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I'm afraid of losing my identity to being a mom and being okay with that

2023.06.09 17:08 LtCommanderCarter I'm afraid of losing my identity to being a mom and being okay with that

So I have a nine month old and let me tell you I enjoy being a mom more than I ever thought I would. Like I wanted to be a mom but I love my daughter in ways i could have never imagined. I take vacation days sometimes because I just want to hang out with her. On the days I work from home (she's watched in home by my in-laws) I look forward to work breaks so I can get my baby kissing in. I love my job and I have a "cool" job but if it had made any financial sense what so ever I would have insisted on becoming a SAHM. I never ever thought I would say anything near that.
I love cooking her food, I love taking her to the park, I love "lazy mom" moments where we just watch Bluey. I do still find it all very difficult (especially figuring out what food to make hehow to play).
But among all this I tell myself I need a hobby. Something outside of work and baby that's my thing. But sometimes I wonder "what if my daughter was my hobby? What if I just devote my quiet moments to being the best mom I can? To making the best meals? To making sure she gets engagement."
Her dad has hobbies. He's a good dad but he has video games and a professional association. If I decide to just be a mom with my spare time I'll become the "default" parent. What would that say about me and my feminist ideals? What example would I be setting for her?
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2023.06.09 17:08 TalkativePrecinct This happens to me nearly every day

This happens to me nearly every day submitted by TalkativePrecinct to depression_memes [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:07 jackstinky Is dating no longer an option for me?

Hi there, I (28M) am just trying to get some advice on dating. I don't want to bore you all with details, but I have spent most of my life in nearly complete solitude. I never had many friends, and I haven't had any for the past few years. I haven't been on a date in the last decade. I honestly thought I was happier this way, but the truth is I was just dealing with some very severe mental health issues, and just didn't have room in my life for other people. The issues are subsiding, and as they leave I'm starting to realize how painfully alone I am.
I want to get into dating and meeting new people, but I just don't know how. My social skills are severely stunted, and I can't read body language to save my life. I try having conversations with people I meet, but I have no idea what to talk about. I've been told people like to talk about themselves, but my experience has yet to prove that.
Lately I've been afraid that it's just too late for me. Because I never developed social skills, I'm afraid it's too late to even try. I want to date, I really do. I want to find someone who loves me as much as I love them. I'm not looking for a quick fuck, I really want to find companionship. But I'm just so awkward and strange. The last thing I want to do is be a creep, but my while life I feel like people simply don't want me around.
Can anyone share any advice or recommend any resources for me? Or am I right in thinking it is too late, and should just focus on embracing a solitary life. And before anyone recommends bars, I don't drink. And while I don't have a problem with people who do, it seems like it would be an early deal breaker.
Thanks in advance!
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2023.06.09 17:07 Huge_Sandwich5272 I (19M) received bad, unexpected news from my girlfriend(18F)

I (19M) received bad, unexpected news from my girlfriend(18F).What do I do? So I want to start from the "beginning" because our relationship is not very long. So: I like my girlfriend since the summer of 2021, and she started liking me from the end of 2022. (We have known each other for about 5 years from the current date). She took the "first step" and confessed this to me at the beginning of March 2023. From then on, we started dating. We were very close, and we have been officialy together since 15 May. everything went well, we understand each other, we love each other, of course there are also "arguments", but not so serious as to affect our relationship. sometimes I saw my girlfriend was sad, and I always asked her that. her answer was always like: "no", but I knew her quite well and always wanted to talk to her. she told me that this upset is related to her problems and that she does not want to talk about them. I kept insisting, I kept insisting, but I couldn't do anything, so I gave up and told him that if he ever wants to talk about it, I'm here, present. I always try to make her laugh, to become more smiling. he didn't always seem to have this upset, but he was starting to get "sad" more often. and today, June 9, I went to school, we met, everything seemed ok. I got home, we talked again, we sent each other messages, he told me a few more things, and then he said something that I can say just upset me and from here I want to start reading the whole conversation:
her: "you know I want to talk to you about something. something serious and I don't know if it's that good" me now?" she: "I don't know, if you want I'll tell you now, if not, tonight" me: "tell me now, if you can" she: "ok, I'll write in the notes and come back" me: "since I heard that it's not good, I already want to cry, but I'm waiting here, I have to listen" her: "promise me that you won't cry, nothing, otherwise I won't tell you" me: "you have to tell me" her: "you have to promise me" me: I can't because I might not fulfill my promise, but at least I try her: so I dont want to talk anymore but only for two weeks and you haven't done anything wrong, I'm not mad at you, I'm not doing this to talk to someone else or anything like that. I just want to be "alone" for a bit so I can put my things and thoughts in "order" and I hope you don't get upset and understand me because I'm really not ok and that's the only way I'll be able to be again ok and sorry (She doesn’t want us to talk for 2w- this means exactly when im done with one of the most important exams in my life) Her:and that way you will be able to learn without being distracted Me:love, do you think this is best for you? Her: for both of you that there are 10 days left and you take the exam Me:but are you sure you want to do this? Her: Yes Me: ok, know that I'm always here if you need to talk to someone and I'd be happy to. and I'm sorry that I couldn't help you with anything and maybe I noticed that you were sad and I tried to make you talk if "you don't feel ok", but maybe I didn't try hard enough, sorry Her:why sorry, nothing is your fault, you did everything you could, I really appreciate you knowing Me:still not enough. I hope that in the near future you will be able to discuss anything with me and I'm sorry that you couldn't discuss and want to talk about your "problems" and everything that bothers you and doesn't make you feel good Her:and I hope Me: and I still hope that, in the near future, your problems will be our problems. I know that life is hard sometimes, but together we can make everything easier and together we can overcome all the problems and apologies again. and I will do my best to respect your wish. now I don't feel too well and I want to go to bed.. I'm sorry, and just so you know, I love you and I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you when you needed me Her:ok, I understand and thanks and I don't want you to think about it because you didn't do anything wrong and you have no reason to feel bad for it and I want you to focus on your studies and the exam, not to think about this thing me:ok, i'll try *seen 5h ago”
Please, i need help. should I leave it like this for 2 weeks so that it becomes ok again? I think he would go deeper into his thoughts and I don't know how good that would be. should i go and try to talk to her?
submitted by Huge_Sandwich5272 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:06 throwsauceaway My Legal Writing grade went from a potential A to a B because of participation/attendance

