watch a sunset over the mountains. Say what you will, even I have to admit that a purple and orange sunset over the mountains is quite possibly the most beautiful natural thing I have seen. It is immense but oh so fleeting. Just like our lives I guess. You could still hear birds and bugs over cars at times. I wouldn’t say it was peaceful but it was at least calm?
She was lucky as her apartment, though smallish, came with a hidden bonus. Her window allowed her to access the roof on the next building. A part of it anyway. But this little slice of hidden wonder allowed a view down Market Street, across Spear, over Auraria and then the mountain view. It was stunning. Like the apartment, the space was just cozy enough for two to enjoy a little rooftop barbeque and dining. She gave me the quick tour and we poured some wine. She was going through the menu as we “headed outside”. The door was a small little window. I remember scratching my head and thinking I may not fit out there. She handled it with the grace of a ballerina and said I could do it. It took a minute or two but I contorted my clumsy self outside. And she was right. It was spectacular.
Not just the view but what she had done with her little corner of peace. She had talked with the building owner who agreed that she could use this space as he didn't even know about it. It was like something out of a commercial today. A nice little seating couch type niche. Well built trellis with some small Christmas lights for effect. A little brick grilling area with a hibachi going. I can still smell it. The table with candles and dinnerware. Decking. I was taken aback. The way it was situated insulated her from the sounds down below. You could hear them but it was almost like distant white noise. It was just peaceful. I remember remarking about this. She said she discovered it by accident when her son thought it might be a good play area.
Dinner was wonderful. The night went on. There wasn’t a sense of time. Just us there in that little part of the universe that was only hers. To this day I do not think I felt that safe before anywhere nor since. Someone was letting me into one of their most sacred spots. Literally and figuratively. I felt privileged. Almost as though I was treading somewhere I shouldn’t be. I think that thought was my downfall however. Don’t worry dear Reader, you will understand all that very soon. We watched that sunset. It was perfect. The right contrast of colors. Just the right amount of clouds to change those colors ever so slightly. A reminder of how something can change for the simplest of reasons.
As night grew darker it started to get cold. The goosebumps we were feeling on each other's skin holding hands and looking at the stars weren’t just from feelings. It was getting cool so we moved inside. After safely dousing the grill and making sure the coals were in their proper place, we cleaned up. Since it was easier, I stayed outside and handed them into the house to her. We figured it would be safer for the dishes. Giggled some more as we came to realize more and more things about each other at the same time. Finally the outside was clear. I stood outside for another minute to take in what was happening. I think that is then that little bit of fear weeded its way in without my realizing it. This was as close to perfect as I could ever dream I thought.
After squeezing back inside, assisted again but ok with that, we cleaned up the dishes and opened another bottle of wine. The inside was just as cozy. At some point she had lit some more candles and had some soft music going. Light jazz if I remember. Not loud at all. Again, there, just outside the periphery. Sitting on the couch I can feel her sitting next to me. We are close. Two people holding each other wanting to believe but not sure if this is real. There was almost a vibration. The constant goosebumps were not because of the cold anymore. Once we were both comfortable and we just talked. For hours and hours. There were the intimate moments but nothing scandalous. A tenuous kiss from one to the other.
We talked about what two people talk about who truly want to know the other. I believe we asked as many honest questions of ourselves as we did of the other. We really, truly, wholly wanted to know each other. And that is what we did. The more we talked the more comfortable we felt. Each of us had our scars that were not easily revealed. Nor did we reveal all of them that night and guarded them well. But we each wanted to know if the other was someone we could trust with those deepest places that we all hide in the darkest parts of our soul.
We talked a little about her son’s father but not in depth. It was easy to see that was one of the scars. We talked about her son. Why she was so astonished that first day. My heart wrenches this very moment dear Reader upon remembering that. Her hopes for him. His likes and his dislikes. Some of the stories parents tell others to embarrass their children later in life. We talked about what futures there could be not for us but for him and his world. He really was an amazing kid and I am sure has grown up to be someone she can be proud of. Time did not exist that night. Feelings and thoughts were exchanged that did not need to be said. We just knew each other that night.
We never did finish the second bottle if memory serves, we talked, laughed and sat together in peaceful comfort and gave no care about anything else. But tomorrow was coming as it always does and we had to leave each other. I remember the closeness as we held each other. The pressure of two bodies at that singular moment in time. That one instant that feels as though it could last through infinity. When two become one and feel the safety, love, compassion, trust and sameness that is rarely, if ever experienced.