Just need to vent about this.
I got a B in Legal Writing II, a class that I thought I was doing very well in considering half the students seemed to be illiterate or not care. My graded papers were 22/25, 23/25, and 25/25 so I was expecting an A in this class. When I saw I received a B I sent an email to the professor a week ago. They just got back and confirmed that I got a 10/25 in participation, which left me with a B.
I am nearly 40 years old arguing over my grade with a professor and administrative staff member who I am pretty sure are both nearly a decade younger than me. I am in no way gunning for a 4.0 to become a SC clerk or whatever, but I am still trying to graduate with the best GPA I can and this has left me just... speechless.
Admittedly, I wasn't very active in the class, but I would have put myself in the middle of the pack in terms of participation. The professor didn't take attendance and I did miss about 3 classes but, still... I am just stunned. It never even crossed my mind that my grade would be in jeopardy of being dropped, let a lone by this much.
What are we doing here with law school grading? I feel like a sucker for paying for this. I now have to show a potential employer this grade that does not reflect my skillset whatsoever because of school policy.
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2023.06.09 17:06 soc_cafe Okay celebrated too soon :')

Still going to be getting my name and sex change, but there's been ANOTHER delay. My divorced parents fucking hate each other so it's been near impossible to be able to get them to just sign some forms. Been fighting them to make a couple of signatures and then stop into a notary for OVER A YEAR NOW. It's not that they're not accepting which is one of the most frustrating parts. They're just lazy, don't wanna take the time out of their days and hate each other. Today I finally got them both into the DMV and apparently, the one I chose is by appointment. I went to another DMV in town like 6 or so months ago which wasn't by appointment (just for them to tell my mom she did the forms wrong) so I stupidly didn't check if I needed an appointment for this one. Thankfully they made an exception and got my dad's signature notarized, as well as all the witness signatures done, and now just my mom's needs to be completed which is gonna happen next Tuesday. Still excited that it was happening, but especially in that moment I was extremely frustrated that I couldn't just get it over with already. I'm pissed that it's taken so long to sign a couple of forms. I tried my best not to seem frustrated at the license centre but I couldn't help but feel pissed at yet another setback. Mostly I was just quiet as I didn't wanna be rude, but my mom got pissed that I didn't seem happier. I told her I was frustrated and that it's always just 'one step closer' rather than just being done with, and that all of this should have been completed ages ago. She called me selfish and rude and said I should be grateful that she, my dad and my aunty came to get everything done today. I'm grateful, I'm just frustrated that it's taken so long. I don't feel like it's selfish to feel frustrated with the delays, but I feel shitty about acting out.
Anyways this is more of a vent than anything else, and I'm not particularly looking for any advice since it's almost resolved. Just angry about the situation.
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2023.06.09 17:06 AlarmingWheel3399 A beginner's manual to hichhike

What you'll read relates to my hichhiking experience. I hope it will be helpful. It's my personal experience and data so not all of the tips are supposed to be prescribed for everyone. You can help improve it in the comment section.
1- Choose a straight section of the road,
rather than standing where the road turns. There are two important reasons for this. Firstly, standing at a turning point increases the risk of getting hit by a car that has no visual on you. Secondly, it is the most dangerous spot for cars to stop. It is also best to avoid bridges altogether, including the entrance, on the bridge, and around the exit area. Tunnels are a bad spot for hitchhiking too.
2- Your face is your profile,
so keep it visible. Avoid wearing sunglasses, as drivers need to see your eyes within the brief one or two seconds they have to assess you and decide whether to stop for you or not. Without your eyes being seen, it can be difficult for people to trust you.
3- Stay Hydrated and fresh. Even if you're exhausted and have been waiting for a ride for hours, try not to show a hopeless posture. A tired posture screams: Not fun to travel with! Remember that hitchhiking is an exchange, and drivers often pick up hitchhikers for pleasant conversations. They may be looking to stay awake or simply bored of staring at the road. So what they really don't need is two more eyes staring at the road. It will be awkward he may drop you off sooner. They look for someone to have a cool chat with. When someone offers you a free ride, be generous enough to share some words, stories, or jokes with them.
4- Trust your guts
and Say no to risky rides. While it's not to say that expensive cars never stop, they usually don't. But you don't get to decide who will pick you up. There are cool people driving all kinds of vehicles. From big trucks to SUVs, Old sedans, sometimes fancy cars and even tractors. They will choose you. So stand there and wait for your turn to come. Usually the one who you don't expect will stop for you. You need to filter the bad ones as well. Dangerous drivers are also out there. be ready to say no and reject the creepy ones or the risky rides.
6- Always have an escape plan,
in case something goes wrong. However, being overly insecure can make the driver feel untrusted and offended, which might provoke negative behavior. Stay relaxed and confident, knowing you have an escape plan if needed. What you really need to know is that the driver is the vulnerable one. Cause at least one of their hands will be busy controlling the steering wheel. Their legs are busy down there as well, and they can not get their eyes off the road for a long time. Remember, in an emergency situation, which the driver wants to harm you, or changes the destination without your consent, your left leg will controls the brake, and your left hand will hold the steering wheel, giving you full control of the car and the ability to stop it quickly if necessary.
7- Stand where cars are parked
while waiting for someone to pick you up along the road. Look for parking lots near the road, gas stations, road restaurants, and similar places. Drivers of parked cars will have more time to observe you, analyze you and see your vulnerable humane side and understand that you're just someone in need of a ride, without any harmful intentions.
8- A smile goes a long way.
Don't forget to smile. It breaks the ice and proves useful when interacting with strangers.
9- Avoid standing too close to passing cars
or excessively thumbing for a ride. Someone who intends to pick you up will do so. In my experience, it was often when I stopped caring too much that someone stopped for me. They notice you standing there, so stay calm, enjoy watching surroundings, and trust that your ride will come. Being overly stressed about when your ride will arrive only makes it harder for you to get that ride and also will ruin your experience.
10- When it gets dark hitchhiking becomes challenging, and sometimes you have to walk along the road. Choose the opposite side, the side where oncoming traffic approaches. This way, you'll have a clear view of the cars coming towards you, allowing you time to react if they come too close. Use a blinking light or your phone's screen or flashlight to indicate your presence to drivers. There are applications available with red blinkers or siren lights that can be handy if your phone has enough battery.
Goodluck! Best regards to the asphalt!
submitted by AlarmingWheel3399 to travel [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:05 Butterflyboys What are the requirements to become a stewardess on a super yacht?

Hello! I am a 29 year old female from Australia Perth. I am looking for advice on everything I need to get work on super yachts as a stewardess? Perth there are no training academy’s for this they are all over East on the other side of the country. Is there places in Europe or near the next season location that have great training schools? Or places people would recommend?
I am looking at doing it in the next couple months and understand the season in the Mediterranean is almost over, so given the time any tips of where I should get myself to to have the best chance for the next season?
I have been hairdressing for the past 10 years working for myself the last 2 years but in between worked for almost a year in a house keeping position (because of covid) away from home and actually loved it! Along with this have worked in hospitality/kitchens. I love working with and being around people. Meeting people from all walks of life excites me so much! I understand the work will be hard but I am prepared for that.
I have googled alot and end up going around in so many circles So any advice and help would be amazing!
Thanks so much in advance
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2023.06.09 17:05 -Involved- Stone chippings - damaged headlight - County Council

Hi Folks,
Road works done on a road near me had put down stone chippings
This was in a 50kph zone - through a little village.
There was no stone chippings signage - reduce speed signage nor works in progress signage - nada - nothing at all!
I've after getting a cracked/chipped headlight, and loads of damage to the paint on the front and side of my car after someone in an Audi Q5 flew around the bend where the chippings were and flung it at me. I don't think he knew the roadworks/chippings were there.
I phoned the county council and they have told me none of their crew were in the area today. (the chippings/road works weren't there when I drove to work this morning) I feel like they are lying / fobbing me off?
Can I claim against the council for the damages? Does this go through your car insurance or am I better yet getting onto a solicitor. I genuinely don't have the funds to get the damage fixed myself, my service is coming up and that's always expensive..
Anyone who has claimed against the council, could you let me know what the outcome was?
TIA.
Edit:
County Council rang me back and told me to email their claims Dept. With photos of the damage and any evidence to support the claim. Should I first get my car damage assessed before sending on the photos and video of the road in question? (I took a video as proof of no road signage before ringing just incase they went back out with the signs)
TIA.
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2023.06.09 17:05 Malice_draven The Cure @ St. Paul - worth the trip!

The Cure @ St. Paul - worth the trip!
After the struggle to get tickets and deciding at the last minute to go to St Paul since Chicago was sold out, booking the trip, losing my job 2 months later, nearly cancelling the whole thing because of it...I'm so happy I made the trip. As always The Cure put on an amazing show.
I was floored at how amazing Robert still sounds. The band is so tight and has good chemistry on stage. I like seeing the little moments between Robert and the crowd or Robert and Simon. Setlist was fantastic and even had some surprises! I'm glad I mostly avoided spoilers! I've been fortunate to see The Cure 3 times before and they still blew me away last night.
It was a long day for sure and a really shitty couple of weeks but this show made me the happiest I felt in a while. What an amazing evening.
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2023.06.09 17:05 MAJPODGE Has anyone seen So Help Me Todd?

Someone suggested the CBS show called So Help Me Todd and as a Psych fan, I'm really enjoying it! It's obviously no where near as amazing as Psych lol, but it's got a similar vibe, great chemistry between the main leads, entertaining side characters, well thought out cases and is a fun watch.
The premise is Todd, a PI with some off screen issues with his license (no, it's not out back in the Cessna) who starts to work for his mom's law firm as a detective for her cases. It's got the same procedural structure, interesting family dynamics, an off limits love interest etc etc. I swear the lead has actually seen Psych bc some mannerisms are very Shawn and there was one quote that seems verbatim.
I'm only like 4 eps in so if it takes a turn for the worse, then my bad. But I like it so I wanted to let y'all know too!
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2023.06.09 17:05 KamchatkasRevenge Out of Cruel Space Side Story: Of Dog, Volpir, and Man - Ch 224