Pardon me dear Reader but must ask a moment to compose myself. We are getting close to the end of my tale so also ask for just a bit more of your time. I know how so very precious it is. Thank you for allowing me to continue.
I do not know how long we held each other. To this day I wish it had been so much longer however. I do remember leaving. Working where I did, I was sadly but actively very familiar with many different levels and types of inebriation. That feeling that morning however was something that surpassed all that I had experienced in my life. I had never felt like this. I knew that the sun was starting to come up as I parked my car. I knew that I got through the door, downstairs and then fell asleep. I wasn’t drunk. It was pure. A pure love, happiness, joy and trust I had never felt from someone else. This feeling was so powerful it had knocked me for a loop that I just was not ready for.
I awoke later that day, thankful I didn’t have to work. It was late in the afternoon and I felt like I had been hit by a bus but didn’t care. I believe that the night before we both had excised many things that we had held inside for so long. I could (and can) still remember the whole night if not the words. I felt like one does after you give everything physically possible to something and have nothing left to give. But it felt right. Regardless of the ending, I do believe that, even though brief, that night, two people who had needed to find each other did. I think they needed to know that there was at least one person who understood, even if they hadn’t needed to actually say anything.
Now dear Reader I must ask you to remember that part about fear. Given my early life and life up to that point and to this day, I do find it very hard to trust. So this was something I had to confront. And so I started to. Instead of seeing what she saw in me, I saw the things I thought were ugly. I got scared that those scars would be peeled away and she would be repulsed. And these thoughts and fears grew. We still saw each other and talked for a while after that night. But my fear took over quickly. Before I knew it I had driven her away. There was no maliciousness about it. The thoughts that had ruled my life for so long before her and then after her, to this day, always got to the same thing. If you let her in, she will leave because of who you are. It was idiotic but it was ingrained at this point. I eventually told her I didn’t think it was going to work out. The truth was that I was scared. Scared to let her in. I hated myself for not being honest with her. She would have understood. Probably more than any other.
After that, I went on with my life as a young person does in that atmosphere. I saw her one time after that final talk. She waved as she and her son sat in a section away from mine. I waved back and remembered going out back and beating the hell out of our cooler there. I was so mad at myself then. While the anger passed as life threw one thing at me after another as it does until I find myself here today writing this, the pain of losing her has never healed. Nor do I want it to. That pain also brings memories that I so rarely experience anymore. I buried it for a long, long, long time but recently I find myself thinking about her and her son more and more. What would have been?
For you see dear Reader, that moment was my perfect chance. Not long ago in my life I was diagnosed with cancer. I eventually beat it but it has long since ruined my life. But that is not why I tell this tale. I ask for no sympathy. My life is where I am supposed to be. I have come to peace with that. To an extent I guess anyway. The reason it was my perfect chance is this. I was also diagnosed with a genetic defect which essentially makes me a cancer producer with no natural way to fight it. My mothers father died of colon and pancreatic cancer. My Mother has beaten 5 different bouts of cancer. I have been tested and confirmed. So if I had had a child, I would more than likely have passed that to them. After listening to what my mother watched her father go through. After watching my own Mother fight this monster 5 times and win each time. After all that I was horrified to learn that I could have passed this monster to someone I would have loved with all my heart.
I never married and never had a child. For most of my life I regretted that most of all to the point of shame. I am the last person in my familial lineage that will ever carry my name. My line dies with me. For the longest time that has been a great burden. However, after the geneticist confirmed me and a great deal of internal contemplation, with the aid of hindsight, part of me is glad that I never had a wife and child who would have to go through the horrors I have heard about, watched and gone through first hand and personally. That at least brings me a modicum of inner peace. Do not be fooled ever though. This monster is evil. It takes everything from all but the luckiest.
And I had my moment of perfect chance. Even though I did not know it at the time, I had an opportunity to spend the rest of my life with two someones who I truly believe to this day, loved me. Even if for so very briefly. I gave up the chance to be able to be a husband and care for someone I believe I loved and loved me. I had a chance to be the father I wanted to be without passing on my monster. To see a child grow into their best self. I get angry at times that I did this. Not necessarily my own selfish needs. I am also mad that this person trusted me and I couldn’t do the same in the end. That I let a child down who for his own reasons let me in when he shut others out. That we could have been the family we could have been. And I ran because I was scared. I can never forgive myself for doing that to them. This may sound selfish and perhaps it is but it is my history.