Sir David
Sir David suppresses a sigh. He couldn't say he hadn't been expecting a conversation like this. He gestures to a nearby bench and sits down, leaving Ariane room to scoot in next to him.
"Well firstly, I'd say you're my wife now. My surname does sound nice on you. A bit faster than I wanted to move perhaps, but let's call it a battlefield promotion."
Ariane offers him a half hearted smile. "Except I fled that battlefield like a little girl with her tail tucked between her legs. If I am your wife then my place is next to you. I can fight. You know I can fight David."
"Darling, in the end I'm the trained combatant in the family, and getting you out of the line of fire was my absolute first priority. This isn't to doubt your abilities, I think you're perfectly capable of defending yourself, but you don't have an Undaunted brand for thermal protection against a race known for fighting with fire, or any other covert protection. Nor are you an adept. You're immensely physically strong, far stronger than me even at your reduced size... but you're not a killer my dear... and I am."
Sir David sighs for real this time, but doesn't move his gaze from Ari's eyes. He had to meet her head on with this sort of thing. Take wife by the horns if you will.
"I don't want you to be a killer. It's my profession, I have no shame in it, for I end the lives of wicked people so good folk can sleep soundly at night. I did so on Earth, I do so now. I put myself at risk to protect the people I care about. My children. My grandchildren. My wife... and now my wives."
Sir David gently takes Ariane's hand, their fingers interlacing naturally.
"So if given a choice to ensure you're as safe as you can be, even if it means putting me at more risk... I'll always take the option that means you are as safe as possible. Even if that costs me my life. That's my promise. My oath. My duty was to Queen and country, and now to the Undaunted... but I took those oaths for Mary, my children... and now you."
Ariane nods softly, clearly still a bit upset.
"I ah... I understand, I think. I suppose I'm a bit upset with myself more than I'm upset with you. I was just... so scared. Even as I was incredibly, violently angry I was terrified... and the relief I felt when I ran was... shameful to a degree. Leaving you to die maybe. It hurt me a lot, like a razor was tearing at my guts. I just thought about what I'd do if you died or got hurt because I wasn't there and I-"
Tears start to well up in Ariane's eyes just a touch and David wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in a bit closer.
"There, there. I didn't die. Nor was I going to. Not to trash like that. Nor is fear a shameful thing. Fear is a natural response. I get scared. Captain Bridger gets scared. Even Cannidor get scared at times. Usually of me or Captain Bridger in my experience. Anyone who says they feel no fear is a liar, a fool, or psychotic. Or quite possibly all three. Soldiers train to overcome their fear to accomplish significant things... but you my dear aren't a soldier."
David caresses Ariane's back, stroking down her spine and drawing a sigh from her as she relaxes a bit, tension bleeding out of her body.
"You need to master your fear just enough to flee smartly, summon help, barricade yourself, or as a last measure, fight. Which you did today. Just like you did on the Talasar Spire when you saved all those children. You're quite the heroine from just doing those things you know? You don't need to do more. Nor, if my preferences at all matter, would I wish you to. You're a beautiful soul to me Ari. I adore how fresh and bright you are about the things in the world you love. I want you to focus on that. Focus on being a joy to this galaxy... and to me. Instead of worrying about the profession of arms that is not your own."
Ariane sniffles a bit, then plants a kiss on David's cheek. "You know, you play the hard, tough, man, with that almost piratical swagger of yours... but you're just an old softy aren't you?"
"Guilty as charged my dear."
"I uhm. I think I'd still like to learn how to shoot. Or something. Just be better able to defend myself... and our children."
"Heh. Well I think we can take care of that... though I'll note that wasn't at all subtle Ari."
Ariane leans over again and kisses David hard on the mouth this time, her tongue briefly tangling with his and leaving him breathless.
"No. That wasn't subtle. I fully intend to reward my knight for gallantly protecting me, and you'll see just how unsubtle I can be David Forsythe."
"I'll look forward to it then. To close the loop on our previous conversation though. You know that if you had been even a talented markswoman with a pistol I'd have still sent you running at the earliest circumstance right?"
Ariane nods, nearly knocking one of her horns against David's head.
"I understand."
David gives her another gentle kiss on the cheek.
"Capital. Like I said, even if you're capable, your best defense is avoiding a fight entirely. You should only fight if you absolutely must. That's why I fought in the court yard. Not because I could win, but because we didn't have a clear or safe avenue of escape. As soon as we had such an avenue I got you out, and were I alone I'd have fought a fighting retreat to follow you in hopes of moving to a more defensible location. Or getting help from the wardens of the Inner Shrine."
"Which is exactly the type of behavior I have to beat into new recruits." Comes the now familiar smoky voice of Miri'Tok, as the click of her heels on stone announce her return to the room.
"I'm terribly sorry about the wait, police procedure is tedious, even for clear cases of self defense. David I'm told you have a bounty hunting license, so you'll be receiving some credits for their heads. Not extremely bad girls, save the boss, but bad enough to be worth some money. The local police are paying out a bonus for the living ones. That blue haired girl apparently won't shut up; she's rolling on her old boss so enthusiastically they had to bring a synth in to transcribe it all. It's going to be a busy couple of days for the capital district police force."
David nods. "Take half for yourself would you? I hardly need the credits and you did the lion's share of the dangerous work, I just had a little target practice."
Miri'Tok laughs. "Ah the sheer gall on your husband Ariane, a little bit of target practice he calls it. Some of the cleanest shooting I've seen in years with gangsters with rap sheets that combined stretch from here to orbit and it was just a bit of target practice! Hah!"
Ariane and David join in the laughter this time, the room returning to a hospitable warmth as Miri'Tok seats herself on a bench near the couple.
"I must compliment you as well Ariane." Miri'Tok says, orienting herself more squarely to the Agela.
"Me? What did I do?"
"You kept your head in a dangerous situation and didn't go to pieces like a great many women would have. This is a great deal of credit to your name. Even Apuk civilians, socialized to violence from birth, can go to pieces when real violence is forced upon them."
David nods.
"More or less what I was saying dear, you did a splendid job getting us help. If things had gone a bit more poorly, it's help we would have direly needed too."
Ariane's smile returns to her face like dawn for David, warming the room up even further as she snuggles a bit closer to him.
"Well if you're both telling me that, who am I to argue?"
Miri'Tok chuckles, and rises. "I'm afraid I must actually return to my duties, I've lingered longer than I intended. I'll take you down the hall and leave you with the Wardens in their ward room. Nar'Jan and the girls have been preparing an impromptu victory party for you both. Just a little toast, then one of the girls will give you the full tour of the war shrine. You're both welcome in the Inner Shrine whenever you please, so please come back while you're on Serbow and they'll gladly receive you."
Miri'Tok turns to leave, only to be stopped by Ariane tugging on her sleeve. When the Apuk warrior turns, Ariane holds up her communicator.
"Before you go let's exchange contact information. I really enjoyed our time with you, and I know David did as well. Perhaps we can meet again soon? Without another fight preferably."
"Oh!" Miri'Tok gets that same dusky tone that David associates with a blush in Apuk.
"I uh. I'd like that. Perhaps dinner or something? I know some great places to eat in the city."
"Sounds wonderful, I'll send you David's contact information later once I have a minute."
"I ah. Thank you. I'll look forward to it."
Miri'Tok offers a bow from the waist and quickly hurries away, the echo of her heels fading down the corridor.
David raises an eyebrow and looks over at Ariane.
"You know, when you said you were going to show me how unsubtle you could be, I was expecting something a bit more... intimate shall we say."
"So let the knowledge that things can get even more forward make you wonder at what tonight holds when we get back to the Tear."
David chuckles, caught entirely off guard with the sexual aggression from the normally demure Ariane.
"You're showing me all sorts of sides of yourself today Ari. Still, that really was a bit too forward wasn't it?"
Ariane cocks her head, giving David a slightly confused look.
"What? She's an excellent candidate for a third wife. Better to preempt her asking a bit so we can take the time to discuss it, and it doesn't hurt to put the welcome mat out when to my eye she's so accomplished and so obviously interested. Plus she'd be a good recruit for the Undaunted from her decorations. She's a very skilled warrior even if she's not a battle princess. Though she might be a princess. You never know. She's not wearing a crown, but apparently a lot of the battle princesses in service to the Imperial military skip the crowns outside of formal occasions, instead only going by their ranks."
Another eyebrow raised, a common thing when Ariane was in the mood to surprise David it seems. "Where did you learn all that? I haven't the foggiest about how to read Apuk decorations."
Ariane shrugs. "When I finished that book about your unit back on Earth, Eastern Approaches, I read a book or two on contemporary Apuk martial culture. I thought it might come in handy."
"So what does your reading tell you about Miri'Tok?"
"Well as she said she's an Apuk Imperial Marine. She started as an enlisted woman, and has done a century of service at least. She's done at least a dozen combat deployments, and numerous space deployments. The difference being specifically going to a conflict zone, and floating around on an Apuk Imperial Navy vessel looking for trouble.”
Sir David doffs an imaginary cap. “An activity I heartily approve of.”
Ariane rolls her eyes with a smile before continuing.
“She has five wound medals, an even dozen valor medals in varying grades and has been named as a member of an Imperial martial order. Knights for lack of a better word. Not all that dissimilar from you really if you'd had another forty years with the Royal Marines and SAS. Then there's a variety of competence awards that aren't as important. Suffice to say, Miri'Tok is very good at what she does."
"Hmmm. Yes I could see that in the fight, and you think she's interested in me?"
Ariane rises, and saunters the step or two to David slowly, placing her hands on his shoulders and leaning down to kiss him deeply.
"Darling, from her axiom she's single. From what she tells us about how her family treats men and views sorcerers, you're literally one in a billion... and she got to fight alongside you. I've heard Ghorza Bridger crowing about getting to fight side by side with the Captain at a bar on the promenade after the Talasar Spire with the same enthusiasm most girls save for a once in a lifetime present or getting pregnant. I also could tell that her shield sisters were green with envy. Well. Greener than normal anyway. If Miri'Tok wasn't interested, I'd be worried she'd hit her head in the fight. Plus her body always seemed to be facing you, except when she was speaking directly to me."
Ariane stands back up and tucks some of her hair back into place, with an exaggerated attempt at a glamorous, flirtatious pose..
"Well, with such a gifted potential candidate it wouldn't exactly be a hardship to share. I'll just have to take solace in the fact that I'll always have a bigger rack than her."
David's eyes naturally drift downwards from her face, considering the rack in question, only for a slightly embarrassed Ariane to stick a finger up to direct his attention back upwards before covering her reddened face with her hands.
"My horns David. I meant my horns. I have bigger horns than she does."
It takes every fiber of discipline he's ever possessed for David to suppress the cheeky grin that desperately wanted to plaster itself across his face, and to tame the school boy giggle fit he so dearly wanted to have. He stiffens his upper lip like a proper British gentleman and manages to dryly respond.
"Well my dear, let's not talk about other women. You have a fantastic rack and I look forward to appreciating it later tonight."
Ariane shoots him a look, clearly over acting her slight embarrassment into mock outrage, playing along with her husband easily.
"Now you're doing it on purpose!"
"Yes, but you're cute when you're flustered."
"You're impossible David Forsythe!"
"That I am Mrs. Forsythe."
Ariane chuckles, and leans over, planting another gentle kiss on his lips.
"And I wouldn't have it any other way."
First Last
submitted by KamchatkasRevenge to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:05 fatdaddyray 29, should I try lifestyle changes before meds?

So I'm 29 and have generalized anxiety disorder.
I've been paying more attention to my blood pressure recently because I've always had "white coat hypertension" and been wanting to make sure it's not always as high as it is at the doctor's.
I went to the eye doctor recently and when they took me BP it was 160/100 lmao. I was near a panic attack because doctors give me very high anxiety, but this spooked me good. Now the mere act of taking my blood pressure gives me anxiety.
I've been trying to monitor at home and have gotten some higher readings.
I'm using wrist monitor which I've been told aren't super accurate.
My readings this morning taken one hour after waking up:
133/89 140/90
Are these high enough that I should be going and considering getting on medication? I'm fat (6' 0", 270) but have been working on changes. I've lost 25 pounds over the past year and am still going.
I'm really hesitant to get on meds because to be honest I just hate being on any kind of meds.
I also like to drink coffee every morning and drink a few beers throughout the week and worry meds would make me change my lifestyle too much.
So I know y'all aren't doctors and can't give actual medical advice, but if you were me, what's the play here?
submitted by fatdaddyray to hypertension [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:05 Major-Albatross8922 AITA for telling her she better not embarrass me in front of my family?

My GF and I (both 25- together 2 years) just graduated college and we went back to my families farm out of state because they wanted to celebrate our graduation and we wanted to house shop anyhow. GF has met my parents multiple times but hasn't met anyone else in the family and everyone was going to be here. We were given the downstairs guest bedroom. I guess this was an eye opener for me as to how my GF is. I already knew she wasn't big on crowds but I didn't expect it to go like this.
So, my family is semi-large I guess. I have 4 siblings. They all have kids. I then have my 3 aunts and 2 uncles and their significant others. And there are 2 family friends here. One is my sister's best friend and the other is a mTf transgender "Jackie" that I've known since LONG before her transition (back when she was married to her wife/mother of her children). I've noticed that most of my GFs issue is with Jackie. Not for any other reason aside from her being extremely invasive and will follow you around engaging you in 20 different conversations at once and doesn't exactly know boundaries. She just never, ever stops talking honestly. And between her and the family dogs, my GF is becoming like.. pissed almost.
So basically every morning when we wake up (being woken up by the dogs because the door is busted and they come in the room to jump on us at 5-6am) we will go out to get coffee and Jackie immediately corners my GF to engage her in conversation. To a point where my GF has been looking at me in the morning and saying "get the fucking dogs out of here" and if I asked if she wants coffee, it's a "I'd rather not be ear r*ped as soon as I wake up, thanks". And now, whenever Jackie comes near us or to our doorway to talk, my GF has been "checking out" and refuses to even look at Jackie. She will turn the other way, for instance. It's embarrassing. We are only here a few more days so I told her "you better not embarrass me. Please suck it the fuck up for 3 more days". She immediately snapped at me and told me that she's put up with this "BS" for over a week and when we get back home she's considering leaving because "she can't be with someone with a family so fucking invasive. Who tf talks someone's ear off from 6am to 11pm every fucking night?". She also went off about the disrespect because they don't even try to prevent the dogs from waking us up. They laugh it off. So I said "Do what you want but don't fucking embarrass me when we are here." She's been taking off during the day and won't answer my calls/texts.
submitted by Major-Albatross8922 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:04 MrArmageddonTTV I Made The Forbidden Behemoth Build More Broken (+video inside)