And now dear Reader we come to the end of my tale. Where it all began.
Her card.
I think you will understand why I put it away instead of taking it out after this. I mentioned that she was a designer. Her card is exquisite. I don’t need to see it to describe it. There is a silver cord ribbon wrapped around a waxed paper tied in a bow. It sparkles silver but is brittle after all the years. I can slide the card out carefully but don’t want to take a chance of damaging it. My hands aren’t the best anymore. The writing on the card is done with a most excellent penmanship in purple over white with black. The backing is white with the black used as border highlighting with purple as the border and main color. There is a bit of sparkle in one of the purples but not a garish amount. Just enough to catch the eye. The back is similar with details of her work at the time as well as some contact information. I don’t know if she did this on all of them, but there was a scent of her perfume that accompanied it for a while. It, like much else, has faded.
We all have a place to keep our most precious items. This one rarely leaves that place for me.
So in the really bad times dear Reader, I try to look at that card. I say try because it is very painful to try to do so. Today was one of those days and I wanted to share it. In the end I couldn’t get past the tears to look at it so returned it to its safety. Not really because of the pain. Believe me, the pain is there in vast amounts. But because of that first moment. I needed to remember what that feeling was like. I needed to remember what it is to look in another's eyes and see the whole universe and all its infinite possibilities. Some regrets, regardless of time, will always follow you. Be honest about that with yourself dear Reader. Today I needed to remember her and him. I needed that acceptance. That peace. That joy, That trust. That love.
This time however I needed to commit this to our history so that perhaps at least one other will read it and maybe it will impact somehow. This is not meant to be a moralistic tale. It is just a tale of love lost. A life that could have been different. I hope, dear Reader, that your life is filled with wonder and love. Do not miss a single chance in your life because of fear. Be cautious but be open. Your world is massive but also miniscule. The chances don’t happen often anymore so grab them and hold onto them when you can. Try to think of all possibilities and look through others' eyes. But most importantly. If you do find your perfect moment, do not let it go dear Reader. It may never come again.
That is the end of my tale. I thank you so much dear Reader. As I have said many times, your time is precious and I have taken enough. Safe journeys to you my friend.

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26, female, 4’11, 119 lbs, Hispanic. I have a rash that appeared today both on my arms and neck. This is my first time ever seeing this.
I was out for at least an hour both sun and shade on the trails in the Grand Canyon. It appeared within 30 min of hiking. I only noticed it because my arms became hot and itchy. I made sure to hydrate with water and apply mineral sunscreen often. The sunscreen I use is “BOTANICAL SPF 50 MINERAL SUNSCREEN LOTION” from Australian Gold with Titanium Dioxide 4% and Zinc Oxide 4%.
I don’t think it’s the sunscreen alone because I’ve used this sunscreen for weeks now everyday.
Rash is just itchy now for a minute throughout the day (not persistent).
The only medications I take are birth control Junel Fe 1/20 and 5 mg of Lexapro. I’ve been taking these consistently for 2 years.
Links to photos: https://ibb.co/X2t5dCc https://ibb.co/6r90xT2 https://ibb.co/TbyqjPD https://ibb.co/Wymcqgk

TL;DR: After 6 months, my LASIK journey has been great. Despite experiencing initial visual changes, dry eye, and discomfort, I now enjoy 20/15 vision and have no regrets about the procedure.
Things I learned

1. Find a conservative doctor who is willing to deny bad candidates. Typically, this is the “best” doctor in a major city with a lot of 5 star reviews.
2. Satisfaction rate is around 95% for the procedure. 1 out of 20 aren’t satisfied.
3. If wearing glasses or contacts is a negligible burden for you, LASIK is probably not worth it. It’s possible to permanently mess up your vision, but it’s very rare if you are properly screened before.
4. The machine does the surgery. The doctor doesn’t really do anything other than identifying good candidates. Might be worth making sure your doctor uses the latest machine.
5. Most people have some “higher order aberrations” (HOAs) in their vision before surgery. Afterwards, they temporarily or permanently get worse. Before LASIK, I took photos of every halo, glare, starburst, etc that I saw and documented it. It gave me some comfort though that I never really noticed HOAs with glasses until I paid attention. Right after surgery for 1-3 months, I noticed that they all got worse. Eventually, they all went away, but even if they didn’t, I would have been ok.
6. Have reasonable expectations. You are most likely going to have some new HOAs or worsening of existing ones after LASIK. Is that acceptable to you? If it’s either perfect vision or nothing, you probably shouldn’t do it.