Hello Guardians,
First, I want to talk about a very new and unique interaction that makes Behemoths almost unkillable when played properly.
Now I previously did a post about the niche 3-Stack Behemoth strategy, which I called the “Forbidden Build” (HERE).
But in short, three Guardians run Behemoth, wear Hoarfrost-Z and continually create and break stasis crystals, thereby constantly farming overshields, all the while while advancing towards and then securing the zone.
But with Season of the Deep, Bungie introduced a very special weapon - the exotic Strand trace rifle from the new dungeon, The Navigator.
The Navigator’s exotic perk is that firing this weapon at an ally grants Woven Mail to both the user and the target - while also refunding bullets to the mag.
And that’s when I asked myself: Is it possible for me to be more of a piece of shit than last season?
See, I discovered that Woven Mail actually STACKS with all of the Behemoth damage reduction buffs in PVP.
Check out the video here: https://youtu.be/pPshtZQFwtk
Of course, as usual, I'll summarize everything below if you prefer to read.
---

Damage Reduction

That’s right… Behemoth now has THREE separate ways to reduce damage or grant damage resist, and they all stack.
  1. Whisper of Chains, which grants a 15% global damage resist when near a stasis crystal
  2. The Rime Overshield, which grants +100 HP when you have max overshield; and now
  3. Woven Mail which gives you 25% damage resist to body shots.
Stack these three forms of damage resist, and all of a sudden, you can literally eat a Jotunn shot to the face and shrug it off.
NB: Your Rime Overshield does not take less body damage with Woven Mail BUT Woven Mail + Whisper of Chains DR do stack once you're on normal shields/HP! You can see the first part of the video for demonstrations.

Behemoth Buffs

Now I get it, you might be thinking… OK, you basically added Woven Mail to your last Behemoth Build. That’s clever, but is that it?
Nope. Not even close.
Behemoth was buffed across the board with Season of the Deep, and it seems like people still haven’t realised yet. So let’s talk buffs.
  1. The Shiver Strike melee was buffed and now goes faster and travels further. This is noticeable in regular play, but it gets crazy when you pop super. The Behemoth shiver strike melee whilst in super is absurd - we’re talking Beyond Light stasis levels of movement and speed. Check it out for yourself.
  2. The Howl of the Storm melee is now easier to use and freezes in a wider cone, making it a reliable and absolutely nasty shutdown ability much like it was prior to the nerfs.
And lastly, Trials is no longer vanilla elimination, it’s Zone Control. In other words, not only was Behemoth directly buffed, it was also indirectly buffed because the main game mode of endgame PvP is quite literally tailor made for the Behemoth kit.

Build Overview

With the build that I’m about to show you, you’ll get:
- Three separate forms of damage resist
- Near infinite ability uptime
- Supersonic movement tools;
All of which, played in the Dominion game mode, where those tools have the most impact.
So let’s get to the build.
First things first, this is a TEAM BUILD - in other words, you NEED a 3-stack of Behemoths - so be sure to send this video to convince your friends to stack up together.
Also, what’s devious about this build is that it’s VERY accessible. You do not need to be an insanely cracked PvP player to make this work. You know that saying that: “God made man, but Samuel Colt made them equal.”
This Behemoth team build is the great equaliser, and when used properly, is so utterly broken and stifling that you will beat teams that you have no right beating.
---

Aspects and Fragments

So for the Triple Behemoth build, you need at least two other teammates running Behemoth and ALL of YOU need to equip:
- Tectonic Harvest; and
- Howl of the Storm
In terms of fragments, you will want to equip:
- Whisper of Conduction, which means that nearby stasis shards track to your position. This way you don’t have to actually go and pick up your stasis shards, they’ll just float over to you and get absorbed. It also gives you a pretty nice stat boost of +10 to intellect and +10 to resilience. What a bargain.
- Whisper of Chains, which means that you will have damage resist when you are near frozen targets or a friendly Stasis crystal. It also grants you a very nice +10 to recovery.
- Whisper of Shards, which means that shattering a stasis crystal will grant improved grenade ability regeneration. Shattering more crystals will ended this effect. This fragment also grants you +10 resilience, yet another fantastic stat boost.
- Whisper of Rime, which means that collecting a stasis shard will give you a small amount of overshield which lasts 10 seconds. Collecting more shards adds to the overshield and extends the duration.
In terms of abilities, you will want to equip:
- Glacier Grenade
- Shiver Strike; and
- Rally Barricade.
---

Exotic Armor

As for exotic armour, for this specific build, you will need to use Hoarfrost Z, which you can get from farming Lost Sectors. Hoarfrost turns your regular barricade into a giant wall of stasis crystals. Remember to use the rally barricade for a lower cool-down, as there’s no difference in the size of the wall when using rally barricade with the Hoarfrost chest piece. So it’s the same wall but with a lower cooldown than using towering barricade.
Alright, so remember how Tectonic Harvest means you create stasis shards when you break crystals? And stasis shards give you free over shield because of Whisper of Rime? And breaking those crystals gives you faster ability regen for more crystals cos of Whisper of Shards? Which in turn leads to more shards, and even more over shield?
Yeah.
See, three Behemoths together can literally produce an infinite amount of crystals by using their grenades, their howl of the storm melees and even their class ability when you use the Hoarfrost Z chest piece.
And infinite crystals means… you got it! INFINITE OVERSHIELDS.
But wait there’s more… Those overshields also stack with the 15% damage resist you get when standing nearby any friendly crystals. AND with the new Navigator Exotic Trace rifle you can also stack a layer of Woven Mail on top of all that.

How To Play The Build

So this is how you play the build. You figure out where the zone is, and you basically build a gigantic fortnight palace of stasis crystals nearby and slowly creep closer and closer to the zone by expanding your sphere of stasis crystals. You literally want to be making and breaking crystals constantly, generating over shield and dominating the area that will eventually become the capture zone.
See here’s what’s brutal about this build and play style. It forces your opponents to engage while you are in your strongest position and they are in their weakest.
Your opponents are forced to push or the game goes to time and you capture the zone. But if they push, they’re pushing into 3 behemoths with over shields, damage resist, and cover in the form of exploding stasis crystals.
Now when your opponents are about to engage, which usually happens when the zone becomes active for capture, get your teammate to give you all Woven Mail immediately before the fight starts which gives you:
Congratulations, you are literally unable to be 1-shot by virtually any single shotgun, fusion rifle or grenade launcher.

Weapons

Now, in terms of weapons, the most important thing is that ONE member of your fireteam runs The Navigator trace rifle. The Navigator doesn’t really need be used in combat but rather as a way to self-buff your team before engagements.
And the nice thing about using this build is that you KNOW when the engagements are going to happen. They’re going to happen when the zone becomes active for capture, whether that’s Trials or Survival.
Other than the Navigator, I recommend that everyone else uses Cerberus paired with either a Grenade Launcher or a Fusion Rifle.
Now you might be thinking, that’s a weird combo, why those specific weapons? Well, Cerberus 1 lets you break crystals faster than any other weapon in the game and building then breaking crystals is quite literally the centerpiece of this build.
Grenade launchers are used because apart from doing huge chunk damage to the opponent, if the grenade launcher detonates next to a stasis crystal near your opponent, the stasis detonation plus the grenade launcher can basically 1-shot them. If you don’t like grenade launchers, you can also use fusions to very good effect.
And Fusion rifles are excellent to use because you can literally just trade fusion shot for fusion shot with an opponent and you’ll win 100% of the time. If they shoot you with a fusion, you survive because of your damage resist, but if you shoot them back, they die. It’s like those old movies where two people duel with pistols - except in our case, we’re wearing a bullet proof vest.
---
OK guys, there's more detail/demos in the video, but I think that pretty much covers everything!
Have a good one, and I'll see you all in the Crucible,
MrArmageddon
submitted by MrArmageddonTTV to CrucibleGuidebook [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:03 GrokRockRadio Need help getting one pokemon

I'd really appreciate if anyone could trade me a cherubi/cherrim, I've been really unlucky with getting one in my mirage islands. I can return the favor with any pokemon you're looking for, I have nearly the entire natdex atm.
submitted by GrokRockRadio to pokemonXY [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:03 sisnoot Possibly inane questions.

To preface this post, I've been to Thailand twice -- USA citizen/passport holder. First visit was a month and my second visit was nearly 6 months in length. I'm stating that info because I feel like I should know the answers to the questions I'm going to ask, but I read so many subjective experiences on this subreddit, it's hard to discern. I'm going back to Thailand at some point again this year, but have to take a break considering I was there from November-April. There's some things I'd like to become clear on before I return:
I appreciate any and all info. I always feel extra dimwitted when it comes to airline/airport questions.
submitted by sisnoot to ThailandTourism [link] [comments]


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submitted by AutoModerator to Genkicourses_Com [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:02 Sad-Biscotti-9325 Starting Contrave...TOMORROW

Hi everyone! I have been researching weigh loss medications for about 3 months now and based on my insurance coverage, and cost, Contrave is the medication I've decided to go with.
A little bit about me: I'm 30 years old, 5'2, female, and my starting weight as of this morning is 225. I have PCOS, Hypothyroid, Hashimotos, and other auto inflammatory issues. The highest I've ever weighed was 240. I lost 40 lbs. during the first half of the pandemic and then gained about 38lbs back. I started CICO about a 2 months ago and have lost about 12lbs. Right now I cannot seem to move the scale past 222lbs and have been fluctuating between 222 and 225 for the last few weeks.
Why weight loss meds: I need the food noise to go away. I need to live life without constantly thinking about what I'm going (or won't) eat next. My first choice would have been WeGovy because a lot of people say the food noise dies with it but my insurance doesn't cover it and I can't justify spending $1.1k a month. I have read people say the same thing about Contrave so I am hoping this helps. I also am just excited to have that extra push. I know that for people who have never experienced obesity or feeling out of control when it comes to eating food will never understand this.
I even hear from some of my thin friends that eating and exercising should be enough. I'm keeping this a secret and not telling anyone because I don't have time or the willpower to explain to them what it's like to carry an extra 100 pounds and to work so hard and see little come off. I know that I can lose the weight with CICO alone. For me though, it's just so slow. I don't want to wait 3 years before I'm at my goal weight. I'm ready for my life to change for the better...today. Its frustrating when I hear people irl and on tiktok talk about how wegovy, contrave, ozempic, are all cheating. Why is it that we allow cheat codes FOR EVERY OTHER ASPECT OF LIFE, except losing weight. Don't want to walk 1.5 miles to your supermarket? Cheat code: get in your car, bus, taxi, etc. Don't want to vacuum your own floors? Cheat code: Pay someone to clean your house for you. The examples go on and on. I'm ranting now, but I hope you get the point.
How I'm mitigating side effects: I was supposed to start this morning but my delivery got delayed. It is in the Amazon fulfilment center that is near where I live and I am hoping it gets delivered tonight for me to start tomorrow. While I am adjusting to the medication I am going to be mindful of 2 things - My water and my caffeine intake. I have heard anecdotally from others that the reason why headaches are so bad on Contrave is because people no longer crave the coffee they normally drink but their bodies are still used that that amount of caffeine and it's a withdrawal from that. I am planning on upping my water intake and sticking to the same amount of caffeine I drink. Luckily, I don't drink too much coffee, most of the time it's one or two espresso shots in a day. One at 10am and one at 2pm after lunch. I'm also going to be more diligent tracking my food and when I eat to see if any of that plays a part with the side effects.
Diet: I'm happy that I've sort of conditioned myself to stay within the 1500 calorie range the last few weeks because I've already noticed that I am unable to eat the amount of food I was consuming before. I eat pretty much the same thing for breakfast and lunch everyday to keep my life simple. I am also going to go on a alcohol cleanse. I don't drink that often and its usually within a social setting but I really want to see how my life is without alcohol. I also read that eating fatty foods is a no-go with Contrave so I will be eliminating those from my diet, as well.
Goal: I am not naïve to think I'm going to wake up in my dream body on Sunday morning. This is going to take work and dedication. My goal would be to lose 30 lbs in the next 12 weeks which is about 2.5 lbs a week. I know the scale isn't going to look exactly like that every week, but that's what I'm hoping to average. After I hit that first goal, I will focus on the next. Ultimately I would be happy in the 120-125 range which is about 100 lbs total lost.