7. If you are getting myopia corrected, you will still need glasses in old age as you get farsighted. Most people with normal vision become farsighted as they become old. So, you likely will need nearsighted glasses again in your 50s.
8. LASIK, SMILE, and PRK all can correct vision, but I’d go with the one your doctor recommends. You probably don’t understand the risk factors as much as they do. Wavefront LASIK has the largest history of evidence, and similar outcomes to SMILE (which is newer but not necessarily better). PRK has a very long recovery time.
9. Fluctuations in vision after are often caused by dry eye which is almost guaranteed after LASIK. Use a lot of eye drops, stay hydrated, and blink a lot. It should recover after 6 months.
10. This subreddit disproportionately skews towards people with bad outcomes who will freak you out if you read too much. The vast majority of people are fine.

Day-by-day of my first 30 days
Day 1: Adjusting to Post-LASIK Changes. Upon waking up, I noticed several visual changes after LASIK. My contrast sensitivity decreased, making night vision less clear. Halos surrounded Christmas lights and clocks, while white text on a black background emitted a white glow with a halo about 7 times the length of the light on each side. Low-light environments appeared blurry and hard to see. Street lights and car lights exhibited halos approximately 5 times larger than the light source. Overall, dry eyes, creating a hazy effect and further decreasing contrast.
Day 2: Lingering Symptoms and Eye Fatigue. While the dry eye seemed to have improved, I found myself putting in 14 medicated eye drops a day, which made me wonder if the relief was simply due to hydration from the drops. The symptoms remained similar to before, with halos, glow, and tired eyes easily fatigued.
Day 3: Continuing Recovery. Dry eye symptoms persisted, and I continued using the prescribed eye drops. The visual effects, including halos, glow, and tired eyes, remained consistent.
Day 4: Unchanged Visual Symptoms. No significant changes were observed in my visual symptoms. Fluorescent lights at work contributed to an office "haze" effect, adding to the overall discomfort.
Day 5: Temporary Return of Dry Eye. Mild dry eye returned, possibly due to lack of sleep, causing intermittent discomfort throughout the day.
Day 6: Morning Blurriness and Mild Dry Eye. Upon waking up, I experienced temporary blurriness in one eye, which quickly returned to normal. Dry eye symptoms were minimal in the morning.
Day 7: Gradual Improvement with Lingering Dry Eye. Mild dry eye persisted, but I noticed a significant reduction in the intensity of halos. Uncertainty lingered whether my vision was truly improving or if I was becoming accustomed to the changes.
Day 8: Mild Dry Eye after Restful Sleep. After a restful night's sleep, I woke up with mild dry eye, indicating that the recovery process continued.
Day 9: Lingering Dryness and Momentary Blurriness. Mild dry eye persisted, accompanied by momentary blurriness in one eye after showering, which resolved within 10-20 minutes. I couldn't determine if the discomfort was due to dryness or the inadvertent contact with ointment.
Day 10: Minimal Dryness in the Morning. I woke up with very mild dry eye, and one eye exhibited slight blurriness in the morning, gradually improving as the day progressed.
Day 12: Occasional Burning Sensation. Occasional burning sensations occurred while applying eye drops, indicating potential dryness and sensitivity.
Day 13: Temporary Redness and Confirmation of Dry Eye. Upon waking up, my eyes appeared red, which subsided after about an hour. I visited the doctor, who confirmed the presence of dry eye and recommended staying hydrated by drinking plenty of water.
Day 14: Continuing Mild Dry Eye. Mild dry eye persisted, remaining consistent throughout the day.
Day 18: Most days followed a similar pattern, with mild dry eye. Uncertainty arose whether my vision was improving or if I was adapting to the changes. Work lights still caused a "haze" effect, and street lights exhibited halos about 1.5 times larger than the actual light source. Some car lights appeared blinding.
Day 21: Growing accustomed to halos and starbursts, with subtle visual effects. Some glow observed around white text on black backgrounds, but it was only noticeable when actively paying attention.
Day 22: Reduced dependence on eye drops, experiencing minimal dryness. Forgot to use eye drops, and may have caused burning eyes at midnight.
Day 26: Slightly dry eyes in the afternoon occurred for the first time in a while.
After Day 26, I basically forgot to document anything else since my vision was basically normal. 6 months later, I barely notice any higher order visual aberrations (if there are any) and very rarely have dry eyes now (occasional drops). And I still 20/15 vision. No regrets.