I will be posting here with my updates regularly and hope I can find a community of people on the same journey who'll keep me accountable.

submitted by Sad-Biscotti-9325 to GetContrave [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:02 DisorganisedPigeon Ex (f31) called me (m31) a sociopath and blocked me after contacting her mother about our breakup. Do you think I am one or was she lashing out?

Me and my ex had broken up a couple of times in our 9 months together. I was always caring and loving, but we did have bouts of arguing and disagreements which eventually drained her and she called it quits. She lost her son 3 years ago and had been getting counselling lately, suffers from depression, autistic and doesn’t like to go out much because of it.
When she broke up I pushed a bit questioning why as she was so into me a few days before. It got to the point we sent a few long messages back snd forth but could tell she was getting annoyed so I dropped it and apologised.
She replied back but I decided not to. The following morning she sends me this: “Right no! Absolutely not! Why the fuck are you messaging my mum! Fuck off! Leave me alone. I don’t want you anywhere near me! How fucking dare you message my mum and show her conversations of us! Your a fucking psychopath! Keys gone in the bin! Now! Now I don’t want anything to do with you!!”.
Her mother had been helping me understand how she works in difficult times (as my ex didn’t speak much about it) and I’d brought up a conversation of when she was excited for a holiday and house and told her I was confused why she wanted to break it off. Her mother was supportive but I realised I crossed a boundary here.
My ex found out as I forgot I asked her mother to chase up my spare key and then I’d already asked my ex after.
Two hours after she sent that message, she saw me typing then blocked me on whatsapp.
I’ve attempted to apologise on instagram last week but she left it unread, so this week I posted a letter apologising it was wrong for me to cross that boundary, wishing her luck in future.
Our relationship had it’s problems and I was responsible for not being as fun towards the end hence the breakup, but I absolutely hate she sees me as a sociopath now. Was this just her lashing out and do you think one day she could forgive me?
(I planned to message her mother again to see if she got my apology letter, but realised this would go against what I was apologising for. I know the letter got there, but obviously don’t know if she read it or not)
TL;DR - Ex who has previous trauma broke up as I stopped being my fun self and had another disagreement. I reacted to the breakup poorly by wondering why, pleading a bit, etc as I was confused by it. Ex finds out I spoke to her mother about the breakup (who had been supportive of me) and ex has now blocked me on whatsapp. She left my Instagram apology unread so I had sent a letter apologising. I’ve not done anything further than this, am I genuinely a sociopath or was she lashing out?
submitted by DisorganisedPigeon to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:02 HarperPee Did a pymetrics test for a job in a company I already work for

I'm a contract worker in my company, I actually like the industry and want to be permanent so I applied for an internal job in another city. I know the industry at this point like the back of my hand and I'm good at what I do. My company is super corporate so puts a huge emphasis on cultural fit and ability to be personable. By nature I struggle socially but I've done a lot of work over the years on my social skills and I do pretty well, I think the fact that I do well at something that didn't come naturally to me at first is a good thing.
So I apply for this job and they ask me to do a pymetrics test like an hour after I apply. I did the pymetrics test this morning, but I wish I just refused to do it. I can't believe how ridiculous the experience was.
I think I'll probably be filtered out by AI, based on one or two 5 minute games. Without having spoken to a human, even though they can see on my resume that I already work here. I scored pretty low in ability to learn, which I think is inaccurate, and apparently I basically can't gauge emotion based on someone's face. I don't think I'm going to be in with a chance based on this test, even though I have been told consistently that I am excellent at my job, hit the ground running in every situation and adapt like a duck to water to nearly everything that gets thrown at me.
This is so dehumanizing.
submitted by HarperPee to recruitinghell [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 17:02 dmrhine I’m worried my marriage is making me worse..

He can’t support me because he’s almost always in some kind of episode of his own. Over the years he’s been diagnosed with complex PTSD, dissociative identity disorder, major depressive disorder, and now autism spectrum disorder. We grew so much in couples counseling for 3 years until our therapist retired. I’m exhausted thinking about starting up with a new one, but I’ll probably do it anyway. I dedicate so much time and energy to him and his therapy (right now I’m driving him an hour away to do intensive ketamine sessions at his therapist’s house every Saturday) meanwhile I’m white knuckling through my own episodes and doing nearly all the household work because he can’t. We might have to rehome one of our dogs because he can’t deal with her constant high-pitched barking. I woke up today feeling so sad and hopeless, nevermind neglected. We haven’t had sex in months, and it was barely monthly before that for years. I’m only 41 and I have no social life since we moved to a new state. I had to give up my one close friend here because my hyper sexuality was making me think I was in love with him. I’ll be financially ruined if we split, and I’m honestly concerned he might kill himself. I just don’t know what to do anymore. 😭
submitted by dmrhine to bipolar [link] [comments]